When Your Best Isn't Enough

Do you ever feel like your best just isn’t good enough?  

I think most of us can answer, “yes” to that question.  

The truth is -  my best isn’t good enough.  

I can’t do it all.  

I wear a lot of hats and they can get exhausting.  I wasn't made to do all that I do.  

I was created with limitations and needs for things such as rest and relationships, both of which require a pause button from the rat race I run in daily.  

I am both a working mom and a stay-at-home mom.  I live the best and worst of both worlds.  Usually when I am rocking it in one area, I am behind or bombing in another area.  

The feminist movement has given us a lot of freedoms as women, but its also given us some unfair expectations.  We are expected to work and raise a family simultaneously, while looking good in the process!  That is a lot of pressure and as a result, we end up expecting too much out of ourselves subsequently beating ourselves up when we don’t hit the mark.  

My “to-do” list is always full and even if I go strong all day knocking items off the list, I still won’t come close to getting it all done.  Here's two things I hope will help.  

1. God Has A Plan Beyond What We See 

Today, a friend shared with me a few bumps in her road of late, but because of her time in the Bible and in prayer with God, she was prepared to view those setbacks with spiritual eyes.  It gave her the ability to see God in the midst of the issues she had encountered.  Instead of letting that pit her against her Lord, she sat in the lap of Jesus and got on board with his plan.  

2. God Takes Our Mistakes and Makes Miracles

I distinctly recall a moment when I was talking to God about my many issues as a mom.  I felt like the latest test had found me lacking and I was wallowing in self-pity and giving myself a good figurative flogging.  In the midst of my tear-filled verbal purging, I heard God say in my spirit, 

“Carrie, I know you will make mistakes as a mom, but it is in those shortcomings that your kids will get to meet with me and walk it out in our relationship.”  

It blew my mind, to think God had intention for my mistakes.  God had a plan - even for my overloaded mommy explosions.  He planned to use it for his glory as he fulfilled his word in Proverbs 27:17, when he says: 

As iron sharpens iron,

    so one person sharpens another.

We weren’t called to do it all, raise the perfect kids or aim at perfection in life at all.  We were created for relationship with God and others.   We serve a God that is big enough to do it all.  When we surrender our path to him, we can find him in each turn along the road.  We can see him work in spite of our full plate and the dropped balls along the way.  

I find each day that I start with God, I end up accomplishing exactly what I need to - nothing more, nothing less.  It doesn’t all get knocked off the list but the important things do.  

Are you struggling to find that balance between work life and mom life?  Are you drowning in a sea of to-do lists?  Time with God isn’t just about adding something else to your list - its about adjusting your list to be in alignment with his will; knowing that God breaths life into even the most devastating of days.  He’s got this - YOU can trust HIM!

Prayer Not Pinterest

This year I began writing in a notebook solely for prayer time. It has amazed me how some intentionality and quiet time has increased what I hear from God through the Bible and prayer. 

 About a month ago, I read a chapter in Arlene Pellicane's book, "31 Days to Becoming a Happy Mom," that discussed how we should go to God, not Google when trials first arise and it convicted me. I often run to my search engine to discover an ailment or parenting strategy before going to my Heavenly Father. I have made an effort to correct this by asking God my question first and quietly wait for a reply. Since that change I have been amazed by the answers I have heard from our Lord. 

One morning I was praying for a way to discipline common issues we face in our home. I wanted a solution I could also participate in when I made a mistake so I could model my mess-ups and corrections as well. God gave me an idea! 

This idea would have been something I could only have dreamed to have populated my Pinterest feed. What provision! I quickly got to work. 

I highlighted five issues we often encounter: 

Treatment of Others, 

Our Words, 

Need for Gratitude (When you have an attitude, you need gratitude), 

Fear and 

Anger. 

 I used popsicle sticks and divided them with food coloring (1/4 c rubbing alcohol 40 drops food coloring) solution into said categories. Once the sticks had soaked and dried, I then wrote the category on one side and a scripture reference on the other. 

Treatment of Others - Undyed 

Our Words - Blue 

Need for Gratitude - Green 

Anger - Red 

Fear - Purple 

Once all of them were completed I added them to a jar and positioned it on the kitchen table. 

We have since added a Bible to the counter, because some days we are looking up a lot of passages. My prayer is that our family will learn scripture as we discipline our lives in these key problem areas. I know if I continue to pray, this can be a fruitful exercise. 

Afterall, Isaiah 55:11 tells us, "so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." 

Here are just a few more verses on the power of the word of God. 

Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. 

2 Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness. 

Romans 1:16 For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.

Joshua 1:8 This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. 

Psalm 119:105 Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. 

Psalm 119:11 I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.

Spiritual Life - A Game of Pick Up Sticks

Someone really special to me is my Pappy. Pappy is my mom's father. When I was 7, due to a string of circumstances, my mom and I moved from our home with the Davidson family in North Carolina to Indiana where our new life included living with my Pappy in his two bedroom trailer. We lived there for 4 years. In that time, my mom gave birth to my sister. The three of us shared a room and a bed on the opposite side of the trailer from my Pappy's room. During those years, my Pappy became a surrogate father to me and my sister. He taught me to ride a bike, we'd go to Dairy Queen together and I would ride his quads and golf carts with him. One of the activities that Pappy invited me to join him in was whittling. My version of this skilled craft was to cut off a few pieces of the wood, then just paint a design onto its surface. Pappy however, would actually carve shapes. 

