The Toddler Vibe

Ironically, I began writing this before our world got flipped upside-down with COVID-19.  It just seemed to become even more relevant afterwards.  So here is a mix of what I started writing few months ago with edits and additions today.

It started with a conversation I had with friends (face-to-face - do you remember when we could do that). One of them has an almost adult child that has had a ton of crazy stuff thrown her way.  My friend is trying to navigate parenting and is facing some major challenges.  As we discussed, another friend mentioned that maybe the challenge they faced was there because it was the only thing that she could control.

If you've had children or are around them, you know, that toddlers tend to cause problems in areas of food and potty.  Why?  Because that is what they can control.  Life is pretty much in the control of everyone around them, and powerless is a hard feeling.  You don't need years on earth to figure that one out, it seems just baked in from birth.  

Very little in life is in our control.  When life is going well, we can trick ourselves into believing we are in control, but even the most disciplined person faces obstacles they have little to no control over.  

Sickness, financial changes, loss, weather, crime...all of these things, and more, are things that we can't control.  We work to do what we can to help lesson the damage or cushion against the hardship headed our way, but truly eliminating trials just isn't an option.

Crazy just how true that is, now that we are all quarantined in our homes.  Truly knowing the hard feeling of powerlessness, is real for so many of us.  You may find yourself grasping for what you can control or throwing toddler-like fits over little things just because they are all you have left to hold onto right now.  Maybe you now have a toddler at home and are face to face with constant fits with no breaks because they don't understand why we can't go anywhere.

So how have you adopted your own toddler vibe?  All of this has shown me just how controlling I am.  I have my ways for grocery shopping and getting life done and all of they craziness in stores has disrupted that and I don't like it.  I've organized photos, DVD's, CD's etc because, sure, I'm not going anywhere, but mainly because its something I can control.

What does the toddler vibe show us?  I think when we understand it fully we can take a step back and look at our lives.

We can acknowledge the loss in our circumstances and grieve that loss.

We can create new rules and expectations for the current reality.

Then we can focus on what we can control.

Right now, I can avoid getting sucked into the drama and fear surrounding me, be informed and respond, rather than react.  I can be intentional with my time and focus on the beauty in slowing down.  I can have a good attitude in the face of hardship and nasty attitudes, because my attitude is something I can always control.  I can enjoy the beauty of my family and extra time with my kids before they get so big and grow up that I won't have them anymore.  I can reminisce about life in the 80's before the internet.  A lot of things weren't perfect then, but life was slower and that was better for us.

So now its your turn?  What in your life, whether COVID-19 or other life related, is out of your control?  What are you grasping for?  What do you need to grieve and how can you refocus?  What can you control?

Let's be honest, this sucks!  I'm not always sure its being handled the best way, and even the experts can't agree, but I can lean into God.  He's always in control.

This being Easter week, I got some great perspective because last Sunday being Palm Sunday, was a celebration.   As Jesus entered the city, people were out to honor him.  He was thought to be the promised Messiah  (which he was), but their expectation of what the promised Messiah would do and what we actually did, didn't coincide.  So when he was sent to die, they turned on him and instead of shouting, "Hosannah," they shouted, "Crucify Him!"  I guess that was their own toddler vibe.

But God hadn't disappointed them.  He wasn't doing what they were asking for and yet he was doing so much more.  By dying on the cross he became the last sacrifice needed.  He gave his life for us.  No more sacrifices needed.  He was and is the way!  But he didn't stay dead, he arose!!!  He was and is alive.  Whether we are congregated in our homes or in buildings we call churches, we are still the church and maybe this change in tradition can give us some fresh perspective on what Easter really means!  God bless each of you! 

Why THIS is so Hard

2001 was the year I graduated from college.  I'm gonna be honest, the fact that I'm turning 42 at the end of this year and that college graduation was 19 years ago, seems surreal.  

