Bible Mistranslation, Goals and Self-Care

Eli, Eli, lemana shabakthani! (Matthew 27: 46, Mark 15:34)

This phrase is uttered by Jesus on the cross and is often translated in the Bible verse as meaning:

My God, My God, why have you forsaken me!

It was always explained to me that Jesus said that because God had turned away from him because God couldn't look at sin, however, that really makes no sense.  Why? Well, for one thing, Jesus is God, just in another form.  So if that is true how can one form not look at sin, but the other be on a cross bearing the sin of the world? Also, if God's whole point of creation is to have a relationship with humans, by nature, sinful creatures, how can that work if God can't look at sin?  It just doesn't seem to fit the character of God or the rest of the Bible.  Turns out, its been misquoted.

I've mentioned before that I am reading, Light Through An Eastern Window, by Bishop K.C. Pillai and while I was reading in Chapter 5 (page 67) where he discusses this very passage above.  I then opened my Peshitta  Bible translation to follow along and see that Eli, Eli, lemana shabakthani, is actually mistranslated.  What is really says is, My God, My God, for this I was spared, or this is my destiny or even, it is fulfilled.

That translation makes more sense when in John 19:30 Jesus is quoted as saying, It is finished.  Jesus like any man on a mission, was stating that he had finished what He was sent to do.  I love this!

So what does this have to do with self-care?  Well, last month our theme was goals and I think this Bible passage is a great message in the middle of everything we've been talking about.

God had a mission: make a way for humans to get back to him. Jesus came as the final sacrifice, atonement if you will, so that our relationship established in the Garden of Eden could be restored.  Satan, our enemy, had gotten in there and blocked our path, but God protected us from our enemy and in true God form, provoked his enemy to help him fulfill his mission so that he could go on the cross, die for us, then 3 days later come back to life and go back up to heaven, leaving the other form of God - the Holy Spirit, with those of us who accepted this gift.

Jesus knew his goal, he knew what he was here to do and he did it.  Along the way he trained leaders, met the needs of the people he created and loved, and he pissed the religious leaders off, you know the ones claiming to represent him, but really just living for themselves and using religious laws to get what they wanted.

Jesus, is recorded in various passages in the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) as going to a solitary place and getting away from the crowds.  He met physical as well as spiritual needs when he was with crowds, because in the midst of meeting the mission, he knew the value of taking care of our physical bodies.

You will never meet your goals and fulfill your life mission if you neglect your body, your spirit and your soul.  Self-care is not just a plain way of talking about pampering.  Its actually being mindful of the tools we need and using them with wisdom.  Our body is the vessel that houses our spirit.  It has needs of food, water, rest.  The spirit and mind need quiet meditation and time from the go, go, go and draining moments of emotions of others or even our own.

Let us learn from Jesus, and not only stay focused on our job, our mission in life, but also care for the needs of ourselves and those who cross our path.

Where are you lacking?   Do you have goals and a life mission or are you aimlessly floating through life?  That is easy to do, we have more distractions than any other time in history.  Are you staying focused on that mission and are you caring for your needs so that you can do what you were called to do?  What would it mean for your mission to be completed?  If you can't answer that, maybe its time to get in prayer and Bible study and ask God to show you.  Maybe you don't know who you are? Then its time to take the personality tests and learn about how you tick, what you need and what kinds of things bring you joy or get you excited to go out and conquer the world.  Life is hard, like we discussed last week, so stay encouraged and keep going!!! Happy Wednesday!

The Hardest Goal to Accomplish

Do you have a goal or New Year's Resolution that always seems to be on your list and never gets crossed off because you miss it every time?

What is it?  

Have you ever really thought about why it never gets done?  Sure laziness may be involved, but laziness isn't the biggest obstacle - we are.  Each of us have something in us that we are afraid to face and look at and I'm not sure we always know what it is because as we get close to it we just run away, never looking deeply into it.  It usually has roots in our value. 

I don't get that job because I can't answer the question, "Why would anyone hire me?" 

I don't go for that passion because what if I'm not enough.

I can't de-clutter because besides asking about Joy, going through my stuff makes me face my past.

I can't get organized or finish a big task because procrastination keeps me from having to face my fear that I am not good enough to do it.

Guess what?! I know these statements or variations of them in my own life and I hear them in those coffee conversations with friends and acquaintances.  I heard so much of this echoed in the writings and talks of Brene Brown because its something many of us experience in our own way.

If we want to accomplish something we first have to have the courage to face the monster keeping us from it.

