The Point of Church

Church.  Do you go? Statistics say most people don't anymore.  I have gone pretty much my whole life.  Some churches I've attended had pews, others had chairs and some even met in homes.  The building or the traditions really aren't the point.  Some people get stuck thinking those small details are crucial and they usually end up watching as their church become a sinking ship in a sea of  what once was.

What is the point of church?  Do we need to do it in a certain order? Do we need to all be together or kids in one room and adults in another?  Do we pass an offering plate or allow people to support the church via online website?  Do we sing a certain type of song or sing a certain number of songs?

The point of church has nothing to do with any of those questions, in fact when we say church, in truth, we aren't even talking about a building.

The Christian church is in fact, God's people.  Those who have chosen to accept Jesus as their Savior and work together as a body of believers.  We are the church.  I hear people all the time say something and either precede it or finish it with "I probably shouldn't say this in church," as we stand talking in the building we call "our church."  Obviously, its okay to still call the building church, but its important we know that we are the church.  Our bodies are temples for God's dwelling so the question should be about what we should do with our lives no matter where we are.

The point of church is really connection, worship of God and growing in Him.  That comes through songs and a message, but it also comes in a Bible study or small group setting.

This is an important distinction as we seek to make our "churches" places people in 2019 (soon to be 2020) will attend.

When we hold to tradition more than content, we are failing ourselves and those around us.  The content is what is important.

I recently had a discussion with a few different people on kids in church.  Many older than me feel kids need to be sitting in church with their parents during the service, and quite frankly, if a parent feels that way about their child, then I am not going to disagree.  That is their right as the parent, but I actually have a different perspective.  I want my kids to fall in love with Jesus.  I want them to learn about him, but also connect with him.  My relationship with him is not theirs' so to expect them just to carbon copy my experience is not only ill-informed, its naive.  For my kids to continue going to church, they don't need to see how I do it, and watch me sing along with worship songs or take notes, during a sermon.  They will see my faith every other day in real life.  That is what makes the impact.  I want them to learn as little kids on their level and build on that, so when its time to be in a church service next to me or in their own church as adults, they have the foundation to build on and can be seeking to grow on their own because it matters to them.

I have a relationship with God because I learned the basics, studied the Bible on my own and because I talk to God as an active part of my life.  I talk to God throughout the day and that was because I learned to as a kid.

I don't want my kids to get good at sitting in a pew (or row of chairs), but I want them to be good at going to God and knowing who he is and who he made them to be.

We do need each other and that is why church is so important.  We need to be solid on the foundations of Bible knowledge, and we need to be acting like the body of Christ, all working together as we each do our part, but how that is accomplished on a Sunday morning, really is more about the people gathering than it is about tradition.

We live in a different world than the one I grew up in, and we need to do things differently to reach and care for those around us.

If you go to church, why do you go?  Have you ever asked, "what is the point," in connection with the aspects of your worship service?  Are there things that have become more important to you  than the point?  If you don't go, and you consider yourself a Christian, do you know why you don't go?  It is important that we go deeper and ask the questions.  We need to understand the patterns of our daily living and choices.   Only then can we grow.

The Core of the Christian Faith

 I am not afraid of encountering and processing human emotion.   If someone is planning a tear jerker, they are aiming at me.  I am bawling at those golden buzzer, NBA back story, triumphant underdog kind of moments.  I love getting invested in the people around me.  Here's the thing.  A lot of people out there, see religion as another talisman, emotional feelings, riding the energy wave, kind of experience.  It looks like a lot of hype without much substance.  Do they have a point?  Or are those skeptics off base?

I became a Christian when I was four years old.  I was in my Pre-K class learning about the letter I, "Itchy Ivy" was the character on the letter.  My teacher told us about Jesus and I accepted him in my heart.  I even remember going home and telling my mom all about it.

Do you want to know why I am a Christian?  I could answer that I have had a ton of encounters with Jesus in my own life.  I could answer that I was raised in a Christian home, which would also be accurate.  I could also answer that I believe in the Bible, which is correct. Even though all of those are answers I could have, they aren't the reason I am a Christian. I am a Christian because its true.  Sure I've gotten caught up in a worship night filled with Cory Asbury and Hillsong, but I've also researched beyond the feelings.

