Why Are We Here?

Do you know why we are here?

God met with his council and said, "Let's make man in our image." (Genesis 1:26-28) This with the purpose of us ruling with Him.  Satan wasn't a fan, of course then, he was Lucifer.  He didn't want us included just like first borns don't want to share mom and dad with their new baby sibling.  As we see the story unfold in the Bible, we can see, Satan became our enemy.  (I Peter 5:8) Satan's plans and God's plans stand in direct opposition (John 10:10). 

God did in fact create us (you know obviously, because we are here).  As we see the story unfold, we see that we messed up.  Adam and Eve left the garden.  God needed a new way to see his vision happen.  His new plan came in the form of a covenant, fancy word for promise or contract, with the children of Abraham, the nation that would come to be known as Israel.  If you've read the Bible you know they also messed up, so again, God needed a new plan to accomplish his goal.

Enter Jesus.

Who was (is) Jesus?  He was God in human form - not quite the Sci-Fi shape shifters but something like that.  Because Jesus was human he had the same issues we did (Hebrews 4:15) but because he was God he was able to be the perfect sacrifice.

In order for man to rule with God and his celestial council, (I Corinthians 6:3) we needed to be perfect, but no man had been able to do that.  In the pre-Jesus days, that perfection was sought through atonement - animal sacrifice.

Satan nor anyone of Jesus' day knew He came to die.

Everyone thought he came to rule like King David had.  They were expecting a government take over.  Jesus instead came to be the final sacrifice.  (Matthew 4:1-11) His blood would atone, not only for the wrongs of the Jewish people, but for all people.  His new covenant included everyone.

Good Friday is the day Jesus died.  Jesus first incited Satan with the purpose of being killed so he could take us back from our enemy - a rescue mission.

Then came Sunday.

Satan thought he had won, but he was duped.  Easter Sunday is the day Jesus came back to life.  He conquered the grave.  (I Corinthians 15:55-57) Good Friday and Easter re-established God's plan.  We can now rule with Him!

All we have to do is: 1) Believe, 2) Receive, 3) Follow (Romans 3:23, 3:10, 5:12, 6:23, 5:8, 10:9-10, 10:13, 10:17).  

In essence if we made the choice to accept God's sacrifice for our life, we are accepting a royal leadership role.

When we see stories in the news about Prince Harry's upcoming wedding with Meghan Markle, we read about the ways Meghan must transition into her role of royalty.  People have been up in arms over her requirement to give us social media, and yet trading everyday for royalty does come with perks and sacrifice.

Doesn't this same thing happen for us?  If we know we have become royalty with Jesus' act of love, doesn't that motivate us to live differently?  Instead of a focus on acquiring more on earth or getting what we want, shouldn't we be looking to the needs of others as more important than our own (Philippians 2:3-11). 

Easter is coming, and we have a story to tell.  That doesn't mean we don't participate in family gatherings, Easter egg hunts or shopping for a new outfit, but we have much more to celebrate!!!  Easter is a celebration of our freedom - our emancipation from death!!!  We aren't just waiting for the day we rule but we have part of God living in us (John 14:15-17) and heaven starts now!

So why are we here?  We are here to know God and make him known.  We are here to love one another.  We are here for purposes beyond this physical world!

4 Lessons From Disney's "Wrinkle In Time"

This last week my son and I finished reading the book, “A Wrinkle In Time” by Madeleine L'Engle. I told my son we couldn't see the movie until we finished the book, and even though he didn’t quite get why, he was motivated to complete it. We had a great mother/son date going to see the movie, but I would be lying if I didn't admit my disappointment with  Disney's take on this treasured book.  The undeniable Christian themes in the book were replaced with a universal religious message that didn’t resonate with me.  (On a side note: I also felt rushed through the story and missed some of the scenes that were omitted from the book.  I felt the depth of the story was lost as some of the modern elements inadvertently added  a superficial quality that distracted from the overall themes).  

Despite my criticisms, I still came away with some teaching points that Caleb and I discussed and were about to apply to our own lives.  

1. The Importance of Parenting - In the end, Dr. Murry apologizes to his daughter, Meg, for missing out on 4 years of her life because of his tessering misadventures.  He looks at her and says, “Instead of shaking hands with the universe, I should have been holding yours.”  