After college I came to Visalia for the summer and stayed with my dad and step mom.  I assisted the youth pastor at the church before heading to Colorado that August for a one-year Discipleship Training Program.  This was not the normal Bible training, because most of the experience was working as live-in help at a residential care facility for troubled teens.  

To say that it was a hard year is seriously an understatement.  Immediately, it was hard.  The training we received two weeks before moving into the house, couldn't come close to preparing me for what I was in for, but that could be said of getting married and having children as well.  We never know what something takes until we actually do it.  

My first moments on duty were hearing someone making noises in the bathroom and going in to find a girl had snuck in a razor blade and was cutting.  We definitely hit the ground running!  Each day we got Bible training while the teens were in school and we met with the on-staff counselors.  The beauty of that experience was, we had a plethora of encounters each day to offer up and get help on how to be better.  

It was also intense because we were on 24 hours a day, 6 and a half days a week.  You read that right.  We each got 12 hours off a week, that was it.  We were bound to the property, except for weekly trips to Costco, that a few got to go on each week, or any other outings that were part of the program.  

I always tell people it was experience that I wouldn't take out of my life, but I'd never do again.  It was hard on so many levels.  Being stuck in one place means you can't run from challenges or things you want to avoid.  I remember watching the daytime staff drive off one evening and wishing I could go too, being in the same place practically every day for a year was a intense.  The good news was, I wasn't alone.  We had plenty of interaction with everyone living there, care staff and residents, and I do feel like now, 19 years later, I'm connected with those people in a unique way, because we went through it together.  

I jokingly posted to those friends last week (I think it was last week) about how we should be experts in this COVID-19 quarantine because we've done this before.  Then I found myself leaving the grocery store in tears, because I remembered the hardship it was to lose your freedom.  I shouted out to God as I left the parking lot, "I told you, I didn't want to do this again!"

Yes, there is beauty in this shelter in place season, but comparing it to my year at Shelterwood has had me doing some soul searching into why it was so hard. Here are some of my thoughts and really some food for thought for us all as we navigate this challenging time.  

1. Loss of freedom - As Americans we can for the most part do whatever, whenever we want.  Yes, there are rules but when compared to other, less free, nations, they are fairly easy to live within and give us a lot of decision making ability.  So to be told to stay home and to cut ourselves off from the world, without any say in the matter, feels foreign.  It's a hard place to be.  Lack of control is challenging to say the least.  

2. Loss of interaction - I love the Holderness Family, and they said they hated the term "social distancing," because really its "physical distancing,"  we are still social online, and with those in our family, but we can't have physical interaction with people in our lives.  Nothing like a quarantine to show you just how many people you encounter everyday.  Hugs, handshakes, fist bumps, close conversations, lunches out, coffee dates are just some of the ways we engage with people, daily.  Obviously, the extroverts like myself, have a much greater list, but that human contact feeds an emotional need.  We aren't just physical beings, we have a soul and we have needs that go into the emotional and spiritual realm.  Losing some of that does affect us, maybe even more than we ever realized.  

3. Loss of time and purpose - Do you know what day or date it is today?  Being left without the schedule that marks our days and weeks, means it all meshing together and that can keep us from feeling anchored in our lives.  The difference with Shelterwood was that we were on our own compound and had a daily and weekly schedule.  I also knew when my time was up.  I signed a year contract and when times got tough, I could count down the length of time I had left or the time til my next 12 hour break.  With this current situation, we don't know how long this will go on.  Not knowing is hard because there is no way to build up the proper endurance to keep going.  Also, without tracking our weeks, we can lose a sense of purpose which can impact our emotional health.  

4. Loss of finances - Many families are living in uncertainty because they have no idea how they are going to make ends meet when neither spouse is working, or one spouse is working, or knowing how long they will be able to sustain their temporary solution.  Small businesses are being affected and that not only effects individuals, it affects us all.  Our communities, resources and emotional health are all affected in this financial problem.  

Did you notice, each item uses the word, "loss," that is because there is some grief involved in this process.  We are mourning the lives we had before the new norm of shelter in place.