My life has had its hard times and it has forced me to question God.  At one point in my life, I even told God, "I was going to take control of my life," and I did - the results were NOT good!  Feelings aren't enough to sustain a faith in God, more specifically Jesus Christ.  You need more.  It has to be more than the overwhelming emotion after a moving set of worship music.  Without substance, it wouldn't work.  It wouldn't last.

I have studied the historical data and discovered for myself that the facts point to Jesus being who he said he was.  History proves he was a real person.  He made claims he was God and the evidence that is out there, shows, he truly was (and is) God.  If you want to know more, let me know.  I am happy to answer more questions or point you toward some resources that have helped me over the years. For now, because this month's topic is "back to the basics" I will just share some hallmarks of the Christian faith. 

We were born into a world that degenerates.  People aren't naturally good.  Just look at the news and see things are getting worse, not better.  Christians call this bad thing, sin.  Sin separates us from God. The best picture for me of this is two people trying to hug while holding suitcases.  The baggage gets in the way.  Sin is sin.

Sure, you may go to prison for more years if you murdered someone than if you stole a drugstore candy bar, but wrong is wrong.  Too often we get caught in the trap of justifying what we are doing wrong because we see the person next to us doing something we deem far worse.  Missing the mark is missing the mark.  If I jump from one cliff to another, and I miss the other cliff by a mile or a millimeter, it doesn't matter, I will be plunging to my death in both scenarios.

God (including Jesus) made us.  He wanted a relationship with us and when sin got in the way of that, he made a way for us to still have that relationship.

Christians believe in one God (its called monotheism).  We do see him in three persons that we call the Trinity.  Many look at the Trinity and think we are polytheists and that Christians believe in 3 Gods, but that isn't true.  Nabeel Qureshi, shared in his books and in this video that best way for him, a Muslim converted to Christianity, understanding the Trinity was simply about "what" and "who."  God is one being in three persons.  Being is the what and persons is the who. 

It can be hard to understand because I am Carrie and I am a human being, which means that I am one in being and one in person, but God is actually one in being and three in persons.  We call them God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.  Jesus was God sent to us in human person.  He was still God, and the Holy Spirit is the person of God that stays with us once we accept Jesus.  Jesus came to the world to be a sacrifice for us. He gave his life in exchange for us.   If you owe $10,000 on your credit card, and you didn't have it, someone pays the bill so you don't have to.

After Jesus died on a cross, he came back to life and wants a relationship with us, his creation.  He offers us life if we believe in him as God.  This is much like someone who falls off a boat is offered a life raft to help them swim to safety.  God didn't come into the world to condemn but to save it.

The number one rule of Christianity is love.  If you want a definition of that word check out I Corinthians 13.  We are to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.  Part of that love is sharing the good news of Jesus with others and helping them connect with him and grow closer.

Being a Christian means admitting you don't know it all and receiving Jesus as our Lord and Savior, which just means we will live serving and following him.  We do have to surrender our lives to him, but like I said before, doing life on my terms, actually produced worse results than when I followed God.

Baptism isn't necessary to be a Christian but its a great faith step that helps us to not only publicly acknowledge we are serving God, but also is a great symbolic act of being washed by God's sacrifice on the cross.

Its a step by step walk through life with the Creator of the Universe and beyond.  He isn't out to make you someone you aren't, but instead to show you how to be the you he made you to be.  The best version of yourself and the person who can best love the world around them.  I am in awe how God continues to reveal areas I can still grow.  I love it.  I want to be the best me, I can be.  I spent years of my life ashamed of who I was, but God actually made me with purpose.  He made you that way too!  

If you have questions on any of this, let me know.  If I forgot something, I want to hear about that too.  I tried being concise (which is not my strong suit) and also share all the basic points.  So here you have it.  If you have gotten complicated in your religious views, maybe its time to simplify.  Study why the Bible is true, get to the core beliefs and understand what God wants to unfold in your life.

Which Prayer Are You Praying?

Ever learn a lesson, be excited to learn it, only to find you are immediately tested in it?

Recently, I attended a conference with some amazing speakers.  It was in a breakout session that I was introduced to P. Brian Noble from Peacemaker Ministries.  I could write at least a dozen blog posts and videos just from the information he shared alone.  Dealing with tension in our lives and in our world in a healthy manner is a necessary skill set that is in danger of extinction in the United States in 2018.