Get out a piece of a paper and write out the worst case scenario.  What is it?  What is so scary about it?   Ask yourself "so" until you get at what is really at the core. Is it really the end of the world? Usually its worse in our heads than it is in reality.  If that was the worst for your friend, what would you say to them?

 Okay, now write out the opposite of your worst case scenario or whatever you were left with after asking "so".  Is that statement believable? Is it possible?  Is it worth going for?  Are you aiming at the right thing? Everytime you hear the worst, tell yourself the best!  Mentally you need to equip yourself and replace the scripts that have been playing in your mind.   

You, just being you, is enough, maybe not to solve the world's problems but definitely to meet the needs of those who need you - your tribe.  

Do you know who they are?  If you are unsure of this go out and read, "This is Marketing" by Seth Godin.  That book is full of deep questions to penetrate those unearthed areas of your soul.  We no longer have to touch the masses, we just have to reach out to those who need us, that "micro-market" as Seth calls it.  

Who are you?  Why are you valuable?  What do you add to the world? If you don't know the answers to these questions, you won't get far.  Start from the beginning and master that, then move forward. The answers to these basic questions aren't just important for your goal-meeting missions but also for your relationships with God, others and yourself.  God clearly shares with us in scripture that we were made with purpose.  Some of us just roam through life unaware of that purpose and let me say that is no way to live.  Make the years you have count! 

Are you living up to your potential? Are you moving forward or just treading proverbial water? Where are you stuck?  Take some time and find out that core matter so you can build on something solid! Happy Wednesday!! 

When We Miss the Mark

This month as we talk about goals, its important to mention those times when we miss the mark.  Goal setting, goal planning, goal meeting also includes goal missing. 

Guess what, when you go for a goal and you miss it, its something to celebrate! What - you may be asking?  Each failure is a lesson and if we made any progress that is worth celebrating.

So you wanted to lose 100 lbs and lost 30, hey that's 30 lbs!  Maybe you gained 30 pounds and didn't lose anything, did you learn that you need accountability or need to face some issues first and then lose weight?  That is still progress!!!!

If I've said it once, I've said it 3 billion times - Perspective is crucial to life!!!

I can't tell you how often I've let life failures or public opinion speak to my worth more than God's word and loving reflection.  

When I see failure as a step towards a lesson or growth, I'm doing so much better than when I see failure as a negative message about my value or abilities.

I will fail, you will fail.  It doesn't mean we stop trying, it just means we gather what we learned, we figure out a different way and we go - again!!!!

Sunday, I overheard a children's lesson leader share a message with kids about God.  I honestly can't remember the lesson, and its because a throw away comment that was made, hit me between the eyes. She talked about New Year's Resolutions and how most people never keep them.  They way she said it, it sounded like she was saying, why even try?  I don't know what her intention was and that's not the point.  A lot of people do think, why even try?  I'm just gonna fail!  Well better to have tried and failed than to have never even tried!!!!

It actually reminds me of a parable (a lesson story in the Bible) where a King went away and gave his servants money.  When he returned two of his three servants showed him how they used his money and earned more.  He rewarded their use of the money.  The third servant got scared and didn't even try and even the money that he had was taken from him.  (Luke 19:12-27)

Not trying for fear of failure shouldn't even be an option.  

The story isn't about money but its about what we do with the talents and life we've been given and the message of God we are to share in our relationships with others.  

What are you not doing because you are afraid you will fail?

What have you failed that discouraged you and you need to re-evaluate and celebrate?

Life is too short to be down all the time.  God says, "...I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."  John 10:10 

There will always be challenges we have to face and life is hard, so we don't need to add to that! Go fail, learn and grow!!! You are amazing and that doesn't change when we miss the mark!

Begin with the End In Mind

Friday, I was at a funeral.

Sidebar: I've actually been to more of those than the average person. I have a big family, so growing up I was always at a funeral for some great uncle or aunt, and over the past sixteen years, I've worked at a church with a sizable elderly population.  That means a lot of funerals.

I know a lot of people hate funerals.  Truthfully, I really love what a funeral reminds me of.
* It reminds me of my purpose in life.
* I also love honoring people.  You always learn more about someone and the life they led.  Any life is worth celebrating, because there something good in everyone.
*Showing up for them and their families feels like an amazing gift too.

Friday, I was reminded that one conversation or even smile can make an impact for 40 to even 70 years in the heart and life of those around us because we never know what insignificant thing to us makes an impact in the life of someone else.

When I was in college, I remember being asked to write out my eulogy.  I've done it with the teens in my youth group over the years too.  I mean, how can we know if we are on track unless we look at where we want to be.  We only get so many years, are we making the most of the journey?  I don't believe in reincarnation so I don't think I will get another shot.  This life is it.