Parents are people and we have our own dreams and aspirations and that is never wrong, but when those dreams supersede our role as parent we miss out on the greatest opportunity we have to shape someone’s life.   Parenting is hard in the moments, but over before you know it. You can’t get that time back, so its important to give it your full attention.  We have to be present as parents and this message met me loud and clear from the silver screen.  

2. The Paramount Power of Love - Clearly when Charles Wallace is overtaken by IT, he is in all accounts, demon-possessed.  IT uses fear, revenge and anger as its primary weapon in overcoming any and every target.  Love, was the only thing that could overcome the evil of IT.  Love is what Jesus did on the cross, he gave his life for all and cared for us in that act, despite our flaws.  As Meg points out, love sees us for who we are and doesn’t quit in the midst of reality.  That love is what defeated IT and returned Charles Wallace to his body and home.  Love is what Christians are tasked to share with the world, regardless the circumstances.  

3. The Significance of Facing Your Fears - Calvin’s relationship with his parent (mom in book vs dad in movie) is  tumultuous at best.  The fear he faces is referenced in movie and as the final scenes conclude, he notes that it took him a "trip around the universe" to face his fears.  Finding Nemo is another movie that highlights this theme and its something we all need to learn.  Fear is a prison and love is the antidote. It does take risk to face one’s fears, but even if you fail, you are stronger for trying, and its easier to dust yourself off and try again.  Being free from fear is definitely worth any risk involved! 

4. The Treasure Of Being You - We are imperfect people and our comparison game of why someone else is better than us or how “this one thing” would make us better is a lie and a trap.  When we focus on what we wish we were, we miss out the beauty of who we actually are.  Meg is a great example of this as she encounters her dream self and has to use her faults to save the day.  This doesn’t mean we stop working at being better people, it just means we acknowledge the wonderful creation of God we truly are.   

Do any of these speak to you in the reality of your life, today?  Is there a challenge in these four points that can motivate you to explore outside your comfort zone and encourage you to grow as a person?  Whether you watched the movie or not, loved it or hated it, I think the bonus lesson is no matter what, you can always glean from your experiences in life, fictional or otherwise!  Happy Wednesday and beyond!! 

Why Parenting Is So Hard!

I think anyone who has kids, of any variety, knows parenting is HARD! Don't get me wrong, it is also amazing!! Becoming a mom awakened a part of me that didn't exist before.  I am in awe of these mini-people who fill my life with frustration and happiness of equal and epic proportions. 

But why is parenting so hard?  That is a bigger question than this blog post could ever answer, but the answer that is currently resonating with me is because of what our kids reveal in us.  Even though kids are unique, they still reflect the best and worst of us, as parents. 

My son is just like me so finding the parallels of my personal issues in his behavior has never been hard, but my daughter is another story.   When I found out my youngest was a girl, I cried. I cried because I wanted a boy.   

At the time I didn't fully understand what was happening in my soul, but as I've been her mom, I see now it was fear.  I was afraid to be a mom to a girl, because I was afraid to look at parts of myself I was subconsciously avoiding. 

As God has walked with me into the darkness of my hidden self-loathing, I have faced my fear of not being enough in being her mom. 

Let me be clear, I love my daughter and I wouldn't trade her for the world.  I also welcome the journey of self-discovery that raising her has led me on.  I am one who wholeheartedly believes, the best life is one that is free from past junk! Despite the pain of facing my inner demons, I am eager to be baggage-free. 

But all of this just enforces the challenges of parenting.  We are humans in process, after all.  Having to do everyday life and then be sent the unexpected self-awareness curveball through your child's behavior is downright, overwhelming!   You never know when your child will playback your greatest fears and worst habits in their tantrum about homework, or be hurt by a friend and be crushed in a way you remember happening when you were younger.  What is that one thing you hate about yourself?  Seeing it in that face you'd die for or wish you could rescue them from your flaw you despise  - is terrifying!    We can't stop our kids from being like us - human or from getting hurt. 

The good news is, we aren't alone and God has a plan.  He will use every ounce of our good and bad parenting to shape their character and purpose and to heal our past in the process if we let him.  Some of my favorite traits were birthed out of the hardest challenges I faced, so I have to allow my kids to do the same.  When I look at this in reverse, I can tell you, I know my parents faults, but I love being like them in spite of those traits. 

