The Toddler Vibe

Ironically, I began writing this before our world got flipped upside-down with COVID-19.  It just seemed to become even more relevant afterwards.  So here is a mix of what I started writing few months ago with edits and additions today.

It started with a conversation I had with friends (face-to-face - do you remember when we could do that). One of them has an almost adult child that has had a ton of crazy stuff thrown her way.  My friend is trying to navigate parenting and is facing some major challenges.  As we discussed, another friend mentioned that maybe the challenge they faced was there because it was the only thing that she could control.

If you've had children or are around them, you know, that toddlers tend to cause problems in areas of food and potty.  Why?  Because that is what they can control.  Life is pretty much in the control of everyone around them, and powerless is a hard feeling.  You don't need years on earth to figure that one out, it seems just baked in from birth.  

Very little in life is in our control.  When life is going well, we can trick ourselves into believing we are in control, but even the most disciplined person faces obstacles they have little to no control over.  

Sickness, financial changes, loss, weather, crime...all of these things, and more, are things that we can't control.  We work to do what we can to help lesson the damage or cushion against the hardship headed our way, but truly eliminating trials just isn't an option.

Crazy just how true that is, now that we are all quarantined in our homes.  Truly knowing the hard feeling of powerlessness, is real for so many of us.  You may find yourself grasping for what you can control or throwing toddler-like fits over little things just because they are all you have left to hold onto right now.  Maybe you now have a toddler at home and are face to face with constant fits with no breaks because they don't understand why we can't go anywhere.

So how have you adopted your own toddler vibe?  All of this has shown me just how controlling I am.  I have my ways for grocery shopping and getting life done and all of they craziness in stores has disrupted that and I don't like it.  I've organized photos, DVD's, CD's etc because, sure, I'm not going anywhere, but mainly because its something I can control.

What does the toddler vibe show us?  I think when we understand it fully we can take a step back and look at our lives.

We can acknowledge the loss in our circumstances and grieve that loss.

We can create new rules and expectations for the current reality.

Then we can focus on what we can control.

Right now, I can avoid getting sucked into the drama and fear surrounding me, be informed and respond, rather than react.  I can be intentional with my time and focus on the beauty in slowing down.  I can have a good attitude in the face of hardship and nasty attitudes, because my attitude is something I can always control.  I can enjoy the beauty of my family and extra time with my kids before they get so big and grow up that I won't have them anymore.  I can reminisce about life in the 80's before the internet.  A lot of things weren't perfect then, but life was slower and that was better for us.

So now its your turn?  What in your life, whether COVID-19 or other life related, is out of your control?  What are you grasping for?  What do you need to grieve and how can you refocus?  What can you control?

Let's be honest, this sucks!  I'm not always sure its being handled the best way, and even the experts can't agree, but I can lean into God.  He's always in control.

This being Easter week, I got some great perspective because last Sunday being Palm Sunday, was a celebration.   As Jesus entered the city, people were out to honor him.  He was thought to be the promised Messiah  (which he was), but their expectation of what the promised Messiah would do and what we actually did, didn't coincide.  So when he was sent to die, they turned on him and instead of shouting, "Hosannah," they shouted, "Crucify Him!"  I guess that was their own toddler vibe.

But God hadn't disappointed them.  He wasn't doing what they were asking for and yet he was doing so much more.  By dying on the cross he became the last sacrifice needed.  He gave his life for us.  No more sacrifices needed.  He was and is the way!  But he didn't stay dead, he arose!!!  He was and is alive.  Whether we are congregated in our homes or in buildings we call churches, we are still the church and maybe this change in tradition can give us some fresh perspective on what Easter really means!  God bless each of you! 

From Not Enough to Full of Life

I grew up in the church and from birth until now, I've gone to at least 11 churches in my life with all the moving and adjusting, and I would say a majority of them were amazing places.  While my current church is home, my childhood church in Ohio, still is my church in a lot of ways, because I not only learned about God, but I felt safe there.  I felt accepted and loved and I trusted the people to not only know the Bible, but to live it.

Even with that love, I was the girl who went forward for prayer or to confess something every week at the end of the service.  I lived in fear of messing up and some of the dysfunctional experiences I walked, messed with my sense of self and skewed the filter that I used, to view life and even the Bible.

That skewed filter kept me thinking I was doing something wrong.

"I must have too much fear if I don't feel the love of God."  

"I must not be trusting God enough because I don't feel his peace."  

"I must be wrong because I don't fit in that Christian box I see everyone else living in." 

I was reading my Bible, going to church, and was in Christian school and some of the things I thought I was supposed to get, do or be as a Christian just weren't happening. 

I recently listened to a sermon online by Steven Furtick on trusting God's timing. In his message, he mentioned some things we believe in that simply aren't true.  At one point in his sermon he said: 

"Your mind is collecting evidence for a verdict that is no longer accurate." 

The bell went off in my head.  I am the woman I am today because of the Bible plus good counseling and a team of supportive people in my life. Here's the thing, Jesus is the answer; God's Word is the lamp unto our feet, but if we've been through some hard life and have ended up believing in lies about who we are, we aren't in the place to receive the Word of God in our lives.  Some good Christian counseling helped fix the filter that was impacted by the sinful world I was born into and I believe God walked me through it all.  The Bible and a bad filter, can make the Bible a weapon in our hands instead of the good news of the Gospel (Gospel literally means good news).  Jesus' saving us in the greatest act of love is an amazing gift.  

This simple reality is what motivated me to write the book I'm working on now entitled, "Mesearch," self-discovery might not be our ultimate pursuit in life, but it may be a necessary journey to get on the right path in seeking God.  