So is that it?  

Are we just going to look at the problems and why this is so hard?  No.  So much of this is out of our control, but so much is in our control.  Understanding what we are feeling helps to identify the solutions.  Once we understand the issues at play, we can turn our focus onto what we can control.   

We need to be mindful of not only our needs, but the needs of others.  We have an opportunity to build community like never before.  We have a chance to think outside the box and build financial success in new ways.  We can create a calendar of activities and goals that we build into our weeks so that it isn't just some time dump with nothing but isolation.  We can embrace the people stuck with us or face the stuff we've been avoiding.  We can celebrate the slow down and refocus our goals and what truly matters.  

What thing have you wanted to do, try or change?  Where can you focus and build new habits or develop new skills?  What family members have you not talked to in awhile?  What are you doing to monitor your own emotional and physical health?  

You get to choose if you will give in to depression or put things in place to fight against it.  You get to choose if you will be more intentional with working out and caring for your body or giving into the snacking and gain more weight.  You get to choose if you will stay on autopilot with your parenting or get more involved in a real relationship.  

Yes, there is definitely a lot of suck with all of this, but there is also hidden blessings.  My year at Shelterwood brought passages of the Bible to new light.  I felt like the 2D words had 3D meaning in my life like never before.  Once again, I see that with our current situation.  I already mentioned that I felt more connected with the people that survived it alongside me, and I'm seeing more connection and less division online.  We needed that! 

Can you find the hidden blessings and go for the best experience?  Are you finding the depth of scripture like never before? I find asking God, "why," is not nearly as beneficial as asking him, "what now?"  

So that is my final question for you?  What now?  Take some time to think about what is the hardest part for you in all of this.  What can you learn about yourself and how can you move forward?  Will you make the most of this opportunity?  Only you can answer those questions. 

If you need someone to talk to, I'm hear.  Just reach out.  
Happy Wednesday! 

What Will Your COVID-19 Story Be?

Hello friends, its safe to say life has changed drastically in a matter of minutes.  Our world is not the same as it was even a week ago.  I see a lot of information, panic, memes, and opinions all over the news and my social media feed and the one thing that seems clear - we will remember this.  

This strand of the coronavirus will come and go, but the public reaction, financial and political happenings will stay with this.  This time in history won't be forgotten.  The question is - what will your COVID-19 story be?  

Twenty, thirty, forty years from now when you retell your story of what happened and how you reacted, what will it be?  

Today, I was scrolling through the crazy and found a poignant post from a high school friend.  When I read her post, I asked if I could share because her answer is magnificent.  She agreed, so read with me the beautiful words of Laura Simon, then decide how you will respond.  God bless you all, if you need anything, please reach out.  I am here.  Take it away Laura...

On a beautiful, cloudless day in September of 2001, life as I knew it collapsed with two towers in New York. I was nearly 23, living in a brand-new apartment with a brand-new roommate, and student teaching for my final semester of school. (Yes, if you’re doing the math, I was doing the 4.5 year college plan. College was not my finest hour.)
One minute, life was beautiful and uncomplicated. Then my cooperating teacher pulled me aside, told me something terrible had happened, and sent me to the counseling office to watch live while she took charge of the eighth graders. It was a gift to me that I didn’t have to see that unfold with an audience of young eyes; I certainly wouldn’t have handled it well.

The following days very much resembled the ones we’re living in now. Crazy rumors led to runs on commodities that we feared would be in short supply. Instead of toilet paper, we lined up for miles to get gas. Gas stations sold out and shut down. We rushed to the grocery for non-perishable food. (In case you’re wondering, my provisions included cases of Dr. Pepper, M&M’s, Lucky Charms, and ramen noodles. Nothing else, really.) We were afraid to go to large, public places for fear that the terrorist next door (they were everywhere, we know) would target them. A rumor flew around that a large-scale attack was planned for malls nationwide. Schools felt vulnerable and many people kept their kids home. We were, quite literally, afraid to breathe, as if the air might be laced with explosives.