Looking at what we want in the end also lets us see what we've already accomplished. That is a great encouragement.

Besides the eulogy, there's also asking the question: What do I want people to say at my funeral?

What do you want people to remember?

When we look at goals, sometimes we become too short-sighted and just think what we want right now and forget long-term perspective.  Life is a marathon, not a sprint.

For me, relationships matter most.  I love my relationship with Jesus, my Savior and the beautiful people in my life.  I cherish people and making an impact in their lives, and that is what I want in the end.

What do you want your eulogy to say?  Write it, post it where you can see it and be reminded where you want to go.  It helps in getting there!

God bless you this fine January day! Make the most out of the one life you get, because trust me, it matters!!!

Reaching

Happy New Year everyone!

This year, I've decided to set themes each month - my essential oil classes, videos, and writing will focus around the themes (okay so I will probably share random thoughts as well), but I really want to aim at meeting the needs of the people I encounter in ministry, in business and in life.

This month, our focus is goals.  I started a Facebook group for women called, Women Together and my hope is to facilitate conversation and connection through the group.  We started the goal-talk discussion on there and later this month, I will be doing a local oil class centered around participant discussion on our goals.  Of course, we will talk them here too!

It might sound a bit expected and even cliche to discuss goals in January.  But a fresh start is great, even if its just a calendar doing so.  We are highly suggestive people and I do believe the hype of a new year can inspire us to go for it.

The problem is we often set lofty goals for ourselves and then get easily discouraged when they don't work out.

Listen to any goal-setting guru (I love Michael Hyatt, Seth Godin & Marie Forleo) and they will tell you goals need to be measurable. They need to set a long-term goal and benchmarks for how you will get there.

I found this photo on unsplash (one of my favorite websites for free photos to use)

It lingered in my mind because of the reach out into nothing.

That is what we often do.  I do think we need to dream big and imagine what could be.  What would you want your life to look like?  If your life was a basket what you want it filled with?  What is in it that needs to go?  These are questions that we should get into the habit of asking.  Move forward in life - don't settle for status quo unless status quo is what you want.

But if all we do is reach out into nothing, we will never have anything.  We must mark a plan for how we will reach that goal.

So here is my assignment for you and for me.

Write out your big cloud dreams - then decide how you can quantify that.

So if you want to lose 120 lbs, maybe you do that in the next 2 years.  Which means 60 lbs a year, which mean 15 pounds every three months.  So then you have to figure out calories taking in, which food choices, how much you will work out, when you will work out...dream big, but know it takes work and planning, but in the end its worth it!

The journey along the ride is also an amazing gift!

I'd love to hear from you.  What are your goals?  What is in your basket?  What have you always dreamed of but never gone for?  What is stopping you?

Are you excited for 2019?  Let's start this year with a dream and work the rest of the year to see how we can build it!

Meet me here next week!!! Happy Wednesday!

Before You Make Resolutions

I made a comment in a recent post about the damage of perfectionism.  I mentioned how living in the perfectionism world, kept me from getting to know myself.  I didn't realize until after I'd written the post just how profound that concept really was.  It's lingered in my mind and heart ever since.  I'm working on a book right now about the art of knowing ourselves and until I wrote that sentence I never gave much thought to the hurdle of perfectionism in the journey to self-awareness.

This perked my interest again as I thought about this next week.  By the time I write again next week, it will be a new year.  People will be hot on the trail of whatever resolutions they have set for themselves.

The thing is, come February, most people will be back to pre-resolution status quo.

Perfectionism and comparison seem to have some culpability in this quick rebound. Far too often we see the common resolutions and we see what others are aiming at and we jump on the bandwagon.  Its not just because we want to do what others are doing, in fact, I don't think that is our motivation.  We see what we hope to have, we see others going for it and we decide to join them.

So what's the problem with that?  We don't factor ourselves into the equation.

I need to lose a good 40 pounds, but honestly, that is no where on my goal list at the moment.  Its important but its taken a back seat to my zeal for mental and emotional health goals.  Being in a good head space and hitting other marks is more in my sights.

I have to take the time to look back and see what this past year's journey has been and celebrate the journey.  I can tell you I didn't always walk the path I started, wandering off course did happen for me in 2018, but not in a bad way.  I consciously decided in some places through out the year to change course.

I have to take the reality of this last year into consideration as I look to the year ahead.  If I want to aim at something big, I've got to count the cost, and decide if that is worth it.  I also have to have a plan to do what I want to do or its really just a fun conversation more than it is an actual goal.