God is gracious to me.  He created this world and said it was good at each turn (Genesis 1) but sin also entered this world and so many of us encounter lies about our world and ourselves that cloud the ability we have to see the truth.  We are in fact doing what Steven Furtick is quoted as saying.  We have believed in a lie, maybe unknowingly, and we are collecting evidence to now support it.  

Instead we need to reach toward truth, and sometimes that takes something like Psychology to get us to the point of seeing the truth.  God created it all and that includes the minds to think and the science behind how our world (and we) operate.  Counseling is not bad, in fact, when you seek counsel from someone qualified and in line with your belief system, you are only aiding your spiritual life.    

I know we can take the self-care and self-discovery too far, but I also know denying it or assuming those around us come at life from the same place we do, is naive.   I know for years I felt unworthy of compliments and self-care.  I wasn't denying myself to serve God, I was doing so because I didn't think I mattered enough to have it.  Now, standing in a much different place, a healthier place, looking back, I see that sometimes the instruction I received in how to do life through the word of God, was limited not by God, but by the person sharing from their limited viewpoint.

When I stopped long enough to address the mess inside of me and fix the filter, then those words in scripture that once made me feel not enough, felt full of life.  Are you stuck somewhere and can't figure it out?  God is pursuing you.  He may need to touch the pain in your heart and guide you to a new filter before the fullness of life he promises can be yours.  Happy Wednesday!

Who Is At The Door?

Yesterday, I woke up at 3:40am after hearing the doorbell ring twice.  Kevin headed to the door and I was worried about pending danger.  The thing is, when I woke up, I realized the door bell and Kevin headed to do the door were both a dream.  My husband was still sound asleep beside me.  But the fear I felt in that moment, woke me up.   I immediately thought of an episode of Criminal Minds (a show I stopped watching when I had kids because the reality of the scripts were too real for me to process).  This episode of Criminal Minds was about a serial killer that approached people's front door with the ruse of a broken down vehicle, then used the open door to kill. 

As I sat up awake, I began to think about the front door.  That front door we all have with the cute wreath and Amazon packages out piled high can bring so many things into your home and ultimately, your life.  It can bring danger, it can bring a stranger, it can bring a package or a friend or family member.  Until we look through the glass or eye hole, we don't know what is at our front door.  We have a chose to open the door, ignore it or in emergency situations call the police. 

The front door is our gate to decide who we let in and who we keep out.  Our home is our domain and who we let in is important.  It can offer us joy and safety, annoyance, an opportunity to help or receive or it can bring fear.  Depending upon who is at the door, depends on what can happen.  

Then I started thinking of Jesus.  Yes, Jesus is close to most thoughts.  I had a classmate ask me in high school keyboarding class if my password for class was Jesus, so obviously, that fact that I love Jesus, isn't a secret.  By the way, my password was cheese - ha! Okay, I got off topic.  Do you know what word picture Jesus uses when he talks about a relationship with you and me?  You got it.  Its a door.

Romans 3:20 -  "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me."

Jesus offers us the opportunity to have a relationship with him and he approaches us and allows us to decide if we will grant him access to our lives.  We get to choose.  I don't know about you (or even if we are on the same page here), but I love serving a God who is a gentleman; a God who lets me choose him.  But seriously guys, Jesus at the front door is an amazing reality! Can you imagine your favorite human hero or celebrity rolling up at your house and tapping at your front door?  What kind of reaction would that spawn?  Yet here the Bible tells us that Jesus, who is God, always was and always will be God, at your door!  We have an opportunity to connect with the Creator of the Universe, knocking on our door! Crazy cool!!!  He loves each of us just because we are his creation and he wants to know each of us! 

What do you want for your life?  We have all kinds of choices and sometimes we act like we don't have a choice, but we do.  After being a Christian for awhile we take for granted the huge opportunity we have to connect with Jesus, but that opportunity is there.  Will you take it?  Will you open the door?   

Don't Should On Me

"Should" is a powerful word.  When one says, they "should" have done something, it is laced with regret, and when someone else says you "should" have, its often a form of judgement, leading to guilt.

When I was a girl, my mom was a part of a counseling program, that I got to participate in on occasion.  Several of the lessons that I learned in those sessions, have stayed with me through the years.  It was in one of those groups that I first came to understand the concept of triangulation, a term that helped me look for land mines in relationships later in life.

A mantra that birthed through those groups and became known to my own family was, "Don't Should On Me," as a reminder not to add judgement or regret to our lives. 

How many times a day do we "should" on ourselves?  Adding that kind of pressure whether its being said or the concept is taking over our thought life, is not healthy.  

Living in regrets and judgments doesn't boost our self-esteem, it doesn't boost performance, and it doesn't send our lives into a positive trajectory.  Honestly, it does the opposite. 

Yes, we all need to strive to be the best us possible, but in that aim, there is no room for perfection.  That process includes failure, something we can celebrate, because it means we are trying.  We aim up, with the knowledge that there is training and bumps along the way. 

American culture doesn't often leave room for hard work and the time it takes to meet goals.  We want it now and if it takes too long, we will find the short cut, but that isn't a benefit to us as humans. 

In 1953 Sir Edmund Hillary and Sherpa Tenzing Norgay succeeded in climbing Mount Everest.  Even with the increase in success in recent years, of the 7.7 billion people on earth, only 800 attempt the task each year.  Out of all of those people (I used a calculator its 52,800 people) only 4,000 have succeeded as Hillary and Norgay in the years since.  Again with the aid of a calculator, I figure that means 48,800 of the people who attempted, failed - that is 92.4% of people failed.  

