Reality is...life is hard. It was never meant to be a Thursday night sitcom, where something dumb happens and we figure it out in 30 minutes. We are going to always have challenges to face. Some are harder than others.
Emotions like fear, anxiety and anger can become dominating forces that seem to wreak havoc in our daily lives.
Dr. Caroline Leaf shares in her book, "Think, Learn, Succeed," that fear isn't a innate emotion but a learned state. We are born into love and fear is a reaction learned from life. She shares this from a scientific place as a neurologist, but I've seen this unfold in my life and understood its truth as I look at my journey.
I wasn't scared of what would happen to my daughter, until the day one month ago yesterday when I was riding in an ambulance to the ER. (Heck, this morning I saw an ambulance pass by with sirens howling and I started to cry just remembering that day). In the weeks since that sudden seizure, I have been met with many fearful thoughts. When she falls or hits her head. When she starts coughing (what she did before the seizure). When she looks like something just isn't right. All of those now bring on an initial fear response. This has illuminated the truth of Dr. Leaf's research.
We don't think in "what if" terms until we are met with the reality of worse case scenario. Fear is an awful beast. It can be a blessing when it signals danger and we are able to use it to fuel wisdom and get out of a bad situation. But fear is often misused to control us in ways that keep us emotionally and sometimes even physically paralyzed from living life. Fear is often a disguised emotion.
In my years in counseling, one of the biggest light bulb moments was when I realized my anger problem, really wasn't an anger problem but a fear and anxiety problem. Anger was the beast emerging from me but it was really a signal of internal panic or even stress. Insecurities, self-imposed pressure or anxiety of the things out of my control unleashed emotions that weren't equal with the weight of the current situation.
I've seen how important our words are but those words first start as thoughts. We have to be detectives in discovering who we are and why we are. This work is important if we ever want to move forward. I recently heard a talk by Mel Robbins, where she asks, "What is the next chapter of your life?" Introspection is the key to moving forward. So many things in the physical world, translate well into our spirit/soul world. Take organizing for example. I don't care who you watch or who your organization Yoda is because they all start at the same place:
If you are going to organize your closet, you first have to get all the clothes and stuff out, then you can determine what you need to keep and get rid of, and then based on what is left decide the right way to organize it.
The same is true for our thoughts and feelings. You have to bring them out of cobb webbs and hiding and find out what is there. Then and only then can you look at what needs to be there and what needs to be replaced.
Dr. Caroline Leaf says thoughts can be redesigned. I love that concept. As long as we keep going in a mindless state, passively allowing life to happen, we will be victims to the mental blocks and bad thoughts that we've allowed to grow.
Being aware of this new fear response, helps me to redesign the thoughts and move forward with confidence. As a Christian I believe in a God who has a plan. It may not always make sense to me, but my God has all the power, but also is a loving God. Love and power together are a safe zone. It doesn't mean that everything will turn out perfect, but it does mean that I can trust him, even when it doesn't. Keeping that fact before me each time I'm faced with my new fear, will be an immense help in finding freedom from the fear.
Take it all out.
If you are going to organize your closet, you first have to get all the clothes and stuff out, then you can determine what you need to keep and get rid of, and then based on what is left decide the right way to organize it.
The same is true for our thoughts and feelings. You have to bring them out of cobb webbs and hiding and find out what is there. Then and only then can you look at what needs to be there and what needs to be replaced.
Dr. Caroline Leaf says thoughts can be redesigned. I love that concept. As long as we keep going in a mindless state, passively allowing life to happen, we will be victims to the mental blocks and bad thoughts that we've allowed to grow.
Being aware of this new fear response, helps me to redesign the thoughts and move forward with confidence. As a Christian I believe in a God who has a plan. It may not always make sense to me, but my God has all the power, but also is a loving God. Love and power together are a safe zone. It doesn't mean that everything will turn out perfect, but it does mean that I can trust him, even when it doesn't. Keeping that fact before me each time I'm faced with my new fear, will be an immense help in finding freedom from the fear.
Replacing thoughts is not some one and done experience. You can't read this blog post, think - great point, and just go on in life. No, there is work that goes into it, that work is daily and takes a while to reach the finish line. Dr. Caroline Leaf says 63 days is the key for those dendrites to rewire and recreate a new conscious mental pathway. (Check her out - just google search and discover the many ways you can learn about all of this from her).
Now its your turn, you have a choice. If you don't do the work and develop new habits, nothing will change. What thoughts do have running amok in your head? Is today the day your evaluate and redesign your thought life? Just know I'm over here with you; a woman in process!
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