Please don't just jump on the common resolution bandwagons.  Take some time to:

1. Take yourself into account (and if you don't know yourself that well, then maybe that should be your goal).

2. Consider what you did this year.  Do you want to stay at the same pace?

3. Count the cost - in order to change that pace you have to decide if its worth the sacrifice.

4. Plan how you will accomplish your goals.  Set benchmarks and deadlines for that so you will stay motivated.

5. Get someone to hold you accountable and do it with you.  Alone means you probably won't get it done.

Share with me something on your list.  I'd love to hear it.  My priorities are organizing my space and eliminating clutter.  I also want to get most if not all of my book done this year.  I want to be consistent and keep it simple, eliminating distractions.  Now its your turn.  Comment below or message me!!! I want to hear from you.

Failure

As a woman with perfectionist tendencies, the word, "failure" is often a four-letter word in my world.  However, it shouldn't be.  Failing at things can be a lifeline if we know how to use it properly.  

When I fail at something I get a view into what doesn't work.  If I am intentional not to let it feed my identity and take the lesson its trying to offer, I can make necessary adaptations and re-aim at my goal.  

I am one who believes far too often we would be better served if we used physical metaphors to help us navigate emotional issues.  For example, when I trip and fall while walking down the street, I may give a sheepish, embarrassing look around as I get up and dust myself off, but I do get up, make the necessary adjustments, and keep going.  I don't sit and cry and ask everyone why I fell.  I don't stay there on the sidewalk for hours, days or years.  However, when I make a life misstep, I do find myself staying put in a fit, mourning my mishap.  Taking a clue from physical life tells me to get up, fix what needs it and keep going.  

Perfection is not and never should be a life goal.  Perfectionism doesn't lead to happiness, instead it leads to lifelessness! The last thing we want is a globe full of Stepford Wives  roaming around.  Where is fun in that?  Life, a full life, is messy!  

Jerry Bridges in his book, "The Pursuit of Holiness" shares a truth I often quote because it speaks to the heart of me, "A failure is not someone who fails, but someone who stops trying."  In contrast, Albert Einstein is often quoted as saying, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results." Both of these quotes can serve as bookends to the topic of failure.  

If we look at failing as the definition of being a failure, we will never succeed in tackling our goals in life.  We must view a failure as someone who stops trying and use that definition to propel us to move forward.  We must also be brave enough to examine those moments we fail so we can try someone new in our next attempt.  Doing the same thing over and over again (whether it truly was Albert Einstein who said it or not) is the definition of insanity.  We must change our approach, perspective, words, behaviors, response, or all of the above as we head out on our redo.  

Do you need a little grace today?  Are you too hard on yourself when you make mistakes?  Do you need to go out and fail so you can discover what it truly takes in making your dreams reality?  Getting good at failing will also show us that it has no barring on our personal value.  

Tripping on the sidewalk doesn't make me a horrible person, it just makes me human.  Missing that job opportunity, going bankrupt, getting dumped, failing a class doesn't make us bad people, it just means we are in fact, people! 

The one class in college I had to retake did cost me extra, but getting the grade replaced on my transcript wasn't the only reward.  I hated the first Sociology 101 class I took.  It was awful!!! When I retook it with a different professor at a different time, I found that I loved the class.  The curriculum was completely different and I learned some valuable information.  Had I let that "D" stand, I would have never had the great experience that came at the end of my failed first attempt.  

Can you think of a time that a failed experience led to a new beautiful reality?  Take some time and soak this in and allow it to change your perspective.  Is there a recent failed moment that you aren't gleaning enough from?  Have you let the failure stop you from trying?  Please hear me when I say, don't quit.  You can succeed and I'm guessing someone else needs this lesson from you.  Go get it!!! 

Dream With Me

I’m currently working on a book.  I have tons of books that are waiting to come out of me, but its taken me a long time to decide what my first book will be.  I’ve been writing all my life.  The beauty in that, is that my book isn’t comprised of fresh words from my heart and head, but a mixture of old and new.  Much of my book has been written over the course of my life - I now just have to piece it together. 

As I have combed through my earlier work, I have discovered some new truths about myself.  

I’m 39 years old and I still don’t know “what I want to be when I grow up.”  That has always troubled me because I feel like that answer should be an easy one.  I know who I am and how and why I tick so why doesn’t that easily translate to what is ahead?  I grapple with future goals and how I want to leave my mark on the world.

I think its a “D: All of the above” situation and while I have known a few of the answers D comprises, it wasn’t until today that something clicked with that final piece.  

A: I have a lot of talents so narrowing down is a challenge - knew that. 

B: I love things that are outside of the box so finding my workspace isn’t as easily defined - knew that.  

What I didn’t know surprised me.