Those aren't good odds, that doesn't include the fact that its expensive, its time consuming, and its hard work.  So why do it? The experience, even failing, I'd imagine for those who attempt, is an amazing journey.  They learn about themselves, they challenge themselves and they become better people.  Its an endurance, long game experience.    

Life, like climbing Mount Everest, is a long game and we all need to pace ourselves, give some grace and continue along the way.  We march on learning and growing without the confines of a word like "should" because its worth it in the end.  

So give up the fake expectations and the distorted mirrors you've picked up along the way and be you.  Fight not only for the best version of you possible, but fight for the journey too! The Bible is full of commands but there is a reason love is number one.  

Jesus wants a relationship with us, where we are.  He wants to walk with us in the journey and guide us in the way we should go.  He loves us.  I think we'd all be better to take a page from his playbook and love ourselves a little more with patience and grace.  Stop the "should" fest and get up and go each day from where you are.   

Bible Mistranslation, Goals and Self-Care

Eli, Eli, lemana shabakthani! (Matthew 27: 46, Mark 15:34)

This phrase is uttered by Jesus on the cross and is often translated in the Bible verse as meaning:

My God, My God, why have you forsaken me!

It was always explained to me that Jesus said that because God had turned away from him because God couldn't look at sin, however, that really makes no sense.  Why? Well, for one thing, Jesus is God, just in another form.  So if that is true how can one form not look at sin, but the other be on a cross bearing the sin of the world? Also, if God's whole point of creation is to have a relationship with humans, by nature, sinful creatures, how can that work if God can't look at sin?  It just doesn't seem to fit the character of God or the rest of the Bible.  Turns out, its been misquoted.

I've mentioned before that I am reading, Light Through An Eastern Window, by Bishop K.C. Pillai and while I was reading in Chapter 5 (page 67) where he discusses this very passage above.  I then opened my Peshitta  Bible translation to follow along and see that Eli, Eli, lemana shabakthani, is actually mistranslated.  What is really says is, My God, My God, for this I was spared, or this is my destiny or even, it is fulfilled.

That translation makes more sense when in John 19:30 Jesus is quoted as saying, It is finished.  Jesus like any man on a mission, was stating that he had finished what He was sent to do.  I love this!

So what does this have to do with self-care?  Well, last month our theme was goals and I think this Bible passage is a great message in the middle of everything we've been talking about.

God had a mission: make a way for humans to get back to him. Jesus came as the final sacrifice, atonement if you will, so that our relationship established in the Garden of Eden could be restored.  Satan, our enemy, had gotten in there and blocked our path, but God protected us from our enemy and in true God form, provoked his enemy to help him fulfill his mission so that he could go on the cross, die for us, then 3 days later come back to life and go back up to heaven, leaving the other form of God - the Holy Spirit, with those of us who accepted this gift.

Jesus knew his goal, he knew what he was here to do and he did it.  Along the way he trained leaders, met the needs of the people he created and loved, and he pissed the religious leaders off, you know the ones claiming to represent him, but really just living for themselves and using religious laws to get what they wanted.

Jesus, is recorded in various passages in the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) as going to a solitary place and getting away from the crowds.  He met physical as well as spiritual needs when he was with crowds, because in the midst of meeting the mission, he knew the value of taking care of our physical bodies.

You will never meet your goals and fulfill your life mission if you neglect your body, your spirit and your soul.  Self-care is not just a plain way of talking about pampering.  Its actually being mindful of the tools we need and using them with wisdom.  Our body is the vessel that houses our spirit.  It has needs of food, water, rest.  The spirit and mind need quiet meditation and time from the go, go, go and draining moments of emotions of others or even our own.

Let us learn from Jesus, and not only stay focused on our job, our mission in life, but also care for the needs of ourselves and those who cross our path.

Where are you lacking?   Do you have goals and a life mission or are you aimlessly floating through life?  That is easy to do, we have more distractions than any other time in history.  Are you staying focused on that mission and are you caring for your needs so that you can do what you were called to do?  What would it mean for your mission to be completed?  If you can't answer that, maybe its time to get in prayer and Bible study and ask God to show you.  Maybe you don't know who you are? Then its time to take the personality tests and learn about how you tick, what you need and what kinds of things bring you joy or get you excited to go out and conquer the world.  Life is hard, like we discussed last week, so stay encouraged and keep going!!! Happy Wednesday!

Having It All

When we think about having it all, we often think of having the perfect spouse and kids, perfect job, great car, dream home...you get the picture.  Today, I read a post from a local acquaintance who shared a photo of her porch after someone had helped themselves to her bench and cushions during the night.

As I thought about this tragedy I realized, we have it wrong when we think about "having it all."

Yes, the person who took her stuff, now has a new bench set or the money from illegally selling it, but they left something on that porch that they can't get back.  When they made the choice to take something that wasn't theirs, they traded in their character for it.  They lost a part of themselves.  Sure, people who do these things usually lost those things a long time ago, but who we are is more important than the possessions or accolades we acquire.

I'm sure many of us can agree with that statement, but I can tell you when I yell at my kids for accidentally breaking something in our house - the disrespect I show in response to a mistake is sending a message that things matter more than they do and that is not a message I want to send.

Truly, having it all is accomplished by character building experiences and self-denial as we love those around us.   The things in our heart, the people we are, that is what we take with us when we die.  So grabbing for what belongs to others so we can have it, isn't doing us any favors.