Prayer is something I talk about a lot so a distinction he made on prayer, caught my attention. He identified two types of prayer - faith prayer and fear prayer.  As he described the difference, I sat in humility as I realized I am often guilty of praying fear prayers.  What are faith and fear prayers?

Faith prayers recognize the goodness of God, and state that, as we seek to follow God, in the midst of a world that is less than perfect and often filled with pain.  If the purpose of prayer is tuning into God's heart and seeking him in the process of life, then faith prayer is the best way to accomplish this.   So if this is faith prayer, then fear prayer is just the opposite and this is where I was tested.

Sunday morning our group woke up and we headed to the beach before going to church.  As we drove over a speed bump in the beach parking lot, my check engine light clicked on.  I was instantly freaking out.  Fear is a reflex that seems to be first at bat in my mind when life happens. I immediately was worried about not making it home with a van full of teenagers.

I started to start the "please God help..." but then I remembered what I had learned.  Fear prayers come out of panic,  and its a reflex knee jerk to life that has us questioning God and his goodness.  Its almost like saying, "uh oh, God, you dropped the ball and now I'm in trouble, rescue me and do your job."

Instead I said, "Lord, I am fearful right now, and I confess it to you.  You knew this would happen and I've been praying for this trip so I know you will grant me the wisdom to know how to proceed. Lord, thank you for all you are doing and help me to stand in a place of faith instead of running to fear."

Fear stood next to me but I continued to tell it no! I called my husband and discovered by talking with him and a mechanic at our church that as long as it wasn't driving differently and the light wasn't flashing, I should be able to make the three-hour drive home.  No matter the outcome, God had it.  He had a plan and I had to make a choice:

Would I trust him or would I live in fear? I chose to trust him.

Which prayer are you praying?  Can you think of a time you prayed a fear prayer?  How could you change it to be a faith prayer?  Thanking God for what his already doing and asking him to help you to walk it are a great faith prayer in any situation.  Sure, its hard when we stand in ruin or loss, to say, "God is good," but it is true. Truth is always the best place to start in life because it leads to a path of peace.  God is bigger than what we face.  The outcome may not always be what we hoped for, but he never leaves us and always works our best in the midst of pain and heartache. I am praying for you as you allow God to teach you his truths.  God bless.  Happy Wednesday!

4 Things I Know...That I Don't Really Know

Sunday morning before heading to church, I got a call.  The news on the other end shocked me.  A woman at church, who I had just seen, had a heart attack and died the night before.  She wasn't young, but I still didn't see it coming.  She was making plans for upcoming events, trips with her husband, we had even just discussed food for a Christmas Event later this year.  The news of her death seemed surreal.  I can tell you, her death isn't the first one to take me off-guard either. 

Having this reaction got me thinking.  You see I know: 

1. Life is Short -

I know there is no guarantee for the days we are given. That is a truth I know, that I know, that I know and yet when the reality of this truth hits me in the face, I am reminded, I actually live life as if it will keep going as it always does, without recognizing we never know what is really around the corner.

As I contemplated the vast chasm between a fact I knew in my head and acted out in my life,  I wondered, what other truths do I know that apparently, I don't really know? 

Here are some others that came to mind:  

2.  Life Isn't Fair -

I know good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people.  I know just because I deserve something, it doesn't mean I will get it because life isn't fair and yet when I am faced with a situation that is definitely unfair, I am forced to reckon myself to a truth that I have suddenly forgotten. 

This reminder hits me once a week when I watch American Ninja Warrior with my son.  Here are competitors who train all year for this event, and yet, one slip of the foot on the first obstacle can take down even the most seasoned athlete.   

3.  I Have Absolutely No Control  -

Similar to the first two items, I often find myself in an anxious mess over hurdles in life because I have bought into the deceptive lie that by worrying, I can affect the outcome of anything in life. I have no control over a million things that can influence my life.

This truth seems to resonate pretty strongly through our country right now as people face evacuation from their homes in hurricanes and fires.  You drive away, after doing what you can to protect your home, without guarantee all will be well when you return.  One can't control a natural disaster or the obscene amount of traffic you encounter on your exit or reentry after the storm.  