My roommate was housesitting for friends, which left me alone in our apartment, sprawled on the couch watching around-the-clock coverage of all the things we thought we knew. (As you can probably imagine, time revealed that much of that early reporting was completely inaccurate, but I didn’t have the perspective to realize it.) I didn’t even have cable, but I did have Dr. Pepper, which I consumed in abundance. The isolation was probably the worst thing that could have happened to me; lacking any good personal habits for dealing with anxiety, I watched, ate, and tried to find anything that would make me feel better.
It turned out that two things were quite helpful in doing just that. The first was shopping. As the fog lifted and things re-opened, the country began to realize that life probably would, actually, continue. The malls, desperate to lure in wary shoppers, offered deep discounts. Apparently, I am willing to risk death by suicide bomber if there’s a chance to score Express jeans for half price. A new wardrobe improved my mood remarkably, so I shopped often, in spite of the fact that I wasn’t getting paid for my student teaching gig. That’s why God invented credit cards, no?

The other opportunity that soothed that fear in my heart was happy hour at the TGI Friday’s right down the street with my new colleagues. Only it wasn’t really an hour – it was more like seven. For someone who’d rarely ever had a drink, that was a lot of alcohol. And all that alcohol masked the fact that my newfound community – which I desperately craved – wasn’t really what I was looking for. They were good people, but not on the path I wanted to be on. Still, it felt good to be with someone – anyone – in those early weeks, so I found a boyfriend in the happy hour crew and let the alcohol fix my misgivings.

Eventually I got rid of the boyfriend, and eventually I paid off the debt. Life went on, and offered me more personal 9/11’s. Each time, I flailed and writhed and grasped for anything to make me feel better. Each time – as it always does – life eventually moved on.

But the last one – just two years ago – finally changed me. That time, when my world bottomed out, I leaned in to God. Instead of binge-watching Friends, I walked the darkened halls of my house, opening my hurting heart to a father I barely knew. I read the actual Bible, and found a lot that I didn't know was in there. Friends – real friends – came alongside me and spoke truth. I found a counselor who was willing to ask the right questions, to look below the surface, to help me see things in myself I didn’t want to see. I begged God to fix things, and instead He opened my eyes. I was begging for a bandaid when I was bleeding out from a full-blown puncture wound. I didn’t know who He was or how He felt about me. The people I was trusting weren’t worthy of my trust. I was trying to earn what was freely given, and letting shame bully me into ignoring the truth.
God began to show me how to come to Him first, how to rest in what He was doing instead of fixing things myself. He began to show me that I can trust him, regardless of what people on earth decide to do. He began to rewrite my response to things that cause me anxiety.

And then last week happened. And this week. Every day, life as we knew it seems more and more impossible. If I let myself linger on social media, the bad news hits in regular waves. Just like 2001, the future we imagined seems gone forever. And just like 2001, my body is riding waves of anxiety. My appetite is gone. I’m tempted to stare at my phone all day. Sometimes my body just shakes. All day long, I just want to sleep. And then at night, sleep eludes me.

I’ve been given the same opportunity I was given almost 20 years ago, but this time I know this is where God is. In the scary and uncertain, He will do things I couldn’t imagine just last week. He will mold more than just my external situation; He will change my heart in these moments.

I still hate it – all this change and uncertainty and, most of all, the isolation. But I also know this is where we find him. If we’re brave, this is where strongholds finally break and victories finally happen. This is where we change. And this time, I’m here for it.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9   

A Winco Field Trip From God

Up until last year I was a youth pastor, so my job was planning events for the teens.  Several years ago as I sat at my desk wondering what conference to take the youth group to the following year as I planned the budget and calendar.  I came across a conference in Monterey put on by Organic Outreach International.  I sat at my desk and asked God if this is where we were supposed to go.  I looked over the speaker list and was drawn to one of the speakers.  So we went.  I sat there completely overwhelmed by the realization that I was exactly where I needed to be.  It was an amazing event, but more importantly it was the start of something amazingly new for our church.

