Procrastination

Any procrastinators out there?  I am a procrastinator.  Its a topic I've heard a lot about, because, well, I can relate.  The thing is there is both good and bad out there on the subject. 

In college, I had a professor discuss the benefits of procrastination.  He shared that the adrenaline we get from procrastination actually fuels our ability to be productive.  Where it goes into the negative zone, is when we overuse it and can only be productive when we are amping up the adrenaline in constant procrastination, this can cause adrenal fatigue, thus hurting our bodies.

I've heard many people talk about procrastination as just a way to be lazy, and someone just putting off work.  I'm sure there is truth there, but probably the most accurate assessment for me of procrastination came from Kevin Leman.  Dr. Kevin Leman is a psychologist who studies and speaks on subjects like parenting, birth order, personalities, and marriage.  I find his birth order work to be insightful and I've enjoyed reading his books over the years. 

Kevin shares that procrastination can be a result of perfectionist influences.  Those who grew up with perfectionism as a guiding standard tend to procrastinate because they are avoiding the judgement of their process.  Doing it last minute gives less time for being judged on their work and also gives an excuse if they are judged because they just did it last minute.  

This completely makes sense to me.  It rings true, just as well as getting the adrenaline rush from doing things with less time.  Not only do I get a rush of adrenaline when I'm flying about, but I often feel better about myself for accomplishing my list in record time, but I'm pretty sure that is a false high and truthfully would have been more responsible to give the tasks the time and attention they deserve.  

The lesson that has helped me, is to just do it now.  Haven't we learned that the hare doesn't win in the end, the tortoise does.  Taking the work load and being consistent wins every time.  

Rushing often brings mistakes and seems to keep our brains from processing all it needs to, leading to forgotten tasks along the way.  
When I am finishing up after an event, I find, if I don't put everything away when I am done, stuff can sit around for weeks and pile up with the rest of the things I haven't accomplished.  

My motto has become, "Why put off for tomorrow, what I can do today."  

The Bible in James 4:14, reminds us that we don't know what tomorrow will bring.  I can't tell you how many times I have forced myself to finish something only to get a sick kid, or a friend in crisis who needs me, or some other life happening the next day and realize, I wouldn't have been able to accomplish it.  

We never know what will come up in life and we have to be diligent to accomplish what is on our plate.  I'm not an expert in this, I am a human in process, trying to apply what I have learned along the way and in turn, share it with you.  I know I am not alone in this and I want to share what God is teaching me.   

Evaluating why I procrastinate is a valuable lesson in self-discovery as well as self-improvement.  Saying self-improvement after discussing perfectionism seems crazy, I know, but for me improving means being less perfect and more forgiving of myself.  Its becoming more healthy as an individual.  Worrying about what others think or letting their opinions keep me down isn't healthy and I don't want to live with that weight on my shoulders.  

I'm not concluding this by saying procrastination is bad.  I am saying, evaluate why you procrastinate and deal with what you need to and remember - a little procrastination goes a long way.  

In Need Of A New Perspective?

I have an ever active two-year-old in my home at this stage in life.  

She is beautiful,
sweet,
loving,
smart and
totally ornery!   She is into EVERYTHING!!! (Please Note: Despite this last characteristic, she is amazing!) 

Because of her tendency to pull everything out and toss it about, there are subsequently a lot of activities that don't happen for me or in our home right now.  Despite this reality, I recently decided to put together a 1,000 piece puzzle.  It took me about a week and while a challenge at first, in the end it was very rewarding. 

I remember in the process, picking up a piece knowing it belonged to a particular section but still struggling to get it to work in the right place, only to notice I was looking at it sideways or upside down. 

Other pieces had to be set aside because they were in a section that was all one color.  I had to wait until the end when I had less pieces to put in so that I could try each piece until I got them all arranged. 

I realized afterwards, that this experience was a great allegory for life. 

We often get frustrated when something doesn't go as planned, but often the way everything goes ends up being the best because we have a God with a plan.  It also illustrates the power of perspective.  Perspective truly is everything.

I recently finished a book (Have A New You By Friday by Kevin Leman) where he shared a great example on the power of perspective.  He discussed an addict who after 2-3 weeks clean, had a relapse.  In that moment perspective can either propel him into action to get up and go for it again or push him into a dark abyss where he feels hopeless to ever be clean.  He can acknowledge that he made it 2-3 weeks and be encouraged that he has done better than ever before and will make the right adjustments to start again, or he can beat himself up for failing and just stop trying because all he is a loser anyway. 

Bullying is a hot topic these days and with all the ways social media can be abused to torture others, it can quickly turn into a serious matter.  As a 38-year-old who grew up before computers were oxygen, I never experienced the levels kids can today, but as I look back to that pre-adolescent time when I was going through a personal hell at home and coming to school to get bashed for my body, family or moral compass, I can now see the benefits of that bullying.  You heard me, right, benefits.  I can see it now with the proper perspective. 

