I am insane. There are no men waiting at my door to place me in my own white jacket, though I’m sure my husband thinks there should be sometimes. Its just when I take a step back and look at some of things I do or struggle with I can honestly say, its nuts!
I had another post planned for today but thought I would take a moment to breathe and share something from my real life in real time.
Do you ever step back and watch yourself from a bird’s eye view? As if you were some reality tv star being able to see your daily routine, ok so not entirely the same as there is nothing real about reality tv, but you get my point. If you haven’t, you should - you will be amazed!
Today, I am going out of town for two nights. I am going to a conference and will be sitting in classrooms all day. Packing should be a simple task. Yet, if you’d watch me try to get ready to leave, you think I would be going away for a year. I have lived in 6 states, 2 foreign countries, I have lived in at least 21 different houses/apartments and have travelled to 27 countries. Packing shouldn’t be difficult for me but the truth is:
I CANT PACK!
I suck at it. I also run around like a crazy person. I had this conversation with my husband this morning,
a man who has raised two daughters before I came around and is fully capable of running the house despite the copious notes I have left for him.
What is wrong with me?
The simple answer is - I am human and I struggle with anxiety. So there you go, but when I see it play out sometimes it completely makes me want to laugh. I am going crazy over scenarios that haven’t happened, and preparing for the apocalypse and I am just going to be a few hours drive away!
When I read the Bible, I often wonder why God repeats himself so much and I am pretty sure the answer is because we need it! Don't we all act insane at times? We need God and more importantly we are a hot mess without him.
If you are reading this, I hope you see the humor in my words because I know we are also wonderful, competent people. But at our worst, I think insane is a good word.
You know what? Even when you are acting like me - a chicken with their head cut off obsessing over things that don't matter, God loves you. He died for me when I was a hot mess! (Romans 5:8 - note that is a Carrie paraphrase, the Bible does not actually say hot mess).
You know when I have a day like today, I have to take a step back and not take myself so seriously. Sometimes I can laugh at my imperfections and issues because if you were at my house watching me today, you would chuckle at my craziness. I know my husband does.
I am so grateful I have a God who loves me as much as he does! If you need a dose of love today, read I John in the Bible (its towards the back) and see just how much God loves you. He gave his life for you and that is a sacrificial love that changes people.
Happy Wednesday! And if you think of it, pray for me as I leave this house!