The Power of Us

"Trending" seems to be a word we hear a lot. To sell your product or even yourself, paying attention to what is trending and getting yourself that title seems to be the name of the game.  

Since the rise of the internet, the trends seem to change at rapid speed.  The culture has shifted from generations to micro-generations and with each new shift, old age gets younger and younger.  

I am blessed by two amazing gifts in my past.  When I was 7, my mom and I moved in with my grandpa and I spent four years of my childhood living with him and spending time with his sisters.  It wasn't your typical childhood, but its an experience that I more deeply cherish the older I get.  I was given an appreciation for people at a variety of ages and the traditions that can be passed down. 

The other gift was travel.  My parents divorced when I was two, but my dad's military career meant that summers where spent wherever the Army sent him.  The last two years of high school, I got the privilege of living with him in Germany.  Travel birthed in me an admiration for different.  I love seeing the many ways "normal" is played out among people groups and cultures around the globe.    

Sure I love to have my way, but I also have an ability to see how the contrast from others can add to my life and my perspective.  

Recently, I've had some conversations that touch on this subject.  We tend to think if something isn't now its not worthwhile.  That couldn't be further from the truth.  Each generation has a skill the ones that bookend it don't have.  The best value comes when we come together.  

Family is an excellent example.  We don't kick grandma out when she gets too old, grandma always has her place.  From birth to death, each age presents a gift that is best treasured when we are together.  

In the church I hear people who are older getting upset when change is mentioned.  They don't want to add the newer ideas to their rituals, but never changing is not a sustainable model. 

On the other end of the spectrum is younger people saying that church must fit a list of the latest offerings.  This perspective is just the same as their older counterparts.  Demanding church be your way fails to appreciate each other.  It fails to embrace different and to love your brother you first must see him.  Instead we must all ask, "how can we take old and new and create something wonderful?"

If we fail to see the gifts in those different from us than we miss the point of the gospel itself.  "For God so loved the world (not just a subsection of it) that he gave his one an only son..." (John 3:16)  

Getting the view of all of God's people expands our view of God.  I'm not saying we all agree or rubber stamp every choice but I am saying that your perspective should include a broader view than your own personal box.  

How can you apply this to your life today or decisions that have yet to be made?  Are you bucking an idea just because its different without further examination of its merits?  Are you dismissing someone in your life because they are too old or too young?  Let's quit using those labels and see the people without the descriptors.  See who they are.  

Happy Wednesday! 

  

What We Can Learn From Elf on the Shelf

I don't personally have an "Elf on the Shelf" in my house.  Its not that I am a hater of the Christmas tradition, I just don't have time for that PLUS I want there to be more of a Jesus focus in my house. Everything else seems to be so focused on the gifts under the tree and that just seems to foster materialism in my kiddos.  I can't do nothing so instead we do have the "Star From Afar" .  Its been fun and seems to help me strike the balance I'm looking for.  Santa does visit this house and my kiddos have their lists for what they want to get from us and Santa this year.  I'm letting you know all of this because as I've been scrolling through my various social media feeds I've seen a variety of perspectives:

- Friends who don't do Santa at all
- Friends, like me, who do Santa but no Elf
-Videos like this one from the (amazing) Holderness Family who have an Elf that's lazy
- Friends that do the Elf with some creativity but nothing anyone is Pinning
- Friends who go Elf crazy with creative feats every night

Here's the thing.  There isn't a right way, there is just personal preference.  Each of us can do it our way without shaming someone else for doing it differently.  We need to model this example in more areas than an Elf on the Shelf.  We all need more grace these days instead of everyone throwing things at their perceived opponent in life's opinion wars.

I definitely applaud the passion and conviction I see in my friends and family.  Heck, have you met me? I usually have an opinion and am willing to rant at the invitation (or perceived invitation - ha!)

But let's take a minute and hear each other out and realize there may be 5 variations of doing things, 5 plus opinions on each subject and we might actually learn something from a person in a different category than us.

Before you call someone a moron for thinking xy or z, stop and ask, how they see it?  Sometimes we have to put ourselves on pause and look deeper to see someone else.  Sure, it may not change our minds (I am not getting an Elf just because my friends have one and are rocking their elf morning findings), but I can appreciate others even in our differences.