Lack of control does not just touch us in disastrous circumstances; it also touches us in the every day world - rush hour traffic, repairman wait times, your toddler's behavior, a spouse walking out, your cable going out at the exact moment its supposed to tape your favorite show, losing a loved one to an accident or disease.  From momentous to the mundane, we have NO control over so many outside influences that affect our lives.  That can be a scary reality.  

4.  God is in Control -

Here's the great news I often (way too often) forget.  Not only is there a God in control, but he is a good God.  When life goes sideways and I experience one of the above, I can eventually find solace in this truth (you know, once I stop trying to be God in my own life).

Isaiah 55:8-9 reminds us that God sees and knows things we cannot comprehend.  He sees the full picture and regardless of what is happening in the moment - he's got it.  There are moments when this reality hits me like a two-by-four, as I find myself comparing reality with what I would do if I were God.

I don't see all He does so my decision will always be based on limited information.   I may one day understand why he did what he did in a particular situation but I also may never know this side of heaven. 

Truthfully, this list could continue on indefinitely, because as human beings, I find putting beliefs into practice can be easier said than done.  I just hope as you read this list, you will examine your own belief gaps and seek the truth you need to narrow that gap - if even just a bit. 

Find encouragement today in whatever mess you find yourself in, because you are not alone.  The rest of us humans are floundering too, like fish out of water.  We don't have to have it all together or be the best, we just have to continue to seek God and live a life that takes the best out of each moment.  There are no guarantees and just because we fail to recognize truth, doesn't change it from being true.  Happy Wednesday! 

What Are You Fighting For?

Yesterday, I learned another marriage I respected went down in flames.  You know how I felt?  I felt angry.  

We have settled as a Christian community, on our standard of marriage and allowed divorce, when the Bible is clear - divorce is wrong.  Divorce is something that completely sucks. Yes, I know its 2017, but that truth still rings true today!  There are situations when divorce is necessary, but this blog is not addressing the special circumstance divorce - too many people simply don’t “feel” it anymore and just move on. 

But you can’t just move on.  

Marriage is two pieces of paper, glued together, and when the glue has dried those papers can’t be separated.  When we divorce, its rips us apart.  When you add children to the ripping, its an even greater tragedy. 

In light of this, I have some truth bombs to drop: 

1. Marriage isn’t easy.  

I know that couple that posts their lovey dovey Instagram pictures about finding their soul mate and enjoying another day of their perfect life, and I’m sure you do too.  It can lead us to believe that the perfect marriage exists, but no marriage is perfect.  Social media is our best; we don’t post the bad days.  I’m married and I can say, marriage is HARD!!!!! 

2. Marriage is something to fight for!  

 

Marriage isn’t just about a love feeling.  It is a spiritual union.  It is a way to seek God on a whole new level.  When we come together as a married couple we can fight against the enemy.  Satan is real and he is out to take you down any way he can.  Marriage is just one of those ways.  

I love my marriage and my husband, but we are stronger because of the battles we have faced and overcame, not the romantic moments shared with a hashtag.  Kevin and I have come against a lot in our 14 years together.  I compare our journey to climbing to the peak of Mt. Everest with my climbing partner and celebrate the fact that we survived! 

Those challenges have made me a stronger wife, woman and child of God.  Sure, I’ve wanted to quit, but quitting doesn’t do anyone any good. There are beautiful moments and you have to hang onto them when you reach a storm, but the storm is normal and don’t forget you made a commitment.  Learning to stand strong and persevere grows character muscles we need and need to pass on to our children.  

3. You Didn’t Marry the Wrong Person  

If you married them, guess what, they are the right person.  God has a plan and if you trust him and follow his instructions, it will work out.  We aren’t here to be the happiest people on earth.  Happiness is great, but fleeting.  We are here to be holy and to become closer with our Creator.  Instead of seeing the greener grass in another person, see the beauty in your mate.  Get help if you need it, but refocus on what first drew you to them.  

4. Divorce is destructive.  

As a child of divorce, I can tell you my parents’ divorce, hurt me.  I don’t blame them or hold them in contempt of any kind.  God met me in my hurt and brought healing to me, he gave me compassion for others facing the same reality and gave me a place to pray.  But I never got God’s best, because divorce breaks the family.  Kids get shuffled and even in the best arrangements it messes with a kids identity and security.  

