Dear Young Girl,

Below is a letter from Carrie today to Carrie of the past:

I want you to know you are beautiful inside and out! You are valuable just because you exist. Our world may devalue you, but please don't join in. God created you with purpose. He has plans for you that go beyond anything you could imagine. Don't allow fear keep you from thinking big and going for God's limitless life of fulfillment. Don't allow people to treat you with disrespect. Don't assume because people treat you badly that you deserve such treatment. Dare to dream and push yourself toward goals even in the face of failure. Failure isn't a bad thing, its a sign that you are going for it all. Set boundaries and dare to say no to things that aren't good for you. Face fears and enjoy life to the fullest. Spend time with your friends and live life to the fullest. Don't let disappointments and heartaches take you down and or say anything about your value. Rejection is a fact of life and happens to everyone. Don't take everything to heart or personal. You will get past this time and much more. So hang on and enjoy the ride.

Memories

Today I was reminded of a song that was one of just a few anthems for me and my roommates junior and senior year in college. The song jettisoned me back to a time I truly loved. My senior year of college was one of the sweetest years in my life. I threw a childlike fit after graduation that it had to end. The memories we shared in that year were some of the silliest things I have done and loved every minute of it. There are memories from every time period in my life or place I've lived that when put together create a beautiful mosaic that makes me who I am - its the moments of great joy that keep me going in hard times. I've been through a lot of difficulty in life and yet I have some of the sweetest memories a person could ask for. We can't live in the past but its great to remember and I am glad we as humans have that ability. What do you need to remember today?

Not A Baby Person - Still In Love

Im not much of a baby person. I know that sounds funny coming from a woman who just had a baby, but having worked with teens for over ten years has made me more comfortable around older kids. I was scared to death about having my son. Its been a challenge but we've done well. People told me I'd miss the newborn stage and I didn't believe them because I felt I couldn't wait until the time we could communicate. The first month with a new baby may very well be one of the toughest things I've faced. The humor in it all is that I look at my 21/2 month old and while I love watching him grow, I do miss his brandnewness (I'm well aware that is not a word) not because I'm suddenly a baby person, but because he's my little guy and he's precious to me. I am so excited to watch him grow, but each day brings such change and I can not get it back. The truth is that the state of anything in life; it just is more apparent with babies. So far being a parent to a new life has helped me see what I can do. It has clarified my perspective to see what is most important it has given me a new love that I'm obsessed with. Yippee!

Curiosity Can Do More than Kill the Cat...

While the phrase “curiosity killed the cat” has its merits, I am afraid that curiosity has gotten a bad rap. Sure, we all yell at the girl in the horror movie not to go after the noise she hears, to run away from danger, and yes curiosity paired with stupidity will surely get anyone into trouble, but curiosity is a good thing. Wise curiosity allows us to know God, the world around us, and ourselves. I love the curiosity in children to get into things, take things apart and to delve into life with a sense of discovery. It’s a beautiful thing to behold and to experience and somewhere in those teen years we become more concerned with how we appear to others and we lose our curiosity at the expense of our reputation. We stifle our inquisitiveness to avoid wandering into a place that might be socially unacceptable. We stumble into curiosities, we never had ourselves, to appear cool to those around us. All that really does is waste precious time. Those years are precious. Curiosity will lead us to purpose and direction. Direction that will get us farther the earlier we find it. Like Austin Gutwein who was curious about those orphaned by HIV/AIDS in Zambia – wondering what it would be like without parents. His questions led him to compassion and to starting up a fundraiser that would change lives – all this at the age of 9. Hoops of Hope, his organization has raised $1 million and counting to build hospitals, schools and provide shelters for the children and people of Zambia. He put his curiosity to good use and allowed himself to seek to answer the question, “What is possible?” The answer was beyond his wildest dreams. The teen years are often seen as the selfish years, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Austin, now 13, is only one example of this principle. There are other examples of teens who have stepped outside of themselves to see what is possible. The great thing is – you could be next? What are you curious about? What could you do to change the world? How are you limiting the possibilities of what you could accomplish? What fears stand in your way? Maybe its time to let the cat out of the bag and seek after what we find curious in God’s word and in his world? What is stifling your curiosity? Ecclesiastes 12:1 says, ”Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, ‘I find no pleasure in them’.” We only get one chance at life and while the going with the flow has its benefits in keeping us from negative emotions, it can also steal an abundant life from our existence. Get out there and live life to its fullest!