C: I couldn’t dream of what I wanted to do because my dream was to escape the crazy train life and just be normal.  That isn’t to say I wanted to be like everyone else, I just wanted to be someone who didn’t have to fear daily life.

I was a girl who lived scary circumstances and that reality replaced future dreams of career with future dreams of normalcy. 

When I look at option C, I realize, I’ve already passed that test and attained that goal.  Life isn’t perfect and it isn’t always pretty.  There may not be a literal white picket fence in my front yard, but I live in a nice home, with a husband who loves me and three wonderful kids who share the other rooms of the house.  I have a relationship with an amazing God, am supported by a great community and there is always food on the table (usually enough to share).   I have what I dreamed to one day have.  

So its time for a new dream. Its time to explore the possibilities.  

What about you? What are your dreams?  What's getting in the way of those dreams?  I don’t know if you are old enough to know who Mama Cass is, but I can close my eyes and hear her voice singing, “Dream a little dream of me..”  

Dream (and sing) with me. Be sure to share them with me - I want to hear them!!!  

Shut Out The Noise

Tomorrow my son turns 6!  That is crazy for me because it feels like yesterday that I was sharing the news of my pregnancy after years of trying to conceive.  Caleb was born at 9:02am.  Every year since that day we have celebrated his birthday with breakfast at Corner Café, a local breakfast spot, and met in front of the hospital at 9:02am with a cupcake to sing, "Happy Birthday," to our boy.  It is a special time and I love the tradition and celebration of this amazing life now built into my daily existence. 

Not everyone I share this tradition with takes it with the same excitement it gives me.  Often I am met with a scoffing remark letting me know they think this tradition is silly. If I let it, I can allow their negativity or mocking tone steal the joy I have in this part of our celebration or even be tempted to do away with our ritual.   In other areas and times in my life, I have actually allowed someone's negative response to keep me from doing just what I shared with them.  I don't know if you have ever experienced something like this, but while reading the Bible this week, I was encouraged to see Jesus even had his own version of these life happenings. 

Matthew 9 shares a story of a synagogue leader who came to Jesus after his daughter died.  He asked Jesus to come and heal her so she may live.  Jesus went into the leader's house and was me with a noisy crowd.  He told them to go away for she was not dead but sleeping.  The crowd's response was to laugh at him.  Then in verse 25 it says:

"After the crowd had been put outside, he went in and took the girl by the hand, and she got up. News of this spread through all that region." 

Please NOTE:

1. It didn't say, "when the crowd left willingly." 

Picture for me a party at someone's house.  Asking the crowd to leave does nothing.  You have to force them out.  Its this same thing concept that I expect happened in this story.  The crowd was put outside.  They were probably made to leave.  Jesus asking them to leave so he could heal her only elicited laughter, not compliance. 

Sometimes, we have to force the negative people out of our lives.  Maybe it means getting off of social media, leaving an event or conversation, or not sharing your life with certain people.  When people don't respect our boundaries, we have to take action to protect our boundaries. 

2.  The Crowd Did Sway Jesus

Jesus didn't allow the negativity of a crowd distract him from his mission and purpose.  He knew what he could do, and he intended to follow through.  He stayed and he healed the girl. 

Anyone who makes their mark in society or in the lives of people does so by going against the current.  That means following through on what you set out to do.  Maybe your dream isn't inline with family expectations.  You have to respectfully stand your ground and do what you know you were made to do.  This can be as simple as my birthday tradition or as big as moving to another country to start a business or non-profit.  Don't allow the opinions of others to sway you.  (Please note: There is a difference between seeking wise counsel and following the voice of masses). 

3.  The Order Of Events

What most struck me in this passage was first, he put the crowd outside, then he healed the girl.  Jesus could have easily healed her in the midst of the noisy crowd.  He didn't.  It doesn't say exactly why, but I can only imagine that even though Jesus was God, because he was also human, the crowd was a distraction and their presence could have tempted him to doubt.

Now, I may very well be wrong about Jesus, but my speculations do apply to us.  Very often to re-focus on the goal and retain the confidence in our aim, we must first silence the noise.  When we allow the noise of popular opinion to cloud our judgement, we find ourselves joining the crowd instead of standing up for what we know to be right or our purpose or even what we want to do to celebrate a big event.   Regardless of what the crowd that stands mocking you looks like, you must first put them outside, then do what you set out to do. 

Too often we allow the opinions of others to stand in our way of our own confidence in our unique abilities and personality.  We were never intended to be someone else.  We must allow ourselves the space to be the beautiful person we were created to be. 

I hope this truth and story met you with the same encouragement that it gave me!!  May this be a great day!!!