5.  Staying Married Isn’t Enough

If you are in a difficult marriage, its not enough to just stay unhappily married - you must pull up your sleeves and get to work.  My greatest tool in marriage, and in life, has been prayer.  When I pray for my husband, God’s work in him will benefit every aspect of his life including our marriage.  You must do whatever it takes to save your marriage and allow it to thrive.  

6. Just Because Your Spouse Has Quit, Doesn’t Mean Its Over

Some people don’t have a choice, their spouse left them and they are stuck in this new reality.  Others face a spouse with addiction or infidelity and in those moments we need to be strong in prayer and boundaries but we can’t give up!  Continue to pray because you never know what can happen.  I’ve seen people separate while one works on personal issues so that they could save their marriage, and I’ve seen people continue to pray and believe in God’s best in the midst of a spouse choosing to walk away.  

A great friend of mine said it best when she said: “In the end, its not really about marriage; it comes down to how much do you trust God?”  

Faith isn’t looking into the face of reality, its looking into hopelessness and speaking God’s truth, despite reality.  God is bigger than your marriage - do you trust him to save it? An easy life is fun but its not the richest life, and when we fail to fight for what really matters we lose - every time!

Spiritual Life - Did You Hear Me?

In the past 4 months we've had to replace our oven, built in microwave, ceiling fan, air conditioner and had to get our washer fixed.  In the same time frame, we also have a newly acquired mountain of medical bills as a result of two family surgeries and the birth of our beautiful baby girl. 

Before I continue let's rewind a bit.  I grapple with anxiety, and as a girl who grew up with financial struggles, I see a great deal of anxiety show up when it comes to finances. I noticed a couple of years ago that while I would never categorize myself as a hoarder, I held onto items in my home out of fear of being without.  Over the past year I invited God to meet me in the midst of my anxiety and have been blessed with a plethora of examples of his love and provision! I've let things go that I didn't need so God could use what I had to provide for others.

He has shown me what it really means to receive our "daily bread" as needs are met at the moment of need. In this time, God has been training me to trust him by showing that he takes care of me. My eyes must remain on him and not on the trial before me. In the time of training, God provided a bed when we needed one for our son, but didn't have the money, he provided the furniture needed to move our office into the living room so we could make room for a baby. My 15 year old vehicle that I had owned for 12 years was getting close to its expiration date and wouldn't hold our family with a new baby. We had no money for a new car, but when my grandma passed away, my parents shared the inheritance with us and it was just enough to get the 2012 van that now sits in our garage. God showed up and said, "I've got this." 

In that time, our budgeting efforts compliments of Dave Ramsey provided our family with a nice cushion in our checking account, which was amazing considering before we started Financial Peace University, we often ran into the next pay period check, sometimes finding our account was overdrawn. I felt secure with extra money in the checking account. I loved seeing God provide.

But I also felt anxious because I knew what was coming: a test! 

 
Its not enough to say I can trust God, I have to show him I do. Back to reality of 4 months with constant repairs and medical bill mayhem and I can tell you that cushion in our checking account went away and I realized my security couldn't rest in what I had in the bank, but in God. I realized my test had arrived and God would be asking, "Did you hear me?" For a year he had been telling me he had this. Its easy to trust when there is money in the bank and everything is getting paid.

 
. 

 Two weeks ago I sat at the kitchen counter trying to figure out the budget. I called our doctor's office and was told I couldn't just make the $50 payment I had budgeted but would have to pay the full $250 or we would be turned away next time we arrived. Then to add insult to injury, they informed me a $400 bill was processing and would come my way any day now. I then called the hospital and was told the $1,150 I had paid in the past 3 months wasn't enough to keep me out of collections. The lab where one of our post surgery results was processed informed me I could only make 6 payments and my current payment of $25 was not enough to pay off the bill in 6 payments. Even with my debt snowball, it wasn't enough. I began to feel overwhelmed and was headed toward an anxiety attack. Did I still believe God when the medical bill collectors were calling and our budget sheet started showing a $500 deficit? The tears were ready to burst through when I remembered what I had learned. I stopped and said, "Yes, Lord, I hear you! I praise you for your provisions and will continue to do my part knowing, you've got this!" I don't know how God will do it, but I chose in that moment to praise him for what I could not yet see.

The good news is, I can be done with fear. I have let it control my life for too long and I know learning to walk by faith NOT by sight, will be live changing. Do you see fear or faith when you look out into your life?