Years later, Pappy presented me with my very own Cedar carved set of the game, Jack Straws, aka, Pick Up Sticks, that he had carved just for me. It was a game he had that we would play when I lived with him. As an older teen, this gift meant something. It gained even greater value when he was killed two years ago.

 

For those who may not know, pick up sticks is a game where a bunch of different shaped (or colored) sticks are placed in a clump on a hard surface and players must use the hook stick to free sticks from the pile without moving other sticks. The sticks are given value based on their shapes or colors. The person with the most points when all sticks are freed, wins.

I was thinking about this game the other day and saw a spiritual connection.

Our lives are like this game. Each of us have walked through life with fears and insecurities, we've encountered hardships or nasty behaviors from others and through these things we've developed a stack of sticks that need to be examined and "organized" to live a life of stability. When we open our lives to God and allow him to be our Lord, we give him the hook stick. He gently extracts sticks from our clump, but in the process it may shift another stick (issues) in our life. Maybe you are like me and want it all handled at once, but the truth is if God did that, it would destroy us. Maybe also like me, you feel like you have gone to counseling or worked with a mentor to deal with each issue in your life and you've checked it off your "needs to be resolved" list, only to see it come back. It can feel discouraging, but the truth is some issues have multiple sticks and God has to get them all. I can feel discouraged or overwhelmed by the buffet of weaknesses that stands before me. I see the sticks in my life and just want to quit trying. Its in those moments that all of us need to put on some proper perspective. My pile of sticks is smaller than it was 10, 5, or even 2 years ago. Perseverance and humility will aid me in journey of getting to a stickless life.

If you've been discouraged like I get at times (a wave just hit a few weeks back), get a hug from a good friend, adjust your perspective, thank God for the journey that's been cleared and keep on. You are worth the journey and seeing the issues completely healed and dealt with by God. God can and will do the job if you let him.

Remember these words:
Exodus 14:14
"The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still."

Spiritual Life - Focus

Matthew 14:25-33

Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them:“Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” "Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down.Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

Tonight, I was talking to a friend who was just given some pretty tough news. Her heart was broken and as she spoke I could hear the fear in her voice as she looked into the situation with so much uncertainty and resulting questions. This was something I identified with as I often play life out way into the future when there is no guarantee my scenario will even happen. My last words to her were pretty convicting to me. I told her to look at God not at the circumstances. I reminded her that Peter walked on the water as long as he was looking at God. He faltered when he let the waves distract him from Jesus.

Easier said than done, right?!

The truth is, life is extremely hard, there is no guarantee of an easy or even bearable life (the "God not giving us more than we can bear" is often misquoted, but that's a topic for a different day). God makes us the promise that he will NEVER leave us nor forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6). He promises he has a plan for us and we can know he loves us and has our best at heart. This is truth, even when it feels so counter to what sitting in our lap at the moment. I John 4:4 encourages us with the truth that the Jesus in us is greater than our enemy, Satan.

We all face something and that something can and will kick our butts if we let it. But if we look at God, we may just beat those hard licks and tell them whose boss. Jesus spoke to the waves and they listened. Are we speaking into our lives with the command of Jesus or falling prey to whatever befalls? The waves were no match for Jesus, he was bigger and no matter what you face, remember to take heart because our God has overcome the world(John 16:33). If we look to him we will know he's got it and we can live at peace in our challenges, but if we look instead to the trials, we will forget the power that Jesus possesses.

A friend of mine is in ICU as I write getting ready to have a large mass removed from her brain. She struggles with Fibromyalgia every day while being the primary care giver for her father with stage 4 cancer. So needless to say, discovering a brain mass the size of a tennis ball wasn't exactly something she'd hoped to encounter. The amazing thing in all of this is her spirit and her attitude. I am in awe, because I'm not sure I could do the same. She is not letting her circumstances dictate her direction or attitude. She is a true example of keeping her eyes on the Father and trusting him to handle it and to hold her in the process. She's an inspiration!

I love the song, "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus" because its a reminder of what my job is if I expect to survive this thing called LIFE. If you know the song please sing the words below with me, and if its new to you, then read them and be inspired.

Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus
Look Full In His Wonderful Face
And the Things of Earth Will Grow Strangely Dim
In the Light of His Glory and Grace

Only Be Still

Exodus 14:14 - “The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."

It seems sometimes the only way to get good customer service is by being an assertive, and sometimes downright rude! We have been conditioned to push for our way, and to fight for our rights. It’s so pervasive in our culture that it’s just a natural response in certain situations. Unfortunately, this conditioning has left us at a spiritual disadvantage.

When we look at what Jesus did on the cross we see an example of someone else’s act meeting the requirements for our lives. It’s our inaction that makes the cross so powerful – we don’t have to earn it, we just have to accept it. This principle is true for our entire walk with God. It doesn’t mean we become lazy people that just sit on the couch and watch television all day waiting on God to boom in with a great plan. We do need to take initiative in life, but it does mean that his ways are higher than our ways(Isaiah 55) and we must submit to his direction. In moments in life when we are being treated unfairly or slandered, we must trust that God will take on our defense. He will stand for us with his all mighty power. Our human methods will only carry us so far, it is God who will fight for us.

We read in other passages (Psalm 46:10) that it is in stillness that we will know God. How often do you take time to be still? Are you making room in your calendar to wait on and hear from the Lord? Where are you fighting battles in your life that are not your responsibility to fight? Seek direction from the Lord and find rest for your soul (Jeremiah 6:16). When we are doing God’s will, we will be at peace and rest(Matthew 11:20).