The End of Silence

So its been awhile since my last post. In the interim I've had a big life happening. I got pregnant, had a baby and have been adjusting to new life with a baby the past 2 months. I stopped writing after discovering I was pregnant. Last time I got pregnant, I was so excited I shouted the news from the rooftops and then faced a lot of reoccurring pain once I miscarried and had to deliver the news repeatedly. This time I chose to wait until my first appointment to share the news so I laid low but by the time I was ready to share the news I had lost some of my excitement of the moment you first discover the good news. I was honestly nervous the entire pregnancy. While I trusted God I also was worried of repeat. The contrast of both kept me silenced. But I am back and ready to start talking again. I hope to share more of my thoughts with the world. I'd love to have you join me in talking. God bless. - Carrie

Why Dream?

Last year, talking with teens on a local high school campus I had a rather enlightening conversation. I was talking to a girl, who will remain nameless, who told me she didn't dream about the future because she was sure to be disappointed. What good would dreaming do when she would just get hurt in the end? The thing is, she has a point. Why dream? At the time, I was experiencing life in the realm of broken dreams as I watched my dreams shatter as they hit the ground. I pondered her position and see many people live out this position, even if they don't express it. Hope is one of the threads that holds our pieces together. Its the fuel in our car that keeps us going down the road. We don't always see our dreams come true, but pushing through helps transform us to became something amazing. We may also see our dreams come true. I have an almost 4 month old son that is proof that we can dream even when life would say stop. I hope that today's youth will learn to dream and hope and be open to the possibility and be able to fail and learn to pick up the pieces when dreams don't come true. As Mama Cass would say, "Dream a little dream of me, na na na na na na na, na, na, na, na na na na....." Keep the dream the alive.

Familiar City Redefined

I’ve had the privilege to experience planet earth as a playground as I’ve travelled to 27 countries on more than 3 continents. Experiences have made places on the map come alive in my heart and mind; the treasured memories of certain spots have made me downright giddy at the thought of them. When we frequent a city often enough it is cemented in our minds with distinct definition.

This is true for a teenager in my youth group, Jessica Parker. Jessica has ventured around the city of San Francisco most of her 14 years. While she lives 4 hours away, San Francisco has offered an array of experiences journeying with her mother, a florist, to various venders in the area and growing in the knowledge of a city which holds her family’s baseball obsession, The Giants. Close friends have had season tickets all her life and going to games has become a tradition throughout the years in the Parker household. It is a city that Jessica not only knows, but loves. But this past spring something changed.

When Jessica signed up for the youth group trip to San Francisco for Spring Break she had know idea the metamorphosis that was about to take place. We took a small group with leaders from Project Sixty-One, a ministry of YWAM (Youth With A Mission) Pismo, to the YWAM San Francisco base to serve. Though only a few blocks from Union Square the YWAM base sees far less tourist traffic as its sits in the heart of the Tenderloin District. While there are many variations of the story of how the district came to the name of “Tenderloin,” the most commonly accepted is that in years past police officers were paid higher wages to work in that area due to crime rates and nefarious activities. Because of this higher wage they could afford a better cut of meat, the tenderloin.

Needless to say, it’s a rough neighborhood with more than its fair share of homeless, harlots and heroine addicts. During our time there we were granted access to the lives of those on the street as we served hot chocolate and prayed for the needs of the people. We were awakened to the high number of massage parlors being used as store fronts for human trafficking, more specifically sex trade and learned the power of prayer as we walked the streets praying for each of these known locations to be changed into something glorifying to our Creator.

Jessica noted buildings she walked by in the past with no idea that women were being sold for sex inside. During our trip God broke Jessica’s heart for the women of the city. Jessica, a girl not prone to emotion, cried steadily for hours at a time, uncomfortable with this newfound emotion as she felt the pain of others. While her love for the city has not wavered her perspective has changed and she mourns now for the women who cry alone with no hope. In essence San Francisco was redefined and her family’s playground has now become her spiritual battlefield. I am proud to say I saw God grow in all in our group now dedicated to pray for a city in bondage to so many vices.