Its a decision and then a bunch of choses to follow that decision despite what you feel or see. Eventually fear will go away. It will have no choice when you have reprogrammed your life with faith. Let's do this!

Spiritual Life - Facing Fear, A Journey

I stood in the Staples Center last October, not for a Laker game, but for the Hillsong Conference. As I stood and worshipped God, the song, "Oceans" ministered to me. It became my heart cry. You see a month earlier, God had started me on a journey to show me where I was and where I needed to be. I have seen through the last 6-9 months that if fear were a cancer, I would have only have minutes to live because I am riddled with fear. Yet despite that reality, I seek to be fear free. I seek to do just what Oceans says,

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters, wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wonder, and faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior."

In the fourth grade I remember having a vision from God. I saw a man in my vision with a camping backpack on looking out into a desert and I heard God say, "Carrie, this is you. I will lead you where you have never been before and where you never thought you could go." What I have learned since then is that word wasn't for me then, but was something for my future. God often gives us a word as a hope to hold on to in the journey. We can get discouraged thinking he's forgotten, but he hasn't. So when I sang this song, that vision came back to me and I felt like now was the time. Now was the time to venture out in faith. To seek God in new ways in my life. The obstacle in my way, was and is fear.

I know I am not alone.

Paul walked on water out to Jesus seeking Him, but getting distracted by fear. (Matthew 14)

Elijah came against 450 prophets of Baal (I Kings 18) and killed everyone. He saw fire come from heaven and was empowered by the strength of the Lord, then Jezebel threatened him and he fled. He was distracted by fear.

I have been brought back from the dead, healed from a vegetative state, healed of a rare blood disease, been protected during abusive situations, stood up against the enemy for countless people and seen victory and yet, I get distracted by fear.

Since September 2013 God has been revealing the degree to which I fear. It has astounded me. I really never saw it before at the magnitude that it stands in my life. I have seen how I love my life walking through a minefield of fear. Its debilitating! So I am seeking out to walk in faith and turn from fear. My first step has been recognizing my fear responses so I can replace those with faith responses. Its a glacial speed but I am still hopeful that I will be someone full of faith and rid of fear. Yet, I love the journey. One of my greatest fear facing challenges was seeing that God is like Amazon. I've discovered how crucial praising God is in this journey and the power of our words.

Recently, another area of fear was brought to my attention. Kevin Leman in his book, "Have A New Kid by Friday" discusses how procrastination is a symptom of, you guessed it, fear. He goes on to explain how children of perfectionistic parents often procrastinate as a method to avoid criticism and that the procrastination sets them up for failure and keeps them from moving forward in their lives. It was an eye opening read. As I read it I saw how I don't go for things out of fear. I become like a deer in headlights. I put off and put off, instead of facing it head on.

Maybe you can relate to my journey. I share my soul, not to get advice or as a cry for help, but in the hopes that those of you out there that share in my fear will see it for what it is, give your fears to God and seek to live a life of faith. Often in the journey of life we can get so good at masking our issues and fears that we can begin to feel isolated. We see beyond our mask but only see the mask of others and think, "Its just me struggling with this." But the truth is, we all have struggles and fears and in accepting it and running to God's truths we can find freedom. May you find the freedom from fear in your own life and see what a faith walk can really be like!

Spirtual Life - Fear verses Faith

This past weekend, I was at Hartland Christian Camp doing a workshop for their women's conference. I was excited for a great conference and weekend but also a little anxious about being away from my son for 2 nights straight (that may sound silly, but I've never done it). Of course he and I were fine and I did have a great weekend. Because I've done a seminar for them for the past 6 years or so, I have come to know some of the women that regularly attend. So they are my Hartland friends and its nice to see them!

But the weekend presented me with a little more than I'd anticipated. The speaker, Rhea Briscoe, said some things that really puzzle pieced with stuff God has been using to speak to my heart. A few things she said really resonated with me and I had a few light bulb moments. She made reference to Matthew 28:18 which begins the Great Commission and tells us that God has all the power in heaven and earth. Then she asked, "So if God has all the power, how much power does Satan have?" The answer: an obvious zero! He has no real power. He controls me at times with no power, that's crazy right?!

So how does he control us without power? By lying! Yep, he tells us things that aren't true through our inner voice, other people in our lives, the internet, television, movies, music and a lot of other media formats. We in turn, believe the lies, begin to walk in them and in fear and boom (wow, just had a flashback to the movie Couples Retreat), we are in bondage.