Matthew 6:19-21 (NIV) 

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Some of you might be asking, "How does this apply to me? I don't steal stuff off people's porches?" But how many times do we put things before character or before others?  How often do we do things to be liked someone else or to fit in?  If we miss out on being ourselves, we are being robbed of that gift.   This lesson is for all of us in some way.  Maybe its to have compassion for the person stealing because they have got the aim of life all wrong.  Loving people the way Jesus did means caring for them without conditions.  Yes, Jesus expected people to stop with the destructive behavior but he loved them first.  Love is what drew them to him and in that love he spoke truth into their lives.  When we care for people we understand the lies they believe that have led them to where they are now.  It doesn't mean we let them get by with bad behavior, it just means we look beyond the offense and see the person.  Can you imagine the better world we would have if everyone did that?  Where are you off the mark with how you live your life and have it all?  What are you grabbing for that isn't yours in the first place?  I'd love to hear how this truth applies to your life - you may be able to teach me something!!!  Happy Wednesday!

The Deception of Suicide

A couple of years ago, I wrote on the topic of suicide in the wake of Robin Williams' tragic death.  Every time I hear someone else has lost the battle with suicide, it breaks my heart.  Beyond the obvious reasons, it breaks my heart because I have contemplated suicide and I know that struggle.

 I fight thoughts that this world would be better off without me.  Please know, I know that simply isn't true.  That thought is a lie, but its one I grapple with in life.  I see my glaring flaws and think, "I'm ruining my kids, they would be better off without the damage I inflict on them."  I begin to think my absence wouldn't be noticed in our world.  These lies run through my mind and I have to be proactive about replacing them with true statements.  I have to tell those voices to shut up and nurture voices that echo my value as a person, in spite of my flaws. 

We can't stop fighting.  We must reach for what is good.  The Bible says in Philippians 4:8

 "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

I used to think that was only about moral good, like the stuff I watched on tv, but its also about fighting against the lies our enemy births and we tell ourselves.

This weekend I attended a conference, "The Gospel & Justice." Joshua Ryan Butler discussed many issues in our world that Christians need to get involved in, but as he shared he shared about our identity.  It sparked further thoughts of my own. 

God made us with purpose, he loves us and seeks to see us live in freedom.  God isn't the only one that has an identity to give us. Beyond the general mission of our enemy that the Bible tells us about in John 10:10, to steal, kill and destroy, Satan has crafted a unique lie and correlating identity for us.  We can choose to accept it and crumble beneath its burden, or instead we can choose to reject it and listen for what God says, and embrace the abundant life he offers.

Satan tells me I'm not good enough, and that I am not worth much.  Satan whispers in the face of rejection that something is wrong with me.  Crazy, damaged, broken are all identities the enemy has handed me. 

God tells me I am enough the way he made me, and lets me know I am worth more than precious gems.  He shows me that I am worthy, strong, loving and healed.  God lets me see the love he wants to share through me.  I am gifted in loving others and seeing their souls.  I am gifted in drawing out the heart and touching it with the love of Christ.

Suicide is a deception.  Its believing that our faults define us and that our worth is contingent upon shifting factors.  The deception of suicide goes beyond a lying identity to another lie - the lie that we are alone in our struggle.  We begin to believe if we share our inner abyss, we will be rejected which just leads to emotional isolation. 

If the body of Christ teaches us anything, its that we need each other.  Yes, we need companionship, but having people in your life, you can be transparent with, helps protect you from the lies.  The deception of suicide is more than just the "not good enough" its also a deception that no one will understand and you must carry the burden alone. 

To overcome we also must share the burden with people we trust so they can help point us to the truth.  We are loved!! 

My latest bout with self-worth doubt ended in a very interesting way.  Not only did I hear the voice of God and my own mantras but I heard the voices of those in my life.  I knew they would tell me my value in their lives.  It was the shortest lie moment I've had and I saw victory in it.  I'm sharing this with the world to let you know if this is a struggle for you, you aren't alone.  Find the truth of who God says you are and lean into it.  Be intentional in relationships and find someone(s) you can share your inner heart with - set yourself up for success!

Why Are We Here?

Do you know why we are here?

God met with his council and said, "Let's make man in our image." (Genesis 1:26-28) This with the purpose of us ruling with Him.  Satan wasn't a fan, of course then, he was Lucifer.  He didn't want us included just like first borns don't want to share mom and dad with their new baby sibling.  As we see the story unfold in the Bible, we can see, Satan became our enemy.  (I Peter 5:8) Satan's plans and God's plans stand in direct opposition (John 10:10). 

God did in fact create us (you know obviously, because we are here).  As we see the story unfold, we see that we messed up.  Adam and Eve left the garden.  God needed a new way to see his vision happen.  His new plan came in the form of a covenant, fancy word for promise or contract, with the children of Abraham, the nation that would come to be known as Israel.  If you've read the Bible you know they also messed up, so again, God needed a new plan to accomplish his goal.

Enter Jesus.

Who was (is) Jesus?  He was God in human form - not quite the Sci-Fi shape shifters but something like that.  Because Jesus was human he had the same issues we did (Hebrews 4:15) but because he was God he was able to be the perfect sacrifice.

In order for man to rule with God and his celestial council, (I Corinthians 6:3) we needed to be perfect, but no man had been able to do that.  In the pre-Jesus days, that perfection was sought through atonement - animal sacrifice.

Satan nor anyone of Jesus' day knew He came to die.

Everyone thought he came to rule like King David had.  They were expecting a government take over.  Jesus instead came to be the final sacrifice.  (Matthew 4:1-11) His blood would atone, not only for the wrongs of the Jewish people, but for all people.  His new covenant included everyone.

