Just Be Basic!

This month we are getting back to the basics.  That is our theme.  Life can get complicated and sometimes we just need to simplify and take it back to the basics. Summer is a great time to do it too! The topics will be the things I can talk about.  This month I thought we'd talk essential oils one week, because their is a lot of information out there so let's simply it! I also want to discuss the basics of the Christian faith because I am a Christian, and again, a lot of stuff out there.  There are a few other areas I'd also love to share, but for today, let's talk about our basic needs.

We all need water, food and sleep (even though moms tend to ignore this one), and there are other basic needs with various nutrients, etc, but our basic needs go beyond this list.

I get easily distracted.  Like a lot! I need lists to accomplish all the stuff.  Timers work well too, a buzz or ding to bring me back to what I am doing.

I need to take care of myself in unique ways so I don't go crazy.  I am one might call an empath.  I am great at empathy and it can become overwhelming at times.  I have to build in time to regroup or I will lose it.  I need to laugh so that I stay sane.  I'm also prone toward getting into my work and forgetting life around me or getting too busy that I end up having a melt down.  I have to schedule down time so that I can recover between tasks. You may relate to my needs, but my needs aren't your needs.  You may need something entirely different.

1. List it Out -
 When we talk basics, its making a list of what we need - physically, emotionally, spiritually etc.  and working our days from that list.  So list those needs out.  What do you need?  If you aren't sure what you need, ask God. He made you so I can guarantee he will have the answers.  When we aren't aware of what we need or aren't paying attention to those needs, we can end up hurting ourselves.

One of the needs I often neglect is water.  I have to often track how many glasses I've had in a day so that I can stay on track with my hydration.  I know if I get dehydrated, I start to fall a part.

2. Calendar Priorities - 
When you calendar life, be sure you know your needs and those get put in first.  Then fill in with all the other stuff.  First things, first is a great way to live.

When you look at that list of your needs, where do they need to go in your day to day life?  I've always loved personality tests, I find the self-discovery in them fascinating, but as I've read the books of Dr. Caroline Leaf, I realize that many of my needs are even more specific.  I've learned what I need when I have to make a decision versus what I need to get a task done.  They are different.  Consider this factor when planning life.  If you know you have a big project or need to make some important choices, what you give yourself to do it, might change.

3. Question the Differences - 
Let's face it the people you are around the most, are the ones you most likely are comparing yourself to.  We each have our own individual list of needs that we often ignore with the groups of people around us.  I know I've gotten caught up in the people pleasing status quo and neglect myself in the mix.  I also compare what my husband can do with what I do, but the reality is, we are different and need different things.

So look at your spouse, siblings, friends, co-workers and ask, how am I different?  If you can see those differences, you may find the freedom to ask for what you need without the weight of judgment.

4. Live with Less - 
In doing the steps above, you may discover you need to simply your calendar and your life.  Once you check all the need boxes and responsibility boxes, you might not have time for some extras in you've said "yes" to.  Framing your life around what works best for you, is a simple recipe for success.

So go out there and be basic.  Its not a slam, its actually a good thing.  You know what's important and you are doing it! Happy Wednesday!

Begin with the End In Mind

Friday, I was at a funeral.

Sidebar: I've actually been to more of those than the average person. I have a big family, so growing up I was always at a funeral for some great uncle or aunt, and over the past sixteen years, I've worked at a church with a sizable elderly population.  That means a lot of funerals.

I know a lot of people hate funerals.  Truthfully, I really love what a funeral reminds me of.
* It reminds me of my purpose in life.
* I also love honoring people.  You always learn more about someone and the life they led.  Any life is worth celebrating, because there something good in everyone.
*Showing up for them and their families feels like an amazing gift too.

Friday, I was reminded that one conversation or even smile can make an impact for 40 to even 70 years in the heart and life of those around us because we never know what insignificant thing to us makes an impact in the life of someone else.

When I was in college, I remember being asked to write out my eulogy.  I've done it with the teens in my youth group over the years too.  I mean, how can we know if we are on track unless we look at where we want to be.  We only get so many years, are we making the most of the journey?  I don't believe in reincarnation so I don't think I will get another shot.  This life is it.

Looking at what we want in the end also lets us see what we've already accomplished. That is a great encouragement.

Besides the eulogy, there's also asking the question: What do I want people to say at my funeral?

What do you want people to remember?

When we look at goals, sometimes we become too short-sighted and just think what we want right now and forget long-term perspective.  Life is a marathon, not a sprint.

For me, relationships matter most.  I love my relationship with Jesus, my Savior and the beautiful people in my life.  I cherish people and making an impact in their lives, and that is what I want in the end.

What do you want your eulogy to say?  Write it, post it where you can see it and be reminded where you want to go.  It helps in getting there!

God bless you this fine January day! Make the most out of the one life you get, because trust me, it matters!!!

Are You Listening?

In 1999 (yes I know a million years ago) I was living in London.  I was there for a semester abroad and it was a time filled with fun memories, life lessons and moments I will never forget.  In the four months I was there, I was introduced to the term stimulus overload and soon after my move, I embodied the concept.  