In seeing this cycle I realized a few areas of my life where I am walking in fear. I had believed lies of the enemy and was walking that instead of faith and freedom in Christ. I need Jesus and need to bathe in his truth more than I do. I need to stop listening to the enemy and standing up because Matthew 28 goes on to tell us that as believers all his power has been given to us! Hallelujah and Amen!

Somewhere deep inside I feel I should shout, "I'm not Josie Grossie anymore," but I will refrain :). It makes since though right, because God is truth and in him who is also love, there is no fear. He sacrificed his life for us on the cross and we have live in freedom because of his great love. Fear comes from lies. So if you are walking in fear, you are believing lies.

I really have to hand it to Satan for being so crafty. I mean he's really taken us to a new level of fear and lies and has made his job easier by the invention of the internet and cable television. He no longer has to lie to individuals and hope those around them perpetuate it, but he lies in mass production. However, with that said, I am taking my power back and telling him, "no thank you." No more! I am standing on the promises of God and walking by faith. I am dedicating more consistent time to prayer and praise and Bible Study.

One of the things that God has impressed on me in the last month is the importance of praise (I will talk about this in another entry, but the result of all of this is a new step I am taking in my life. In the morning before the day starts and we begin to get going, we sit and use you tube videos with lyrics to sing praises to God. Our own musical worship moment to praise the Lord and invite him into our day. This has been awesome and I'm so glad I'm doing it.

So I leave you with a question: Are you walking in faith of the promises of scripture in God's word or are you living in fear from the lies you believe to be true? Cut the lies out of your life, replace them with the truth of the Bible, stop walking in fear and begin walking by faith! Don't let insults get you down, they are lies. You are beautiful, wonderful and made with purpose :).

Give God entry into all areas of your life! 2 Corinthians 3:17 tells us where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom!

"I'm not Josie Grossie anymore!" (Never Been Kissed)

Continued Faith in the Midst of Grief

Faith is a powerful tool in one's spiritual tool box. Knowing what its used for and what it is and what it is not will allow it be the most useful tool out there. Today I was met with seeing what you hoped for not come true and yet still filled with faith in a God who is what he says he is. Its being able to thank God in the midst of sheer heartache and still hope in future dreams. I am sad because today I learned that this pregnancy isn't going to happen. The baby has stopped developing and we no longer hear a heart beat. While it is still partially in my body, its soul has gone to be with the Lord. After my dream last week, I have decided to name this miscarried baby, Danielle. I now have 2 babies in heaven and still hope to have one on this earth. I still long to carry a baby to term and hold it in my arms and watch it grow. I still believe that God will allow that to happen, but for now I grieve the loss I am experiencing and pray God will get me through it. Its easy to lose hope, but I choose to believe in a God that has all under control and has perfect timing. In Isaiah 55:8-9 tells us that Gods thoughts and ways are not like ours and are higher than ours. God knows what he is doing, and I trust in that. I cannot know the mind of Christ for me in this painful situation and honestly painful time as I have faced a lot of heartache with others in my family and close friends. I can honestly say I am tired of death and heartache, but I don't have control over what I face, just how I face it. So I choose to walk in faith even in this time of sadness and grief. The tears will abound, but the heart will remain strong.

The Faith Process

Hebrews 11 - Tells us that "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." This is sentence is easier to say than it is to live out. But today I began to see it bearing real fruit in my life.

I was married 4 years ago last month. I married a wonderful man who has experienced a lot of life, something I am very familiar with myself. It was God that brought two people together who are 16 years apart in age. Having been previously married my husband brought two almost grown children into our marriage. I came into the marriage with only an abortion in my past wanting desperately for children of my own.

My husband had a vasectomy in his previous marriage which would need to be reversed. We went into the reversal surgery already with 2 years of marriage under our belt and were only promised a 50% chance of success. I was believing God for a miracle as the surgery alone cost us the rest of our savings at the time, but with each month of a period my hopes for a baby was crashing. I told God I trusted him no matter regardless of his plan for me, and even though I felt I wanted a baby more than anything, what I most wanted was his will for my life.