Good Friday is the day Jesus died.  Jesus first incited Satan with the purpose of being killed so he could take us back from our enemy - a rescue mission.

Then came Sunday.

Satan thought he had won, but he was duped.  Easter Sunday is the day Jesus came back to life.  He conquered the grave.  (I Corinthians 15:55-57) Good Friday and Easter re-established God's plan.  We can now rule with Him!

All we have to do is: 1) Believe, 2) Receive, 3) Follow (Romans 3:23, 3:10, 5:12, 6:23, 5:8, 10:9-10, 10:13, 10:17).  

In essence if we made the choice to accept God's sacrifice for our life, we are accepting a royal leadership role.

When we see stories in the news about Prince Harry's upcoming wedding with Meghan Markle, we read about the ways Meghan must transition into her role of royalty.  People have been up in arms over her requirement to give us social media, and yet trading everyday for royalty does come with perks and sacrifice.

Doesn't this same thing happen for us?  If we know we have become royalty with Jesus' act of love, doesn't that motivate us to live differently?  Instead of a focus on acquiring more on earth or getting what we want, shouldn't we be looking to the needs of others as more important than our own (Philippians 2:3-11). 

Easter is coming, and we have a story to tell.  That doesn't mean we don't participate in family gatherings, Easter egg hunts or shopping for a new outfit, but we have much more to celebrate!!!  Easter is a celebration of our freedom - our emancipation from death!!!  We aren't just waiting for the day we rule but we have part of God living in us (John 14:15-17) and heaven starts now!

So why are we here?  We are here to know God and make him known.  We are here to love one another.  We are here for purposes beyond this physical world!

4 Lessons From Disney's "Wrinkle In Time"

This last week my son and I finished reading the book, “A Wrinkle In Time” by Madeleine L'Engle. I told my son we couldn't see the movie until we finished the book, and even though he didn’t quite get why, he was motivated to complete it. We had a great mother/son date going to see the movie, but I would be lying if I didn't admit my disappointment with  Disney's take on this treasured book.  The undeniable Christian themes in the book were replaced with a universal religious message that didn’t resonate with me.  (On a side note: I also felt rushed through the story and missed some of the scenes that were omitted from the book.  I felt the depth of the story was lost as some of the modern elements inadvertently added  a superficial quality that distracted from the overall themes).  

Despite my criticisms, I still came away with some teaching points that Caleb and I discussed and were about to apply to our own lives.  

1. The Importance of Parenting - In the end, Dr. Murry apologizes to his daughter, Meg, for missing out on 4 years of her life because of his tessering misadventures.  He looks at her and says, “Instead of shaking hands with the universe, I should have been holding yours.”  

Parents are people and we have our own dreams and aspirations and that is never wrong, but when those dreams supersede our role as parent we miss out on the greatest opportunity we have to shape someone’s life.   Parenting is hard in the moments, but over before you know it. You can’t get that time back, so its important to give it your full attention.  We have to be present as parents and this message met me loud and clear from the silver screen.  

2. The Paramount Power of Love - Clearly when Charles Wallace is overtaken by IT, he is in all accounts, demon-possessed.  IT uses fear, revenge and anger as its primary weapon in overcoming any and every target.  Love, was the only thing that could overcome the evil of IT.  Love is what Jesus did on the cross, he gave his life for all and cared for us in that act, despite our flaws.  As Meg points out, love sees us for who we are and doesn’t quit in the midst of reality.  That love is what defeated IT and returned Charles Wallace to his body and home.  Love is what Christians are tasked to share with the world, regardless the circumstances.  

3. The Significance of Facing Your Fears - Calvin’s relationship with his parent (mom in book vs dad in movie) is  tumultuous at best.  The fear he faces is referenced in movie and as the final scenes conclude, he notes that it took him a "trip around the universe" to face his fears.  Finding Nemo is another movie that highlights this theme and its something we all need to learn.  Fear is a prison and love is the antidote. It does take risk to face one’s fears, but even if you fail, you are stronger for trying, and its easier to dust yourself off and try again.  Being free from fear is definitely worth any risk involved! 

4. The Treasure Of Being You - We are imperfect people and our comparison game of why someone else is better than us or how “this one thing” would make us better is a lie and a trap.  When we focus on what we wish we were, we miss out the beauty of who we actually are.  Meg is a great example of this as she encounters her dream self and has to use her faults to save the day.  This doesn’t mean we stop working at being better people, it just means we acknowledge the wonderful creation of God we truly are.   

Do any of these speak to you in the reality of your life, today?  Is there a challenge in these four points that can motivate you to explore outside your comfort zone and encourage you to grow as a person?  Whether you watched the movie or not, loved it or hated it, I think the bonus lesson is no matter what, you can always glean from your experiences in life, fictional or otherwise!  Happy Wednesday and beyond!! 

What is Your Kryptonite?

I am not superman, but I definitely have my own kryptonite.  I bet you do too.  Have you ever thought about what it is? 

Why even think about it?  We may not be dodging into phone booths (I know, what is that - ha!) and changing into our super outfit to save people from a nearby, evil nemesis, but you are the hero of your life, at least you should be.  You also aren't perfect so you can either be ignorant and ignore all your shortcomings or fake and pretend they don't exist, or you can put on your big girl pants and face it. 

What's my kryptonite? I'm severely easily distracted.  I mean I can be talking to you about one thing and then...squirrel!  So my phone is my enemy, because I can get on Facebook to update a group I run or add to an event and before I know it an hour has gone by and I haven't done what I went on to do. 

