God Knows

Surrender is a crazy decision, at least it feels that way, but often its the most amazing step in life we can make.  Obviously, the key to surrender is who you are surrendering too.

I made the decision in two parts to follow Jesus.

Once as a four-year-old enrolled in a Christian preschool.  The teacher told us about Jesus and I still remember that day, thirty-six years later.  The letter of the day was I - for Itchy Ivy.  I also remember going home and telling my mom about making the decision to accept Jesus in my heart.

The second part of that decision was my freshman year of college, when I decided to surrender completely.

The years in between were filled with both learning about Christianity both from a "know your religion" perspective and testing the validity of the historical claims.  It was also filled with relational encounters with God and a lot of bumps in life's road.  The bumps led to some distrust in the God who controlled my life.

It wasn't until a basement experience of crying and journaling that I understood the whole story.   I had misinformation about God in the midst of rough road and my earlier conclusion of distrust was unfounded, though understandable.

I'm pretty sure I just condensed an hour conversation into two paragraphs so if you want to know more about what I mean, feel free to ask.

The thing is, that distrust nature lingers often when I get overwhelmed, stressed or fearful and I can try once again to do it on my own.  This week things didn't go as planned in a few ways and as what I planned changed, I once again saw, God knows.  When I make the plans then turn them into him, and let him do, I find things usually work out when its all said and done.  I'm not talking fairy tale here, we all know life is hard, but what I mean is that God sees the curve balls I don't so often when things change from what I thought I could handle, its because God was preparing me for a curve ball he knew was headed my way.

The friend that cancelled plans, left room for me to process or take care of a need that landed in my lap.  The event I was going too that now couldn't work, would have been too much with life that just happened.  That weekly sports team I felt I shouldn't sign my kid up for this season, proved wisdom in God's leading when random life unraveled and I needed down time to recover.  Or sometimes it works in the positive, as in that conference that my friends had a last-minute open spot to, was just the encouragement I needed.

God knows.

He has the proper perspective: he is both with us and above us.  God is everywhere at all times.  He is not bound my time or distance.  He is with us in the moments and that gives us his protection as well as the shared experience of deeper connection.  He can also see the past, present and future, so looking to him gives us the best shot at moving forward and making choices in life.

Its also freeing.  Its great to sit back and just take it as it comes then to feel frantic in the midst of every turn in life.  This week, I realized, its once again time to surrender.  I have been taking the reigns of life and trying to control what I have no control over. The stress of that unresolved conflict has taken its toll and its time.  Time to let go.

What about you?  Where are you in all of this?  Is it time to trust?  Is it time to surrender?  Maybe you aren't sure about Jesus as more than just some story you've heard about, much less a leader you can trust in life.  If that is you, reach out, I'd love to help you tackle those questions and point you to the resources that have answered my skepticism over the years.  Today is a new day and maybe its time for some new ways in your life.  Happy Wednesday!