Almost two years passed with no sign of pregancy. But I continued to persist in prayer and put my trust in God. Last month I discovered I was pregnant and was bewildered and excited all at once. It was something that didn't feel real, but it was in fact happening. I cried with gratitude to the Lord and called everyone on planet earth with the news.

The story now brings us to present day "Carrie Life" and a few weeks ago I began to have bleeding, something that can be normal with some women in pregnancy, but as a precaution I was sent to have blood tests and an early ultrasound. All tests came back saying things looked good, until yesterday. I went for my first official doctors visit and after the ultrasound the doctor told my husband and myself that he was 98% sure I was having a miscarriage. The ultrasound machine he was using was older so there was a chance a different machine would be more assuring and I could just be early in my pregnancy than suspected. So I was asked to go into get another ultrasound today.

I left the office last night upset but determined to have faith. I put it before God that I would always stand by Job 1:21 - "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, may the name of the Lord be praised." No matter what the outcome I would praise God because He is in control and He is Lord. He has a plan and I will always put my trust in that instead of what is before me in life. I chose, despite the thoughts that tried to bombard me with discouragement and doubt, to stand by God in faith believing that 98% "No" in human language was not too much for my God. I chose to walk in faith and trust God to do anything. As I slept last night a familiar song filled my head. Its called, "He's Never Failed Me," and the lyrics truly inspire confidence in God. I awoke and read about the Fiery Furnance in Daniel chapter 3 and decided to give all glory to God despite the outcome, and regardless of any news this morning I felt like I had been successful in having faith. I felt my believe in God permeate my being and live out in my actions. I was walking in the "substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

I went in for the ultrasound this morning and while I have not yet heard from the doctor, I know I saw a sack and fetal pole and heard a heart beat. The nurse said I appear to be more like 6 weeks than 9 weeks, and I am confident God provided a miracle for me. I receive this amazing gift not only of a baby, but also of faith.

Free by Faith

This summer I took a group of teens to an adventure camp in Northern California. On our week there we were able to apply our theme verse and it has been something that has stuck with me ever since. Our verse was 2 Corinthians 5:7 which tells us to "walk by faith, not by sight." Sounds simple enough, but that one short phrase meant so much more as we rafted down Class III rapids and scaled a steep ridge with no harness. My words were tested as I had to walk out what I was teaching the teens. My fear of water was tested that day on the raft, but I knew my only choice was to show the group how to trust those who are trustworthy. Despite my inclination to run from this opportunity, I embraced it as not to be a hypocrite before those I was attempting to teach. It was a wonderful rewarding experience for me.

As I said, this verse wasn't a one time lesson that got left back at camp, but one that has stayed with me as a sacred companion. Last night in my time with God I was reminded, not of this verse, but of this truth. Faith is what is counted to us as righteousness. Faith is what marks our journey, not merely our actions. We read in I Corinthians that our works will be tested by the fire and it is our heart, that only God sees, that tests these actions. Some of our actions seen to others as "righteous works" will be consumed and come out as worthless.

I look at a generation of teens that are consumed with busyness. They fill their calendars with afterschool activities, sports, and clubs. They try to find their identity in the groups they busy themselves with, and that aren't alone. They have taken this cue from the overworked, stress cases they call their parents and mentors. They see adults fitting a new activity in each night of the week and running from one activity to the next. Why are we doing so much and what is the purpose behind it? Are we stopping to ask God before we step?

I propose of new way of life, even for those of us in full-time ministry. I propose we begin to "walk by faith and not by sight." I am suggesting that each step we take in our life or our daily planner gets put before the throne, because it is God's job to direct our steps. Even good things may not be what God has planned for us. Some of us (I live in this camp) try to save the world, but it wasn't us who came to save, but Jesus. We are mere servants doing his bidding, and in that we must acknowledge that He is the one with the daily planner for all. Sometimes some of us who do it all are taking the joy God has planned for others to get involved in the process, and when we take their job, we stand in their way.

Think about the stressfree life that could await you if you only took a moment to ask God what his direction was. Learn to tune in with the voice of God and not just the voice of ministry. Be free from obligation because you are doing the work God has put before you, not what others demand of you. Let your belief in Christ been seen in the way you live your life, for that is the true test of what you believe. Ideas in the head are just that when they aren't acted out in our lives. Faith needs to be more about action and direction of Christ then a philosophical point of view. It is practical application. Be free through faith.