Knowing this about myself means I have to be intentional.  To get anything done, I must have lists and limits so that I can stay on track.  If I don't, the day will go by and nothing will have been accomplished.  If I need a vaca day then that is fine, but if my family wants to eat (aka, oops I forgot to add dinner to the crockpot or even defrost the meat), and I need to keep the internet on (aka, I forgot to pay the bills), I have to get my list done, not to mention the lists I have for my jobs and every other hat I wear (and yes, I know I do way too much, but baby steps is my pace in the better myself arena). 

Thankfully, when I focus, I can get a lot done.  I'm also great when things fall a part, I have a knack for just rolling with it and finding something that will work when a crisis takes over an event. 

The point is I must first:

1.  Know my kryptonite

Then I can:

2. Create a plan to combat it

And only then can I:

3. Slay the day :)

Do you have goals for your life or even day?  If not, get them because you are just wasting time, and if so are you doing what you need to do to accomplish them? 

Excuses are just that.  If you want to get er' done, you need a plan and that has be broken down into attainable steps.  But the plan will fall a part if you don't recognize your kryptonite and create a plan to overcome it.  Just accept that it is there and prepare yourself to knock it down or avoid it with  your patterns and plan. 

I don't know who is reading this, but I know you are a human being with a purpose.  Why not live life to the fullest?  That is what my Bible tells me Jesus came to give us - abundant life.  So what is stopping you?  The answer usually involves yourself and usually your kryptonite. 

I'd love to hear from you.  Comment, message me, and let me know if this is helping you.  I don't need to write just to have my words fill a page.  I want it to make a difference.  Is there something you would like to hear more about?  Tell me.  Introduce yourself.  I promise - I'm listening!  Happy Wednesday.  Decide what you want out of life and start your journey today.  If you already know, motivate and keep going.  God bless, my friends.  - Carrie

BFG and Jesus

This morning I had the pleasure of connecting with a young woman that God placed on my path several years ago.  We discovered our mutual love for theatre and Jesus.  As we reconnected over coffee and conversation interrupted intermittently by my two-year old, we entered into a spiritual conversation on fear that I wanted to share with you.

Often, we can walk through life in fear that, as we face crossroads, we will pick the wrong way.  Life choices like the city you live in, the job you take and the person you marry can fill your heart with anxiety, well if you are anything like me it can.

Yes, God has a plan and we can trust him to guide us, but hearing his voice isn't an exact science and the reality of that unknown can fill our hearts with fear.  The truth is - it doesn't need to.  We can trust God and if, please note the "if" here, we are seeking God we will find him.  Jeremiah 33:3 says, "Call to me and I will show you great and unsearchable things that you do not know."  We can take that promise to the bank.

Sometimes we spend time seeking God in our prayer and Bible times, and we look for that green light to go forward. While that is wisdom, making the choice often comes with some uncertainty.

If you have seen the movie BFG, you will recall the scene when BFG leaves Sofie back at the orphanage to protect her from the other giants.  After realizing she isn't in a dream, she goes out onto the balcony, calls to BFG, asks him to catch her, closes her eyes and jumps.

He in fact does catch her.  She was able to jump because she knew BFG and she knew he loved her.

We must know God and know his love to have the faith to jump.  But when we do, we can trust God will catch us.

I remember my sophomore year Bible class in high school at Dayton Christian.  My teacher, Mr. Pittman, told us a story of having to decide which school to attend.  He was seeking God in the direction and made his choice.  As he was about to head out, he got a call that changed his course.  He used this illustration to show that sometimes you have to make a step in one direction, and know that if its not the direction God is leading, then God is big enough to change the course.  But often we have to take a step in faith and not allow fear to paralyze us.

Fear is not of God (2 Timothy 1:7).  God is love.

We can't allow the unknown to hold us back, but with the love and wisdom of God, we should feel freedom to propel forward in life.

Sofie doesn't allow fear to hold her back, not just with the leap of faith from that balcony but as the story continues on.  She stands for what is right in the face of those man eating giants.

I don't know what your man eating giants are or the crossroads you face, but I know the God who created us, the God who died for us and the God who seeks to love us at all costs.  That kind of love will sustain you and protect you as you venture on in life.  It doesn't mean you won't encounter challenges but truthfully, I can take courage in knowing that by serving Jesus, my Savior, I have confidence to step out in life.  The worst thing that can happen to me is death but even if someone takes my life, they can't take away my freedom in Christ and the life after this that he has promised me as his child.

Go out and do great things with God at the helm of your life ship.  Seek him, find him and conquer this world.  We are living for things far greater than the crossroads we encounter!!

If I'm Being Honest

I love to share my life and lessons learned with others. Whether its speaking from a stage, leading a workshop, writing a blog post or just meeting for prayer and coffee with someone,being able to minister to people at the heart level is the pinnacle of fulfillment for me.

But if I am being honest, I've struggled at times with the ministry I do. I am not a perfect person, and its easy to feel like a fraud.  I don't have it all together, I have my own struggles, and I can begin to question what right I have to say anything to anyone?

Then I remember, its not about me.  I don't share, write, pray, listen and talk because I am so great.  I do it because I am not.  I do it because I have walked some roads in life that didn't lead me where I thought they would.  In the midst of all of it, I found hope in Jesus.  I do it because He and I discussed long ago that if I had to face it, He better use it.  I don't want any of the pain I have endured to be worthless.  

I wish I were further along in my journey.  I wish I could check off the boxes in areas where I struggle; despite my current reality, I know:

1. I will get there. 

Philippians 1:6 (NLT) - "And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns."