At first London was overwhelming.  Everything was noisy and fast-paced and different that anything I'd lived near prior.  It was shocking how quickly my body adjusted.  The overwhelming was not something I could function with everyday, so my brain just tuned it out.  For example, the constant sirens in the neighborhood I shared with a local hospital soon became something my brain no longer recognized.  

This experience has been revisited in a new way over the past five plus years as the internet has taken over our lives.  Living online is something most of us do.  Its given us a great deal of connection in places we never had before, and its allowed us convenience, that I can't imagine living without.  The internet has also introduced us all to stimulus overload.  

The amount of messages, platforms, agendas, information, studies, life happenings, current events, perspectives, opportunities to serve and give has been beyond excess.  Mentally and emotionally we can't process all of it without tuning it all out and just becoming hardened to the issues our world faces.  Its important to ask some questions and add some intentionality to the seemingly mundane of everyday internet life.  

So here is my question: 

What speaks to you? 

What defines you and what do you give value to? 

There are many things vying for a place at the table but there isn't room for it all.  Its impossible to adequately care about all of it.  

It can all be important, but it can't all be important to you.  Giving a little to a lot means nothing is getting your undivided attention.  

Take some time today to narrow the field.  If we don't find purpose even in the messages we receive it all just becomes noise.  Noise is annoying.  

So where is your passion and how can you find more of that today?  What needs to go away from your brain space so you can focus on what matters?  

Organizing our thoughts and feelings is just as important as organizing our kitchen cabinets. 

Are you missing the important stuff because you've just shut down?   When the priorities speak, are you listening? 

Take some quiet time to take inventory and really think about how this applies to you.  I know I need this for myself.  Happy Wednesday folks!!! 

The Question I Asked My Son

The first day of school each year, the Mother’s Club (much like the PTA) at my son’s school, hosts their first meeting with great pomp and circumstance.  It is pretty wonderful!  Unlike the normal monthly meeting (that I try to attend with my two-year-old in toe), the first meeting of the school year offers free babysitting in addition to the wonderful food and awesome devotion time. 

The speaker the past two years is a local pastor that I have known the entirety of my 14 years in this community and I not only have a great deal of respect for him, but also think he is hilarious!  (If you know me, you know humor is pretty high on my list of amazing qualities people should possess.) 

As he closed his devotion, kicking off our year theme - “Fully Devoted” (Acts 2:42), he put out a challenge.  He encouraged us to ask our kids - without coaching, what they thought mom and dad’s top three personal priorities were?  

So, I did.  

On the way home from school that day, I asked Caleb that very question.  

Here was his answer: 

1. Us (our family)
2. Dad: Sports Mom: Hallmark Channel
3. God and Money (apparently 3 was not enough) 

He let me know they weren’t in a particular order, and even though 2/3 were on point with what I want my life speak about my priorities, I was really hung up on the other two mentioned.  

In my effort to demonstrate value of things and how to properly care for something, I inadvertently made money a higher priority than it should have been.  Money doesn't matter, people do! 

I do like watching Hallmark Movies and my husband is a Sports fanatic and there is nothing wrong with that, but what really got me was this: 

I didn’t want Hallmark to be in my top 3 but I also was perplexed because I didn’t have a definitive answer for what I wanted to replace it.  I could think of about 10 things to choose from but still struggled to know exactly what I desired to be number 3.  

Some of the contenders for that third spot might be: Physical Fitness, Healthy Eating, Caring for the Needy, Serving Others, Encouraging Others, Singing, Theater, Dance - but not TV! 

As I came on it, I realized I want my kids to see me loving on people!  That is what I am called to do as a Christian but its also hardwired into me to love people.  Life is hard and we all need extra encouragement and love.  That means I need to change a few things around so people come before a good movie on Hallmark.  

I can't be alone on the misplaced priority train.  So now the ball is in your court.  This is a great question to ask whether you have kids or not.  Regardless of intention, you are leaving a legacy.  There is no choice in this, but you do have a choice in the legacy you leave.  Are you someone who lives with intention?  Are you spending your time in areas that matter to you or are you wasting precious hours? Is it time for some self-evaluation in these areas?  What do people know you for?  How would your family and friends answer the question I asked my son?  

If you don’t get the answers you were hoping for, then it is time to make some changes.  Find out what you are aiming for then decide what activities are distracting you from your course and need to be altered or eliminated.  

If you got the answers you were hoping for - great!  Help others to live up to their potential.  I don’t believe in reincarnation, so this is the only shot I get at life.  Who will join me in making the most of the years you have left?  

All That Matters

Below is a little something I wrote a while back that never made it on the blog, so here it is:

Do you ever stop and ask yourself what your life reveals about your priorities? I got to take a deep look at this question over the weekend. My answer to the priority question has really changed. I believe one priority I did not recognize was fear. I was motivated by how others saw me or fear of getting emotionally or physically hurt. Those things kept me from my desired priorities like God, walking by the Spirit, loving people, and experiencing the wonderment of life and the moment. As I begin to experience freedom from fear I truly experience the life planned by God. Won't you join me?