A CHOICE

I got a text.  It was from a friend in rehab (I have a few of them there at the moment).  She thanked me for my card and I quickly responded with the following: 

I LOVE YOU!!! 

Followed by: 

I'm proud of you. 

As I typed that last sentence I had this epiphany.  I'm saying to someone in rehab that I am proud of them, and the "why" is what birthed my deep thought.  I have met several people lately in the middle of their life mess, and honestly, I am in the middle of my own life mess.  I could record and replay the message I hear from people faced with reality - they are awful for where they are and facing it just reminds them of the bad person they are. 

Reality is, we all are in the midst of some type of life situation.  The details are different for all of us, but humanity is in all of us.  It takes courage to face up to life.   

I realized in that moment people have to make a choice in who they become.   

1. Those who face life head on and in spite of the failures and struggles that seek to define them, reach out for the life they want.  These people seek to be whole, healthy individuals.  The struggle is the hurdle, not the defining quality.  These people call out for help when they get stuck so they will ensure they reach their goals and find success.  

2.  Those who hide behind their masks and keep their secrets, thoughts and addictions from the world.  Perfection is always an illusion and those who put up the image of perfection are usually trading relationships for busy work or looking good.  These people are tired from being who everyone else wants them to be and feeling enslaved to self-imposed expectations.  

We often get tricked into thinking we are the only ones struggling with thoughts, insecurities, fears, addictions, weaknesses, temptations, etc, because so many people seem to have it together.  BUT ITS A LIE! There are no perfect people. 

 Of course not everyone's junk is created equal and some of us have more to overcome, but we can choose to cry at reality and keep making excuses, all the while climbing deeper in the pit, or we can face the man in the mirror and do what we have to do to be who we want to be.  We have to speak truth to the lies and realize while we will always be facing new obstacles throughout life, how we respond to them largely affects how they affect us.  

I was proud of this woman as well as a few others I am working with because they are choosing to face all the hurt and pain below the surface.  Usually the addictions or bad behaviors we develop are symptoms of some underlying issue.  

My own choice to have an abortion at 18 was a cover-up mission to hide the pain I had from divorce, abuse and false religious expectation.  Its sad that my turning point came at the cost of my son, but it was where I faced myself and the lies I was holding as truth and began to heal from everything.  

I am proud of people who make the choice, no matter how big or small, to be themselves, face lies they believe and begin to find their voice in this world.  I am proud of people who say, "no," to the things that keep them down and are willing to do the work in exchange for freedom.  

So here's my final question for you, which person are you?  If you are number 1, or see you are number 2 and want to change, hear me say: I AM PROUD OF YOU! We each have some choice in the person we are each day.  Find your choice and make it wisely! Happy Wednesday!!!