2. No matter how much my enemy comes against me, God already won, and I have victory!

"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." - I John 4:4 (NIV)


I am lucky because I have seen victory in areas of pain in my life.  I had an abusive step-dad growing up that I not only learned to forgive, but God gave me mercy and love for him.  I was happy God brought me into his life so he could know God even with the pain I experienced.

Right after high school, I chose an abortion even though it wasn't what I wanted or believed in.  I can echo the words of Frederica Mathewes-Green when she says, “No woman wants an abortion like she wants an ice cream cone or a Porsche. She wants an abortion like an animal caught in a trap wants to gnaw off its own leg.” When I first read that quote, I was relieved someone got it!  I was haunted after my abortion, but now I can say with certainty - I am free from the slavery I felt after making that choice!

Those two things are just a sampling of the hurdles God has helped me overcome.  That reminder gives me the strength to know I can continue to overcome with God's help. 

This past week, I shared my struggle with anxiety and subsequent anger on my public Facebook page.  This is my current battle, and on a rough day or in a rough moment, that is when the questions arise, but I embrace the journey and hope that those who read this blog will journey with me. 

I know God has victory in store and my God is bigger than my struggles.  I feel blessed for the current resources I am working through because for the first time in a long time I see victory approaching. 

What about you?  What struggles have you down?  Where do you need a boost and encouragement? May I encourage you to continue on!  Don't give up!  Do you know God?  He has a plan for you!  If you have questions, comment below or message me and I am happy to help.  Happy Wednesday!  

It Will Change Your Life

Monday, I went to the Mother’s Club meeting at my son’s school.  It is always a wonderful monthly event, but being December, they had some fun giveaways planned.  Each of the leadership team picked a product to donate that was one of their favorite things.  It was fun!  As one mom gave away her selected item, she told the recipient, “It will change your life.”  

I began to think about it.  I have nothing but love for those women and can often be found using those same words toward products that have simplified my life, for example, my Instant Pot!!! Love it!!! So please understand, I am not slamming her for saying that sentence, but it did begin to get my thoughts going.  

I thought the most life-changing aspect of my existence isn’t a product or the magic of tidying up, but is in fact, a relationship with Jesus Christ as a Bible-believing Christian.  Yet, I don’t see people (often including myself) speak with the same passion when sharing Christ as we do our latest find in life.  

We have been gifted with the opportunity for my son to attend a Christian school.  It is amazing because I love Jesus and I love that Caleb is learning about the Bible every single day, all day.  The common denominator there is Jesus.  We all love God and want our kids to, as well.  So I don’t think its a lack of love for God in my community that is the reason for this lack of passion. I actually don’t think it is always the passion that is lacking, but instead there is a fear of offending or coming across too pushy.  But why does it bother us so much, when it clearly doesn’t when we offer to lend a friend a great book we just read or share the funny promo video for products we just started using?  

I once watched a video from known Atheist, Penn Jillette, (watch it here) share that if someone truly believes that Jesus is the only way and that if someone doesn’t choose him they are going to hell, “how much do you have to hate someone” not to share it with them?  What an excellent point!  You don’t have to throw it in their face at every encounter but if you have a friend or neighbor or acquaintance that doesn’t know God, I think we should at least put it out there and then love on that person as Christ would.  This looks very different from beating people over the head with our tracks and our rude demonstrations of pushy faith.  But the point made by Penn Jillette is very valid and honestly, if you aren’t experiencing a faith that has changed your life, you are missing something.  

This may also be the reason for lack of passion.  The change that Jesus does in our lives is as evident as a person losing 200lbs.  People will notice.  That kind of change creates passion.  We should be sharing our reactions to the “life-changing magic of the cross” in our lives.   Its a part of us and in sharing ourselves with people we want to know more, it should be a natural aspect to the relationship development.  

So here is my parting question for you:  How has Jesus changed your life?  

Like Me

As a young girl, I was exposed to a reality that wasn't pleasant. My former step dad was an abusive alcoholic who took out his hurt and pain on my mom and our family. He would abuse my mom and often as a kid, I would see neighbors just staring out their windows or from their front porches just sitting there, watching us, taking no action. It deeply hurt and angered me that they were finding entertainment value from my troubled reality. We needed help, their help and they were unwilling to lift a finger. There was one amazing neighbor next door who always came to our aid, so I don't want to be remiss in acknowledging that heroic act, but I know the other onlookers helped inspire me to be a woman passionate about getting involved in people's lives and standing up for the person who can't stand up for themselves. Its instinctual to step in when someone is being hurt or bullied, without thought for my own welfare. Maybe that instinct lacks wisdom at times, but I wouldn't change it for the world, because if I can step in for someone who sees others looking on doing nothing, as I did so many years ago, it would fill my heart with joy.

A dance I watched recently actually brought all this up in me again and also brought forth the poem I've written below, which I would like to share now. Its written to others out there who are standing in the shoes I wore over 20 years ago. My heart goes out to all those being abused and mistreated, for no one deserves that! This is dedicated to you...

Like Me
Dear Girl Like Me, Dear Boy Like Me,

Your Life is someone else’s TV
They sit and watch entertained for free.
You desire action, intervention
Of your home that feels like a prison!
Jabs are taken,
Wounds are born,
Repeat on with endless scorn.
You long for someone to care for you
And pay a dime for Pay-Per-View!
This is NOT reality TV, it is real life, your life,
BELIEVE ME!
To sit and watch and do nothing is criminal to say the least.
They are just as bad as THE BEAST.
Your curtain call will soon be drawn and someone will make sure he’s (she's) gone!
But until that day comes, stand strong!
Please know I’m praying for you.

