This last weekend we celebrated the life of my Grandma Pat. I had the honor of putting together the slideshow and as I thought back on the times we had together, I realized just how special she was and our relationship was, so I thought in her honor I would share some lessons I learned from my grandma with you!
1. Family is Family - Grandma Pat was my dad's stepmom. I never felt the "step." She was my grandma and I was her first grandchild. She made me feel so special on my visits with her and she was someone who made me feel loved. I knew she was in my corner.
I never knew until adulthood when I encountered other families that the word, "step" actually created rifts in families and that distinctions of "real" and "step" were made. It just wasn't in my understanding and its something I continue to try to pass on in life.
I am about to have my first grand baby, as my stepdaughter, Stephanie, is due in February. I hope that child one day can echo the same words I use when I describe the relationship pictured above.
2. Its Never Too Late to Start Over - The blended family I grew up in looked perfect to me. I thought I was amongst the real-life Brady Bunch. It wasn't until I grew into adulthood that I learned, it was really tough in the beginning. There were moments when the obstacles that this new family faced challenged its future and as they forged ahead bitterness could have taken hold, but it didn't.
My grandparents never let age, or bad habits be an excuse for moving forward. If something needed to be changed, you worked at it until you found success. I have let this guide me in life as well. I do a lot wrong, but I won't let that be a quitting spot, but a place where growth will happen.
I've often quoted Jerry Bridges from his book, Pursuit of Holiness, when he says, "A failure is not someone who fails, but someone who stops trying." I quote it because its a source of encouragement to stay the course. Whatever obstacle you face, when you fail, dust yourself off and go at it again.
3. Gratitude is Everything - We didn't do a traditional service. It was a lunch and service of our (very large) family at my aunt's house. We had a lunch of Grandma's favorite recipes, ate candies she loved, drank Fuzzy Navel wine coolers and Sangria (her favorite drinks) and finished the service with pie, as she taught pie making, for many years.
One of the memories many of us shared was Grandma's strict ways of enforcing the "thank-you" note. She was infamous for requirement of a "thank-you" note. While I didn't always agree with the strict standard she held, I know that showing gratitude is a lost art in our society and its something that we must practice more. Being grateful is a must for the best life possible.
I loved the touch my Aunt Julia added by having a basket of "thank-you" notes for us to take on our way out so that we could thank someone in honor of Grandma. I marvelled that despite our objections at times in our childhood, here was a room of thirteen twenty-somethings that know how to write "thank-you" notes and do it consistently. What a treasure for the generations to come!!!
4. Fun is a Key Ingredient in Life - When I was little, my visits to Grandma and Grandpa's house included playing card games, watching movies in their bed, going on adventures like panning for gold or going out shopping and out to dinner, but my most prized memory is the dress-up time Grandma did with me.
She would dress me in an old flapper outfit or some other fancy dress. She'd do my hair and make up and then present me to the family ready in the living room as Glamour Galore, the famous fashion model. Sometimes I was her sister, Glorious. The way in which Grandma turned the ordinary into an event was an art form and it was a school I loved to attend.
She had fun! Life is full of junk and sometimes you just have to have fun for no reason at all, other than because life would be too boring without it! I carry this into my motherhood now. Sometimes we make the ordinary meal a special event or go on an adventure just because its a Tuesday. Life has enough serious in it - fun is necessary!!!
5. Go For Your Goals - Grandma Pat was a supporter. If she knew you liked something, she was there to cheer you on in those goals. After all, if you didn't make it, life was full of the neigh-sayers, but we don't have to be that for those we love.
As I started to speak more openly about my past, my abortion and how God had healed me, I decided I should tell my family. I'd rather them hear it from me, than read it somewhere else or have someone else tell them. After a riveting game of Mexican train, one visit, I told my grandparents my story. They gave me a hug and sent me to bed. I later discovered they flipped out in my absence in shock of the bomb I'd dropped in their laps.
Despite their private freak out, Grandma learned why I was passionate about sharing my story and encouraged me in my public speaking. One of the first things she did was get me hired as the guest speaker at their local Pregnancy Center's annual banquet! She let me see how to go after goals on my own and to encourage those around us. What a gift!
6. There's Always A Way to Conquer Those Obstacles - My Aunt Julia shared a story about Grandma, that I loved. When Grandma was first married, she wanted to make a roast for her husband's boss the night he was coming to dinner. She'd never made one before and since this was long before google was around, she decided to figure it out herself.
She called random numbers and acted like she was doing a survey. She inquired about the ways in which people made a roast. She then took all the answers and landed on a median recipe on temperature, prepping etc. Grandma didn't have the luxury of education so many have today, but she was so intelligent (she had a genius IQ) so she learned what she didn't know, any way she could.
Hearing others stories like this one, mirrored the ways Grandma had taught me to get the knowledge you needed to walk down that path you envisioned. We let far too much stand in our way, and I loved hearing the creative ways, Grandma conquered whatever came her way. We give up far too quickly in life and many of us need to regroup and go!
Do you ever stop and think what you've learned from those you love? Which of the lessons above did you most need to hear? I'd love to hear from you! Happy Wednesday!!!
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