I came back sharing the principles of Organic Outreach with the leadership of our church and thankfully they caught the excitement and got on board. We had a group go do the intensive training they offer and began to launch this new way of operating at our church.  We hit some bumps in the road as people moved away and new leaders emerged, and this year I was placed in charge of our Organic Outreach Team.

So what is Organic Outreach?  Its not a church program but a new way of living and thinking.  So many people go to church instead of being the church and they plan potlucks and socials for their members and it can get to a point where the church feels more like a country club.  That isn't what God intended.  Organic Outreach encourages us to engage with the people that are in our lives.  To be out there in the world loving people and sharing Jesus with them in a way that is natural.  That happens when we experience the love for the world that Jesus did.  We have to care for this whole thing to work.

I lead an Organic Outreach meeting last night and yesterday morning was a crazy day.  I had car issues and a few other things that had me enveloped in my own world.  Still I sat at my desk to prep for the meeting.  I had to make a change in my schedule so the grocery shopping that was going to happen today, had to happen yesterday so I ran out at lunch to get that errand checked off the list and get back to my work to-do list.

I had no idea I was on a God field trip.  He wanted my notes for the meeting to be authentic so he had a surprise waiting for me on my trip to Winco.

As I pushed my cart through the aisles I saw lots of people and usually I end up running into the same people repeatedly, but as I went past the yogurts I noticed a mother and her almost grown daughter by the orange juice.  I can't tell you why they stood out to me, but they just seemed cool, positive women.  I went on to grab some frozen corn and then headed to check out.

As I approached the lines, I scanned to see which aisle was least ominous and saw the same mother/daughter duo in a not so long line so I pulled up behind them.  As they put their groceries on the belt, I got a chuckle at the mom's shirt and let her know I liked it.  They seemed to carefully weighing the options of what made the cut and what didn't.

I immediately asked God, "Am I supposed to help them?"  You may be saying, help everyone, but truthfully giving to everyone isn't always helping.  I wasn't sure if mom was teaching daughter to be responsible and if I rushed in to help, I could be ruining a teachable moment.  So I waited as they checked out and began to bag their groceries.

When it was my turn I noticed several items by the cashier and asked if they couldn't afford them.  She confirmed that was the case so I told her to add it to my bill and just set it there at the end of their stuff.  She verified that is what I really wanted as she rung up each item.  Honestly, I don't know how much it was but I doubt it was much over $20.  I assured her to do it.  When the ladies got to the items they didn't pay for they came to the register to ask what happened and she informed them that I had paid for it.

This is when things get interesting.  The mom said thank you and started to cry.  She came over to me and hugged me so tight and repeatedly thanked me in between bursts of tears.  It was a hug I'd expect from someone who just got the big check from Ellen, not from someone who just got a couple of items free from the store.  The hug told me there was more, so I held onto her equally as tight and encouraged her and reaffirmed God loved her.    She then got all of her stuff and headed out the store.  Her daughter thanked me as they left.

As I left the store, I began to cry because I was the one who was blessed.  I didn't plan any of that and God used it to show me how much he loves all of us.  He knows the life behind each of us as we pass mindlessly on the street, in stores and public transit.  Small things can have great impact for those with great need.

When I got home there were a pair of shoes at my door that I was supposed to buy from a friend.  Instead of waiting for me to come pick them up, she dropped them off for me. She knew about my car trouble and decided just to gift them to me, so I know there are so many kind-hearted people out there paying it forward and allowing God to work through them.

This blog post isn't about me and "look what I did," instead its about what God did.  For all of that to happen, everything was timed.  God had a plan.  I didn't have to obey, but if I hadn't I'd be the one to miss out.  I also got connected with the heart of people - not the void of bodies roaming, but a woman with a need that I could bless and blessed me in return.

I was now ready for the meeting.  Sure, my notes and copies were lined up ready to go, but the real prep work was in my heart in the middle of that grocery store.