As a youth pastor I am around a lot of teenagers.  I don't just spend time with teens I know, but I also go onto campuses and through myself into situations where I know no one.  Thanks to what I felt in those early years,

I now am highly intuitive to the emotions of others,

I have an exquisite radar for noticing the alienated and

using my conversational skills and quirky affect to pull them out of hiding. 

I have a deeper compassion for the pre-adolescent and adolescent stages because of my varied stations among the proverbial social ladder.  There was a time when I was popular and well-liked by my peers, but that only came after my time as a social pariah. 

Every bad situation has a great perspective (though some don't come with instant understanding).  In fact, let me be clear - telling someone going through a hard time to look at the brighter side, will earn  you a kick in the teeth. 

The use of perspective is not to use as a weapon to tell a parent who just lost a child that they are in a better place.  Perspective is for us to utilize in order to find joy where life has us.  In grief and tragedy, time is often an ingredient to help with perspective. 

But how can you use it now?  Can you take Kevin Leman's example and apply it to your own life?  I recently got angry and threw something breakable.  It shattered to the floor and I started crying.  That is how I used to deal with anger and it has been over 10 years since I have done anything like that.  In that moment I felt like the addict who fell off the wagon, but Kevin's book helped me to see, while I relapsed, I have come a long way and I still have a long way to go. 

I need to use perspective to:

1. Encourage myself and shed light on the positive

2. Motivate myself to overcome obstacles in life

3. Rally other close friends to remind me to keep on the proper perspective path

Sometimes life does suck, but sometimes its all in our perspective and we can move forward when we re-position our thoughts. 

Let me leave you with one of my favorite quotes as encouragement in your perspective journey:

"A failure is NOT someone who fails, but someone who stops trying."  Jerry Bridges

You got this! Don't give up!!!

Spiritual Life - Facing Fear, A Journey

I stood in the Staples Center last October, not for a Laker game, but for the Hillsong Conference. As I stood and worshipped God, the song, "Oceans" ministered to me. It became my heart cry. You see a month earlier, God had started me on a journey to show me where I was and where I needed to be. I have seen through the last 6-9 months that if fear were a cancer, I would have only have minutes to live because I am riddled with fear. Yet despite that reality, I seek to be fear free. I seek to do just what Oceans says,

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters, wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wonder, and faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior."

In the fourth grade I remember having a vision from God. I saw a man in my vision with a camping backpack on looking out into a desert and I heard God say, "Carrie, this is you. I will lead you where you have never been before and where you never thought you could go." What I have learned since then is that word wasn't for me then, but was something for my future. God often gives us a word as a hope to hold on to in the journey. We can get discouraged thinking he's forgotten, but he hasn't. So when I sang this song, that vision came back to me and I felt like now was the time. Now was the time to venture out in faith. To seek God in new ways in my life. The obstacle in my way, was and is fear.

I know I am not alone.

Paul walked on water out to Jesus seeking Him, but getting distracted by fear. (Matthew 14)

Elijah came against 450 prophets of Baal (I Kings 18) and killed everyone. He saw fire come from heaven and was empowered by the strength of the Lord, then Jezebel threatened him and he fled. He was distracted by fear.

I have been brought back from the dead, healed from a vegetative state, healed of a rare blood disease, been protected during abusive situations, stood up against the enemy for countless people and seen victory and yet, I get distracted by fear.

Since September 2013 God has been revealing the degree to which I fear. It has astounded me. I really never saw it before at the magnitude that it stands in my life. I have seen how I love my life walking through a minefield of fear. Its debilitating! So I am seeking out to walk in faith and turn from fear. My first step has been recognizing my fear responses so I can replace those with faith responses. Its a glacial speed but I am still hopeful that I will be someone full of faith and rid of fear. Yet, I love the journey. One of my greatest fear facing challenges was seeing that God is like Amazon. I've discovered how crucial praising God is in this journey and the power of our words.

Recently, another area of fear was brought to my attention. Kevin Leman in his book, "Have A New Kid by Friday" discusses how procrastination is a symptom of, you guessed it, fear. He goes on to explain how children of perfectionistic parents often procrastinate as a method to avoid criticism and that the procrastination sets them up for failure and keeps them from moving forward in their lives. It was an eye opening read. As I read it I saw how I don't go for things out of fear. I become like a deer in headlights. I put off and put off, instead of facing it head on.

Maybe you can relate to my journey. I share my soul, not to get advice or as a cry for help, but in the hopes that those of you out there that share in my fear will see it for what it is, give your fears to God and seek to live a life of faith. Often in the journey of life we can get so good at masking our issues and fears that we can begin to feel isolated. We see beyond our mask but only see the mask of others and think, "Its just me struggling with this." But the truth is, we all have struggles and fears and in accepting it and running to God's truths we can find freedom. May you find the freedom from fear in your own life and see what a faith walk can really be like!