Time to Say Goodbye

Just before my junior year of college at TCU, I flew out during Summer Break to a city called Visalia, CA.  My parents had just moved to Visalia from El Paso, TX.  Transition was upon us as my dad retired from the Army and traded his parish church on Post as a Chaplain for a civilian congregation as a pastor.  I remember driving to a gated community as my stepmom showed me the beginnings of what would be their home.  It was a new subdivision and their's was one of the first homes going up.

In the interim, they were staying at a mobile trailer with my two sisters on the ranch of a family at the church my dad would be the pastor of.  The Johnson's were kind enough to host us and I lived in that trailer with them during my visit.

I had no idea I would move to that same city just a year and a half after graduation.  I had no idea I would move into the guest house in that home that was being built, and I had no idea I would be a youth pastor at the same church my dad pastored.  None of those realities floated in my thoughts about the future.

Here I am eighteen years later, having lived in Visalia myself for over fifteen years, watching on as I stay here with my husband and kids, working the same job that had me moving here all those years ago as my parents say goodbye.

My dad is retiring from the church and the two of them are moving to Texas, this time near San Antonio.  While my dad's last day as Pastor isn't until September 30th, their home has sold and they find themselves in the same place they started: back on the Johnson's Ranch in the same mobile home.

Yesterday, they sent this picture as the last photo in front of the house that had become my home as well.  It is time to say goodbye.

Truly, I am not ready.  While I spent my childhood and young adult years traveling and going between homes and states and even countries, Visalia is the place I've lived the longest.  I have become used to working with my dad and living less than two miles down the road.  I've gotten accustomed to having them at every holiday and all the little moments in life in between.  I have watched on as my kids have fallen in love with their grandparents and giggle at the prospect of seeing them several times a week.  I love the joy in my son's face to have his grandparents there for special events at school and my heart is broken at all of that going away.

But here I stand in reality and life is changing once again.  It is time to say goodbye.

Yes, I may be more sentimental than most, but I am not the only one on earth that struggles with emotions about reality.  The best thing I can do and you can do as well is process those emotions.  Ignoring them or rationalizing them away doesn't actually make them go away.  My parents have a great house being built and there will be new adventures ahead but I can't just trade my sadness for joy like a can an item at Target.

Processing emotion also doesn't mean moving and staying put at that emotion for life, instead its exploring and experiencing with the intent to move on.  This is an emotional season that I want to work through so when it is over, its over.  I hope you are able to be present in your life.  Be honest with your support network about where you are and allow others to help you on your journey.  This too, shall pass!   Happy Wednesday and I'd love to hear your emotional journey.  Send me a message or leave a comment!!!