Are you connected to humanity?  Are you available to go where God leads?  We get asked to give a lot and I believe that non-stop request line has most of us pretty checked out with the needs of those around us.  I don't blame us, we've been overloaded and have barricaded our hearts to survive and ensure we don't get used, but the down side is, we miss the human moments.  Ask God to prepare your heart for what he is doing and when you get those moments, go for it.  Feel free to share it with me, I'd love to hear about it!  Happy Wednesday!

From Not Enough to Full of Life

I grew up in the church and from birth until now, I've gone to at least 11 churches in my life with all the moving and adjusting, and I would say a majority of them were amazing places.  While my current church is home, my childhood church in Ohio, still is my church in a lot of ways, because I not only learned about God, but I felt safe there.  I felt accepted and loved and I trusted the people to not only know the Bible, but to live it.

Even with that love, I was the girl who went forward for prayer or to confess something every week at the end of the service.  I lived in fear of messing up and some of the dysfunctional experiences I walked, messed with my sense of self and skewed the filter that I used, to view life and even the Bible.

That skewed filter kept me thinking I was doing something wrong.

"I must have too much fear if I don't feel the love of God."  

"I must not be trusting God enough because I don't feel his peace."  

"I must be wrong because I don't fit in that Christian box I see everyone else living in." 

I was reading my Bible, going to church, and was in Christian school and some of the things I thought I was supposed to get, do or be as a Christian just weren't happening. 

I recently listened to a sermon online by Steven Furtick on trusting God's timing. In his message, he mentioned some things we believe in that simply aren't true.  At one point in his sermon he said: 

"Your mind is collecting evidence for a verdict that is no longer accurate." 

The bell went off in my head.  I am the woman I am today because of the Bible plus good counseling and a team of supportive people in my life. Here's the thing, Jesus is the answer; God's Word is the lamp unto our feet, but if we've been through some hard life and have ended up believing in lies about who we are, we aren't in the place to receive the Word of God in our lives.  Some good Christian counseling helped fix the filter that was impacted by the sinful world I was born into and I believe God walked me through it all.  The Bible and a bad filter, can make the Bible a weapon in our hands instead of the good news of the Gospel (Gospel literally means good news).  Jesus' saving us in the greatest act of love is an amazing gift.  

This simple reality is what motivated me to write the book I'm working on now entitled, "Mesearch," self-discovery might not be our ultimate pursuit in life, but it may be a necessary journey to get on the right path in seeking God.  

God is gracious to me.  He created this world and said it was good at each turn (Genesis 1) but sin also entered this world and so many of us encounter lies about our world and ourselves that cloud the ability we have to see the truth.  We are in fact doing what Steven Furtick is quoted as saying.  We have believed in a lie, maybe unknowingly, and we are collecting evidence to now support it.  

Instead we need to reach toward truth, and sometimes that takes something like Psychology to get us to the point of seeing the truth.  God created it all and that includes the minds to think and the science behind how our world (and we) operate.  Counseling is not bad, in fact, when you seek counsel from someone qualified and in line with your belief system, you are only aiding your spiritual life.    

I know we can take the self-care and self-discovery too far, but I also know denying it or assuming those around us come at life from the same place we do, is naive.   I know for years I felt unworthy of compliments and self-care.  I wasn't denying myself to serve God, I was doing so because I didn't think I mattered enough to have it.  Now, standing in a much different place, a healthier place, looking back, I see that sometimes the instruction I received in how to do life through the word of God, was limited not by God, but by the person sharing from their limited viewpoint.

When I stopped long enough to address the mess inside of me and fix the filter, then those words in scripture that once made me feel not enough, felt full of life.  Are you stuck somewhere and can't figure it out?  God is pursuing you.  He may need to touch the pain in your heart and guide you to a new filter before the fullness of life he promises can be yours.  Happy Wednesday!