Take for example the "Baby It's Cold Outside" debacle.  I read the lyrics and I can completely see rape culture in there, and yet when I read an article from the daughter of the song writer, I saw that the culture of that day meant something different and maybe instead of banning the song we just open discussion and teach our kids to dig deeper and discover the messages beyond our own framework of understanding.  Words 60, 20 and even 2 years ago don't always mean the same thing as when we encounter said words, so learning to inject culture in our understanding is a major life skill. 

I know some of you may think, "Carrie grow a backbone and pick a side." There are times when I do, do just that, but we have become too polarized and need to take a minute and find a way to work together.  Can we respect people we don't agree with?  I say yes! We need to practice respectfully disagreeing.  That might take a step away from the computer (funny as you are reading this on a screen), but finding balance in spending time with actual people versus virtual time, is important because it reestablishes an ability to see the person and not just pummel thoughts behind the protection of a screen.

Let's learn something from the Elf on the Shelf beyond that is poops Hershey kisses and takes marshmallow baths.  What areas of life do you need to check out other view points for the purpose of appreciating difference and allowing yourself to see the person and not just the issue?  You got this.  Now go out there and have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! 

What Do You See?

This week I got back from a week in Arizona.  My friend and I went on a road trip for our 40th! I forgot how much I loved road trips.

As a kid, I did several with my dad and stepmom.  Military life means moving and it also means being in new, unexplored areas.  Road trips are a great way to experience different cultures see the beauty around us.  Let me say, this trip let me meet people from around the world as well as see some amazing sights! I loved having planned parts of our journey and spontaneous moments that let the road take us on a beckoning adventure.

I also had a lot of time to think, particularly about seasons.  I don't mean fall, spring, winter, summer, but instead life seasons.

I commented to my friend as we started our journey that I didn't take full advantage of the freedom I had before husband and kids.  I just didn't realize how remarkable the freedom to make decisions and be spontaneous really was when I was in my early twenties. I had a lot of fun adventures, so I don't feel I wasted that time, but I just didn't appreciate it to the fullest.

Far too often we set our focus on what we don't have, not on what we have.  In those years, I was desiring a husband and family and the uncertainty of that reality felt daunting and often distracted me from the life before me.  In contrast its easy now to see what I had then as I live life with my family.  I miss my ability to think most days and have freedom to just be, but truthfully I am sure one day I would trade my quiet thoughtfulness for the noise of my children.  Again, its easy to get caught up in what's missing.

Recognizing the value of your current season allows you to be present in life.  As my grandma Pat often said, "You can do it all, just not at the same time."  Living in the now is the best way to get all of the blessing out of life.  Now, I love the connection I share with those who live in my home.  I love seeing the joy of life through the eyes of my kids in places that have become everyday for me.  I love hearing my kids giggle and seeing them just be kids.  I love being a mom! Sure I get overwhelmed or frustrated when I'm being disobeyed, and its easy to desire the freedom that was before they were.  If I focus on what I don't have now, I will miss out on my motherhood that I can never get back.  I can also miss out on the friendship with my husband and the way we co-parent our children.

Having a vacation with my friend was an amazing blessing and break from the norm and it allowed me to remember parts of myself that have been dormant.  It also helped me to feel appreciative for my current life season.  Tomorrow it will no longer be an option, so I best enjoy today to the fullest.

What is your reality?

Are you looking at what's missing or what is there?

There are obviously things we can't control.  Sure, you see your friends with jobs able to spend more on stuff for themselves, but they miss out on the classroom time you have.  Sure, single parenthood is a challenge but maybe you get more time to yourself or alone time with your kids.  I'm not saying ignore the negatives in life and just plaster a Pollyanna face on throughout the day to day, but embrace the beauty of whatever your life is TODAY.  Tomorrow will come soon enough and moving forward is the only direction we can truly go, so if we disengage from today, we will lose it forever!

Take some time to think about what you have now?  How can you appreciate it more than you currently do?  Happy contemplating!