How great is God that he uses our kids to draw us out of our comfort zones and allows us the space to grow in our relationship with him, self-awareness and desire to heal?! 

As I am reading Job right now in the Bible, I am reminded how often we feel the need to give advice when what we really need to do is offer encouragement.  Sure advice is necessary at times, but we don't have all the answers so engaging others like we do, isn't always helpful.  Job had three friends with loads of advice, but failed to give him what he needed - someone to remind him, he wasn't alone and to encourage not to give up. 

So here I am, letting you know - you aren't alone, so don't give up!  If you need more relational time, make space in your schedule to spend time with people - face to face, so you can grow your friendships and take care of your soul.  Keep going - God is bigger than whatever you face.  Ask him to show you just how big he is, then stand back and watch!!!  Happy Wednesday! 

Are You Tempted To Quit?

I will be honest, I get tired of my own issues.  I work hard to be the best I can be.  I am always learning and growing but I still fail - A LOT!!!  My mom lovingly helped me recently to see, despite my lifetime battle with the same issues, I am making progress.  I rebound faster and when I fail its not the train wreck status it was in the past. 

January of this year I got hit pretty hard and wrote the following.  Unfortunately, I'm just getting around to sharing it with you.

I often feel unworthy of the words I write in this blog.  This past week was no exception.  After reading the mantras I needed to feed the positive in my thoughts, I found myself in my pit of despair speaking the lies I am fighting so hard to conquer. 

When I feel like an utter failure, like the one mistake God made, and when I hear myself question if I even deserve the life I live, I am encouraged to know I am not alone in this struggle.

My thoughts can often be my greatest battle.  Books have been written about the spiritual battlefield of the mind.  I am not just fighting for myself, but anyone else who battles the inner demons.  This is the first week of this new year and I've already fallen, but its not going to keep my down.

I don't know how you are starting your year off, but if its less than those sparkly ideals you envisioned, don't give up!  Remember, you aren't alone, God is speaking to you and working in you and he wants you to get up and keep going.  If my life can be an example of the ways God leads you down that path, then let it be.  Truth is I am not a failure, but I do fail because I am a human. 

When I define myself with my missteps I am doing no one any favors.  We are in a fight every day against the enemy and against our personal issues.  I have to keep fighting for myself and for the people that rely on me.

I don't know what you get up and face, but I do know you are worth the fight.  Change the script and begin to call out the thoughts that don't belong in your self-talk.  Speak life and truth and be the kind of friend to yourself that you would want to be to someone else. 

If you remember anything from these words, remember you are worth it.  Don't judge yourself by the number of times you fall on your face, but the number of times you get up.  You will get there, even if it takes 90 years.  Here are a few scriptures to give you encouragement today!!!

Deuteronomy 31:6 - Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the one who goes with you.  He will not leave you nor forsake you. 

Psalm 55:22 - Give your worries to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will never let good people down.

Ephesians 2:10 - God created you to do amazing things. (paraphrase)

Romans 15:13 - I pray that the God who gives hope will fill you with much joy and peace while you trust in him. Then your hope will overflow by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Psalm 46:1 - God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. 

Lamentations 3:22-23 - The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

I DON'T KNOW YOU

When I was growing up if I liked a famous person, I could always write a letter to their
fan club and hope to receive an autographed photo in the mail.  Those in the Hollywood limelight were unapproachable to the average folk, like myself.  Times have changed since those days. 

Now, if I like an actress or singer, all I have to do is follow their Instagram and I instantly know all about their life - where they eat, their kids and fur babies, their latest red carpet event and the trip they just took.  This change goes beyond fame; when I meet someone at an event I speak at, or in a meeting at the kid's school, I can then go add them on Facebook or accept their request to friend me.  Craig Groeschel makes note of the use of the word "friend" on Facebook in his book, "#Struggles: Following Jesus in a Selfie-Centered World."  Its true, we get fed a subconscious lie that we are adding to our friends whenever we add someone to that list of connections. 

The internet has tricked me.  Its tricked me into thinking I have a lot of friends.  Truth - I do have a lot of friends, but as I've aged, I have way more acquaintances than friends.  Friend - you know the person that is there when life has got you down or pops the champagne when you conquer that mountain you climbed.  A friend isn't just someone who is connected with you on Facebook or follows you on Instagram.