Spy Adventures

If you don't know, I love party planning.  The thing is, I don't want to do what everyone else is doing, I like being unique.  We don't do parties for our kids every year, because that seems like a lot and then when they do have a party, its special.  I also love inviting everyone or as close to that as possible, so its a lot of work.  Two years ago, my son celebrated his 7th birthday with a Nerf Wars party.  I loved it because it was fun and so easy.  I made a few cardboard barricades and ordered bulk Nerf bullets on Amazon.  I asked the boys to bring their guns and let them free for all in the field at our church.  It was great!

This year my son was going to have a party again.  At first he said he wanted Nerf Wars again because he loved it and several of his friends were doing Nerf Wars this year, but I told him we already did that, so we just needed to pick something else.

We landed on Secret Agent and Spy Adventures theme.  I created the invite, then began to look online for ideas.  The Pinterest board was filling up and so was my idea list on Amazon.  So here is what we did.  I tried to make it fun and unique and I think I accomplished that.

When the kids entered, they headed to Headquarters.  There they could get into disguise, decode their secret agent name and code number, gather their evidence bags and supplies for their missions.  

I just used old labels for the name tags and found a list online to create the secret agent names. If you would like to use what I did, let me know and I'd be happy to email it to you.  I also had them add their thumb print on the name tag so I got a fingerprinting pad, but any black stamp pad would work, just don't forget to put wipes by the stamp pad so they can clean off their fingers.

Hats and mustaches were on Amazon. You could also do sunglasses and there are plenty of options online for those.


I found a roll of stickers on Amazon that I could just put onto white paper bags.  Then I got the top secret pencils and notebooks as well as magnifying glasses.  In essence the kids put together their goody bags throughout the party.  So that saves you work, though you will need to sharpen pencils so they can use them.

I even joined in with my very own code name (Red Cobra Dragon), hat and mustache.

I bought some crime scene tape and cut out related images on my Cricut Machine (Explore Air 2).  It was pretty easy decorations.  I also got all of my table coverings from Dollar Tree and used black ones on the eating tables and just put the crime scene tape down the center.    

We invited a ton of kids and most of the parties online are for small groups, I figured I could divide them into 3 groups for some of the missions, but I wanted one that they all did together and I know this sounds crazy, but God gave me a game idea in a dream.  I call it Spy Tag.  I bought some play gemstones at Dollar Tree and had the kids divide into two teams.  One team was the bad guys and the other was the Spy Team.  The bad guys had a gemstones.  They had to secretly pass it back and forth on the field as they were chased by the Spy Team.  If the spy team tagged the criminal with the stone, they one, but if no one got tagged in the time alloted, they won.  We switched teams so that everyone could do both sides.  

I had one crew working to find who stole the gemstones in the Musuem Heist.  They had to crawl through the laser beams (hard to see in picture, but I just used red string), then find the fingerprint on the podium, then go find the hidden 5 suspect cards and match the fingerprint.  

The second mission was minefield.  They had to cross the minefield as a team, but if someone stepped on one of the mines they all had to start over.  There was candy waiting for them to be added to their evidence bags if they completed the task. 

The third mission involved these cool spy pens they added to their evidence bags in the library.  They had to follow the invisible clues with their special pens to the missing diamonds from the heist.  

The kids ate pizza and jumped on the bounce house.  I got simple cupcakes and added toppers I made with my Cricut and this top secret stamp.  I added file folders, a simple and cheap decoration. The last thing I did after Caleb opened all his gifts was had them pop the bombs (black and red balloons).  Three balloons had a number in them that they had to figure out to unlock the lock on a duffel bag that had candy bags for them to add to their evidence bags.  The lock I got had 3 numbers so I did 126 my son's birthday.  All it all it was success.  The kids had fun and I loved being creative.  

Now onto my daughter's 5th birthday this month - Unicorn Tea Party :).  

Resetting Life Expectations

Life is hard, isn't it?!  I feel like I was always looking for the time in life when it would be easy, but even in this amazing stage of life I find myself in, I am still struggling with challenges.  I wanted the white picket fence, the perfect family, house, etc.  Here I am living it and its just not the problem free reality that I envisioned and desperately hoped for as a girl.