Love,
Someone whose been in your shoes

As I close this post, I must share that the greatest force that stood by me through that difficult time and each one since then, has been my Savior, Jesus Christ! I don't know how a spiritual being can be so present, but He has been. I have felt a hug when I needed one and been encouraged when I felt all hope was lost. I stand strong and continue on because of my Lord! Thanks Jesus!

Walking It Out

The past few weeks have been exceedingly hard on me. I desire to share my struggles and the journey I take through life with others who may be facing challenges but often find it difficult to share the process without giving out all the details - details that often include others. I want to respect everyone in my life as I walk out the steps that lay before me. That is a difficult balance to attain. So here I am just saying life is hard.

A little over a week ago my mom was hit by a car - not in a vehicular accident, but she was walking and was struck by an SUV. She lives on the other side of the country so to be so far away, I found this news debilitating. Later that day I received news that left my heart feeling like it had also been hit by a car. I felt frozen in a state of semi-consciousness. Two days later my husband left for Kenya for two weeks, and now I was on double duty in life with some extra work responsibilities, two kids on my own and an emotional state that rendered me helpless. How does one proceed? The days the followed brought more bomb shells and emotional instability with more information that rocked me to my core.

I had to find the strength just to do life - take out the trash, go to work, cook meals, do laundry, change diapers, give baths, etc. I would find myself break down without warning in at times very inconvenient moments. I was broken, heck, I am broken. You see I just completed week one and now face week two. The trials don't go away when my husband returns, but bring a new aspect of the journey, but all I can see now is making it first to that two week "mile" marker. Then I will re-evaluate and see what lies ahead.

When I think about where I was and where I am, I know what has gotten me through it thus far has been a great group of girlfriends and family and my relationship with God. I have been a Christian since I was a little girl, but my journey with Jesus has had its own struggles along the way. The difference this time is that I never questioned him, I just leaned into him. When my heart feels like an crater that was just blasted open by some celestial phenomenon I cry out, "God fill it" before I have a chance to try to fill it with something that won't do the job or heal the wound. I often preach at the church I youth pastor and I find I must live out the words I preach. I have to mind my words, speak with faith and trust that God will do the job. When I find myself trying to take control of the situation, I must let go, and read the Bible for grounding words.

I don't know what lays ahead of me but I am encouraged by Isaiah 50:10-11 that tells me when life is dark, I can trust God and follow his voice because if I don't, I will "lie down in a place of pain." When I feel the need to go defend myself, I stand by Exodus 14:14 that tells me the Lord will fight for me, all I must do is BE STILL. I have to surround myself with voices of truth and encouragement so that when lies hit me in the face, I know to wipe it off and move on.

The truth is I have good days and days when getting dressed is a major challenge. I am working on feeling my emotions and owning them but not reacting out of them. That is hard. I request your prayers as I walk out this scary time in life, and ask that if you need prayer that you send a request my way, so that I may pray for you. Let's walk together.

Free by Faith

This summer I took a group of teens to an adventure camp in Northern California. On our week there we were able to apply our theme verse and it has been something that has stuck with me ever since. Our verse was 2 Corinthians 5:7 which tells us to "walk by faith, not by sight." Sounds simple enough, but that one short phrase meant so much more as we rafted down Class III rapids and scaled a steep ridge with no harness. My words were tested as I had to walk out what I was teaching the teens. My fear of water was tested that day on the raft, but I knew my only choice was to show the group how to trust those who are trustworthy. Despite my inclination to run from this opportunity, I embraced it as not to be a hypocrite before those I was attempting to teach. It was a wonderful rewarding experience for me.

As I said, this verse wasn't a one time lesson that got left back at camp, but one that has stayed with me as a sacred companion. Last night in my time with God I was reminded, not of this verse, but of this truth. Faith is what is counted to us as righteousness. Faith is what marks our journey, not merely our actions. We read in I Corinthians that our works will be tested by the fire and it is our heart, that only God sees, that tests these actions. Some of our actions seen to others as "righteous works" will be consumed and come out as worthless.

I look at a generation of teens that are consumed with busyness. They fill their calendars with afterschool activities, sports, and clubs. They try to find their identity in the groups they busy themselves with, and that aren't alone. They have taken this cue from the overworked, stress cases they call their parents and mentors. They see adults fitting a new activity in each night of the week and running from one activity to the next. Why are we doing so much and what is the purpose behind it? Are we stopping to ask God before we step?

I propose of new way of life, even for those of us in full-time ministry. I propose we begin to "walk by faith and not by sight." I am suggesting that each step we take in our life or our daily planner gets put before the throne, because it is God's job to direct our steps. Even good things may not be what God has planned for us. Some of us (I live in this camp) try to save the world, but it wasn't us who came to save, but Jesus. We are mere servants doing his bidding, and in that we must acknowledge that He is the one with the daily planner for all. Sometimes some of us who do it all are taking the joy God has planned for others to get involved in the process, and when we take their job, we stand in their way.

Think about the stressfree life that could await you if you only took a moment to ask God what his direction was. Learn to tune in with the voice of God and not just the voice of ministry. Be free from obligation because you are doing the work God has put before you, not what others demand of you. Let your belief in Christ been seen in the way you live your life, for that is the true test of what you believe. Ideas in the head are just that when they aren't acted out in our lives. Faith needs to be more about action and direction of Christ then a philosophical point of view. It is practical application. Be free through faith.