Because here is the thing - knowing something about someone doesn't mean we know them! Its awkward sometimes to stand next to a mom at pick up that I have never sat and just talked with, but I know all about her family and that hard time she went through last year, because Facebook told me. 

The same can be true for people like Candace Cameron Bure.  I feel connected because I watch her on Hallmark Channel and I follow her feed, but I have NEVER met the woman.  She has no clue who I am.  We are not friends. Its time for a reality-check.  Can you distinguish between your true friends and just people you know about?  I have to remind myself of this truth as I scroll the feeds - I DON'T KNOW YOU!!! This doesn't mean, there aren't acquaintances that I'm pursuing friendship with or friends who have grown and gone their own ways that I stay connected with, because this is why I love social media!

The danger comes when we live online and forget to maintain relationships in real time.  Doing so will lead to loneliness and depression and often worse.  The hole in people is what often fuels the horrible stories we read in the news.

This is also true in our spiritual life.  Knowing about Jesus, doesn't equate to knowing him.  Knowing him is accomplished in the same way we know people around us - spending time together.  I sit and talk to God about my life, about the Bible and while he doesn't speak in words to me, he speaks back.  He connects with me through moments in life where I see my heart fulfilled or when I got that thing that didn't mean anything except that he heard me.  He speaks to me through the Bible, a book that has been around forever, and yet can speak to my specific day. 

 The light at the end of this tunnel is that its easy to fix.  Life offline as much if not more than you do online.  Meet someone for coffee, get to know a new friend and put the work in, to make that Facebook "friend" a real-life friend!!!  Same with God - he makes it easy to come to him and its never too late to start. 

Do you have the proper balance between your online and offline self?  Do you need to adjust or maybe you got this down and its your turn to share it with someone else?  Checking in with ourselves is a must for a healthy life!  There is always a take-away.  So go and get it!

Generational Culture Shock

On a recent trip onto a junior high campus, I was stunned by the reality of teenagers today.  I am approaching 40 at the end of this year and I have worked with teenagers for over 15 years, and I can tell you, the generation coming up now and the little ones following them are nothing like us!  Yes, as we get older the divide between the older folks and youngin's does increase, but that is not what I am talking about. 

We are entering new territory. 

I recently cheered at a friend's Facebook post as she was sharing her kids encounters with Alexa.  As she eloquently shared her life and the conclusions she was drawing, she noted that to children today, virtual assistants and technology just is.  There is no question of life before because it is just reality, she then equated it to electricity for us.  I've seen Downton Abbey and other period shows and movies and see that transition into life with electricity and yet, I've never really thought about it.  Electricity just is.  I don't worry about what life would be without it because, its life. 

This is the new territory I am discussing.  As I approach teenagers, I have to approach it like I do when I travel.  I've travelled around 27 countries in my lifetime (even with my 7 year international hiatus) and what I love about the experiences I've collected is the way I see people.  I use their culture and customs as the lens for when I interact with people of different cultures, not my own. 

If you were raised in a world where there were no computers or cell phones (let alone smart phones), then this is the mindset you must take to interact with younger generations.  Because they don't understand your analog mindset in their digital world.

This difference is NOT your excuse just to stay away and keep isolated in your generation bubble.  That would be wrong, why? 

1. You need younger people to help you see their world and to understand the changes that are happening, even at a novice level because it changes so FAST!

2.  They need you!  Kids today aren't taught how to have unscripted conversations (thanks for revealing that, Craig Groeschel), they can't decipher real relationships for superficial acquaintances.  They don't know how to reach out when life gets hard and how to have proper boundaries with the people they encounter.  This is a problem!

Sure many adults don't get these things, but there is a difference between personality differences and cultural norms.  Life online has eliminated relational depth.  The internet isn't going away so instead of being annoyed by the change, its time to infuse the culture with the connection abilities us old folks grew up with. 

While a lot has changed, some things never change. God made us for relationship and in fact, he not only made us to need it from each other, he made us because he wanted one with us.  Our need for connection, intimacy and living in a trusted community are crucial no matter what our culture we ascribe.  Yes, its hard to step out into the world or even just out of your world, but its necessary!