Don't get me wrong, I love my life, but where along the way did I pick up the notion that the good life was a perfect life?  Where did I gather in the info that a problem-free existence was possible.  I've been a Christian all my life, and I've studied the Bible, but does it say that anywhere in that book?  No, in fact, it says just the opposite.  We are told about the problems of life.  It shouldn't be a surprise!

John 16:33 
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart! I have overcome the world."  

Its no accident that John 15 comes before this verse.  John 15 talks about God as the vine and us as the branches.  He discusses the vital truth of being close and connected to God to grow and thrive.   We need this truth in order to survive life. 

There was a time in my junior high days that the first chapter of Jeremiah struck me with a nugget of truth. Read part of it with me: 

Jeremiah 1:4-10 

The Call of Jeremiah
4 The word of the Lord came to me, saying,

5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
    before you were born I set you apart;
    I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”

6 “Alas, Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I do not know how to speak; I am too young.”

7 But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am too young.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. 8 Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the Lord.

9 Then the Lord reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, “I have put my words in your mouth. 10 See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant.”

Now go back and look at verse eight.  Do you see that word, "rescue?"  God doesn't promise we won't go through the "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day," or days as it usually goes in life, and he never promises the perfect, scripted life.  Instead he promises never to leave us or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6, Joshua 1:5-9, I Kings 8:57, Genesis 28:15, Hebrews 13:5)  and he promises to rescue.

Why does God promise that?  Because he knows when life is hard, we feel alone, defeated and inadequate. Jeremiah wasn't just some random guy having a bad day, Jeremiah was a prophet that God sent out to share his truth and love, knowing Jeremiah wouldn't be received with open arms.  He knew he would be treated badly, but he still sent him because God loves people and wants the best for them.  God also loved Jeremiah, which is why he assures him he will rescue him.

Often in scripture, God sent people on missions by giving the job description and then promising to be there.  He doesn't say it will be easy, he promises his presence, which means something when you are an all-loving, all-powerful God.  When God says he will do something, he will do it.  It doesn't matter if the promise seems impossible.  Man and God don't operate in the same realm.  He doesn't have our limitations.  In fact, our God didn't just send us, he also sent himself in the form of Jesus, who did everything he told us to do. He led by example.

Also, have you ever noticed the richest life usually comes as a result of the passage through the "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad" experiences?   The sweet life isn't being a Stepford Wife - in fact there perfect existence is in reality, no existence at all.  Messy life is the best life.

I can't finish this without reminding my Christian readers out there, that this Bible filled with people like Jeremiah doesn't just stop with the men and women in this book.  We have been given a mission.  Matthew 28:16-20 is God's mission for us.  Go read it if you don't know it, and if you do, go get reminded.  These promises are still for us today as we walk the same road that has already been walked.  As you struggle to love that woman that trash talked you, face cancer, stand up for truth in a loving way, share love with the homeless, listen attentively to that annoying talker, invite that friend to church or Bible study, be loving to a spouse that is on your last nerve and the list goes on, remember you are on a mission from God.

So what are the keys to a good life?  I think its pretty simple.

1. Know Your Mission
2. Know Your God
3. Enjoy the Beauty Amidst the Storms
4. Press On In Love

Maybe its time to throw out the childhood expectations you had for life.  I know I need to and re-calibrate what I am aiming for.  God will rescue you if you let him.  Being his means having a peace in the one true God no matter the circumstances, but it doesn't mean problem free. Sometimes I need reminded of that reality.  God loves me and he always has.  He loved the girl with the abusive stepdad, with all the baggage after divorce and abuse as much as he loves the wife and mom I am today.

Do you need to reconnect with God today?  Do you need to clarify your mission and get to know your God, your master, a little more?   Do you just need the encouragement that you aren't alone and you are seen?  Take this truth and keep on.  You are needed.  Happy Wednesday!  - Carrie