What are YOU Thinking?

Have you ever paid attention to everything you think about in a given day?  Today, I offer you one simple exercise.

Take note for one hour (I would suggest at different times) each day for a week about the thoughts that went through your head.  You don't have to share them with others, but it might be helpful to check out any patterns you have.

What do you think about?

How do you think about or think through life situations? 

Did you have a negative or positive thought process to life as it happened? 

Were you surprised by how much you thought about certain things?

If you were to put them in categories, how many thought categories do you have?

What were the thoughts you didn't like? 

What were the thoughts you loved? 

What else stuck out to you in this exercise?  

Most of us want to change, yet few of us actually do anything about it, and I believe its because we aren't willing to do the internal inventory and discover where we truly are in life.  

Taking inventory of your thoughts, helps you to see where you are.  When you decide what you want from life, then retraining your thought life can help you to get there.  If you want to know more about this, then go grab a book by Dr. Caroline Leaf.  

As you take inventory above, I would also ask the question: 

What thoughts do I want in my brain?  

If you didn't like the way you thought about life or yourself or you found yourself stuck in a negative mental cycle, what would you want to replace it with?  

This month on mindset, really is important because how we think about our life is one of the most important building blocks for changing words and actions.  There is so much out of our control, but if we focus solely on that, we can miss what we do have control over.  That is where our time and thoughts should be spent.  

I'd love to hear how this went for you! Happy Wednesday! 

When You Are Not Enough

Note to Reader:  This is an interactive post.  I have questions that I want you to answer, so if you can't take some time now, be sure to schedule time in the next week to answer the questions below. Yay!!!

Have you ever felt like you run out and life still needs more?  Have you ever felt inadequate to live the life you lead?  If you do, I have some good news...you are not alone.  Feeling that way may seem like you are the exception not the rule, but reality says its the other way around.

Walk into a nearby Target or scroll through your IG feed and chances are you will find someone who seems to have what you don't have.  Someone who looks like they are killing it in life.  The problem with that idea is that its drawing a conclusion with only a small percentage of the story.  We see all of us and only part of others.

Craig Groeschel says social media is people sharing their best 5%.  That means you are missing 95% of the story.  If you were solving murders with only 5% of the facts, you'd be a horrible detective! 

We need to stop comparing our whole lives with a snapshot of others lives.  But lets take comparison off the table for a minute and lets talk about you.

I have some questions.  So do me a favor, get some paper and a pen and settle in for a moment of reflection.  Don't have time to answer now? Jot these down and answer them later! 

1. What is the standard you are using to measure success (and failure)?  

2. Where did that standard come from?  Is it a healthy source or is it rooted in dysfunction? 

3. Do you need to adjust the standard? 

4. What are you doing out of obligation and not because it flows with the life you want to be living? 

5. What are you over-committing to? Is this a time management issue or a self-worth issue?  

6. What do your best friends see in you that you don't see?  (Don't know - ask them!) 

You guys, I love renovation shows.  I have a handful I watch, and I love when there is a dump of a house, or so you think, but it just seems that way, because us viewers don't see what is actually there. Sometimes we are like these old houses.  We let ourselves just live in a reaction state to life instead of a place of leadership and ownership.  We let hardship and haters define us and wear the junk we pick up along the way because we feel we are supposed to instead of fighting to be who we were made to be. 

Throw some grace on yourself.  You are the only one doing you.  Celebrate that!  Sure, we have areas we need to grow and change, and we want to do us in a way that honors who God created us to be, but can you see what you are doing well?  Is that life glass half empty or half full?  If you are only seeing the mistakes and the inadequacy, then you are missing the beauty of you.  

Let's regroup, shall we?! Here are some steps: 

1. Gather your friends and ask them to fill your love bank.  Ask them to share what they love about you and take notes!!! If you are really struggling write it up pretty and put it on the walls so you are see it every day.

2.  Speak new truth into your life.  I've talked about my I AM Journal, and you need to do your version of that.  Write out in faith what you are or what you are becoming so that you can make a path for a new you.  Lead the way.  

3.  Read up.  Books by women like Dr. Caroline Leaf or Brené Brown will help you to understand the hurdles you have to leap.  Seeing how the brain works and what you need to do to overcome the mental blocks, will help you to go in a new direction.  

4. Write out a realistic day.  What areas of life are priorities and what time do those things take?  I know I can often write out a week's worth of to-do's in one day and that is just silly and setting myself up for failure.  Taking mental note of this and costing out the time helps reveal the things you need to cut.  

5. Take you into account.  Sure women can do it all, but it doesn't mean we should.  What I add to my family is different than what my husband does. I am emotional and I have to build in time for the relational duties that don't often get noticed and take more time, but they are important.  I could be my husband, but what good is that, he has that covered, I need to be me.  Who I am and how I do life affects what I accomplish and how I accomplish it (this is why comparison is pure junk)! 

So there you go.  There is a lot here.  Digest it and process this.  Let me know what you think.  Did I miss a point in all of this?  Tell me.  I love hearing from those of you who read this blog of mine.  You are the reason I write it after all, what you think matters to me! Happy Wednesday! 

How Does One Measure?

How does one measure the meaning of their life? Lately, I have been living in an Alice in Wonderland state where things are not always what they appear and do not coincide with my normal definitions in life. I wonder if I have been looking at things backwards or even upside down. Recently, as I have shared in a previous blog, an old relationship has discovered new meaning where past events are now viewed differently.

I have told my story on stage so many times I can no longer count. I have recited details of situations, both bitter and sweet, and discussed where they have led me in life. I have gained insight into myself through those experiences and what I feel God has done in me because of what I have encountered. What if my chronological recounting has missed meaning of events because I was measuring in a linear format? How can I measure specific circumstances or my life as a whole when each new day brings new meaning to who I am and why I am here?

I Corinthians 13 tells us at the close of the chapter that now I only know a part, but then (when Jesus comes and I go to be with him in heaven) I will know fully as "I am fully known." The older I become I really should have more questions than answers because new dimensions of myself and God's hand in events should be revealed. If I wake up from a nap with my head against a picture on a piece of paper, my eye close up will only see a glimpse of the whole, as I raise my head and have more focus to see it all, then I will know what I am looking at.

So how do I measure my life? The answer is I don't have an answer, but I will not limit my beginnings of an answer to my own knowledge or experience, but will be open to the possibilities of what God has in store and will cherish even the things that at first may seem bad. For I know that while living in an abusive home as a child was a horrible experience, it is now measured by the lives I encountered and cherished for those reasons. I am thankful that I had the opportunity to know someone even in dark circumstances. I can't wait to see how the rest of my life will measure up. Who's with me?