I believe a lot of the violence we are seeing comes from this need for real in a superficial reality (of course its not the only cause), but loneliness and unmet hunger for connection can have devasting results.  Intergenerational communication can help alleviate the soul holes many are facing. 

This is why I love working with teenagers!  Not only do I learn the latest phrases, but I get to be in relationship with them and allow them to give to their peers the real stuff in life and be people that made me proud! Go out there and get uncomfortable and messy and engage someone in a different age range than you.  Some of my best friends hover around 80 and 18.  This is the way life should be!!!!

3 Reasons Why You Won't Change

 

Have you ever wanted to lose weight? Get a better job? Organize your house? Be more efficient? Be a better communicator?  Use that gym membership?  Save money?  Or do anything that just never happened? Ever wonder why you couldn't do it? Well I'm about to tell you 3 reasons why change isn't happening. 

 I am always striving for better, and I admit, I'm a bit of self-help junkie. I love reading how-to's, but recently I read a book and when I was finished, I realized: I didn't learn anything new. 

I don't know it all, but I've read enough articles and books, been on the best email lists and followed some great leaders through social media, videos and podcasts, to know the 4 keys to success or the proper order to a clean house.  The problem comes in applying the knowledge.  I have to put the plan into action and that is the hardest step. 

I am almost done with the book, "When Panic Attacks: The New, Drug-Free Anxiety Therapy That Can Change Your Life," by Dr. David D. Burns.  It is a great book and has actually presented me with some amazing options for overcoming anxiety.  In his book he states the issue with the lists I referenced above, is that telling someone 5 ways to (fill in the blank) is that they ignore the first step - someone has to want to change.   

Change is hard!  You will only succeed if you:

1. Decide to change and do something different than your current routine.  That is why letting someone else in your process is important because they can be the impetus you need to change by keeping you accountable. Knowing how the change can take place doesn't matter if you don't resolve to do life differently. 

Why don't we want to change? There are a number of reasons but mainly homeostasis is easier.  Routine is just that - routine.  We can keep going.  The other reasons often include facing fears, and taking a look at the stuff we use our devices and favorite shows to avoid.  Avoidance and denial have kept the entertainment industry on top! 

2.  Focus on thriving not surviving.  I don't know your life, but I do know mine.  Sure, I would love a clean house and a thinner version of myself looking back at me in the mirror, but those things come  at a cost and usually in order for more to happen, my chill time is what gets traded for the work.  Life is hard and I am tired, because I go, and I go, and I go.  Changing my juggle, would probably mean I would drop a few balls in the process and would create more work, even though the work now would be payoff later.  Its easy to just try to survive, but we were made for more. 

Change isn't happening if you are looking to just survive, because surviving means doing the minimum.  Trust me there is no shade thrown your way if you are maxxed out and surviving is the name of your game, but don't expect to meet goals.  Goals get met when we go after more.  For me, its the abundant life Jesus talks about in the Bible (John 10:10).  Abundant life is the best, but it involves sacrifice, giving, being uncomfortable and facing the junk in your emotional closet. 

3. Face those fears and insecurities that haunt you.  I have walked through the pain of a past abortion and the skeletons from an abusive step parent.  Those emotional victories were amazing, but I have to be real when I say -  neither of those were as hard as looking into my heart and facing the negative crap I've repeated for more than 30 years (we aren't saying how many more than 30 years). 

I have had some mean things said to me in my life, but nothing as bad as what I've said to myself.  Change means retraining your thoughts, words and behaviors and doing so means looking at why they are there in the first place.  My recent epiphany that revealed some internal hatred of parts of me, not only shocked me, but its been scary at times to look at what is really going on and face it.  BUT, IF I WANT TO CHANGE, I HAVE TO FACE IT!!!!

Change is possible. 

The best change in me has always come with my team.  My team includes my God, Jesus Christ, at the head of the whole thing, and then the people he has planted in my life.

The key to change is loving community.  The common string to everything above is that its easier with others.  When we are fearful, surviving and stuck, we tend to want to isolate, but isolation doesn't cure, instead it further infects.  That is the recipe for making things worse.  You may have to find your team and that isn't easy either, but worth it!

 Do something different, get accountability, refocus on thriving and replace those negative thoughts with ones that are full of grace and truth.  You got this!  Oh, and please, make sure to tell me about it!!!