When We Miss the Mark

This month as we talk about goals, its important to mention those times when we miss the mark.  Goal setting, goal planning, goal meeting also includes goal missing. 

Guess what, when you go for a goal and you miss it, its something to celebrate! What - you may be asking?  Each failure is a lesson and if we made any progress that is worth celebrating.

So you wanted to lose 100 lbs and lost 30, hey that's 30 lbs!  Maybe you gained 30 pounds and didn't lose anything, did you learn that you need accountability or need to face some issues first and then lose weight?  That is still progress!!!!

If I've said it once, I've said it 3 billion times - Perspective is crucial to life!!!

I can't tell you how often I've let life failures or public opinion speak to my worth more than God's word and loving reflection.  

When I see failure as a step towards a lesson or growth, I'm doing so much better than when I see failure as a negative message about my value or abilities.

I will fail, you will fail.  It doesn't mean we stop trying, it just means we gather what we learned, we figure out a different way and we go - again!!!!

Sunday, I overheard a children's lesson leader share a message with kids about God.  I honestly can't remember the lesson, and its because a throw away comment that was made, hit me between the eyes. She talked about New Year's Resolutions and how most people never keep them.  They way she said it, it sounded like she was saying, why even try?  I don't know what her intention was and that's not the point.  A lot of people do think, why even try?  I'm just gonna fail!  Well better to have tried and failed than to have never even tried!!!!

It actually reminds me of a parable (a lesson story in the Bible) where a King went away and gave his servants money.  When he returned two of his three servants showed him how they used his money and earned more.  He rewarded their use of the money.  The third servant got scared and didn't even try and even the money that he had was taken from him.  (Luke 19:12-27)

Not trying for fear of failure shouldn't even be an option.  

The story isn't about money but its about what we do with the talents and life we've been given and the message of God we are to share in our relationships with others.  

What are you not doing because you are afraid you will fail?

What have you failed that discouraged you and you need to re-evaluate and celebrate?

Life is too short to be down all the time.  God says, "...I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."  John 10:10 

There will always be challenges we have to face and life is hard, so we don't need to add to that! Go fail, learn and grow!!! You are amazing and that doesn't change when we miss the mark!

Reaching

Happy New Year everyone!

This year, I've decided to set themes each month - my essential oil classes, videos, and writing will focus around the themes (okay so I will probably share random thoughts as well), but I really want to aim at meeting the needs of the people I encounter in ministry, in business and in life.

This month, our focus is goals.  I started a Facebook group for women called, Women Together and my hope is to facilitate conversation and connection through the group.  We started the goal-talk discussion on there and later this month, I will be doing a local oil class centered around participant discussion on our goals.  Of course, we will talk them here too!

It might sound a bit expected and even cliche to discuss goals in January.  But a fresh start is great, even if its just a calendar doing so.  We are highly suggestive people and I do believe the hype of a new year can inspire us to go for it.

The problem is we often set lofty goals for ourselves and then get easily discouraged when they don't work out.

Listen to any goal-setting guru (I love Michael Hyatt, Seth Godin & Marie Forleo) and they will tell you goals need to be measurable. They need to set a long-term goal and benchmarks for how you will get there.

I found this photo on unsplash (one of my favorite websites for free photos to use)

It lingered in my mind because of the reach out into nothing.

That is what we often do.  I do think we need to dream big and imagine what could be.  What would you want your life to look like?  If your life was a basket what you want it filled with?  What is in it that needs to go?  These are questions that we should get into the habit of asking.  Move forward in life - don't settle for status quo unless status quo is what you want.

But if all we do is reach out into nothing, we will never have anything.  We must mark a plan for how we will reach that goal.

So here is my assignment for you and for me.

Write out your big cloud dreams - then decide how you can quantify that.

So if you want to lose 120 lbs, maybe you do that in the next 2 years.  Which means 60 lbs a year, which mean 15 pounds every three months.  So then you have to figure out calories taking in, which food choices, how much you will work out, when you will work out...dream big, but know it takes work and planning, but in the end its worth it!

The journey along the ride is also an amazing gift!

I'd love to hear from you.  What are your goals?  What is in your basket?  What have you always dreamed of but never gone for?  What is stopping you?

Are you excited for 2019?  Let's start this year with a dream and work the rest of the year to see how we can build it!

Meet me here next week!!! Happy Wednesday!

Before You Make Resolutions

I made a comment in a recent post about the damage of perfectionism.  I mentioned how living in the perfectionism world, kept me from getting to know myself.  I didn't realize until after I'd written the post just how profound that concept really was.  It's lingered in my mind and heart ever since.  I'm working on a book right now about the art of knowing ourselves and until I wrote that sentence I never gave much thought to the hurdle of perfectionism in the journey to self-awareness.

This perked my interest again as I thought about this next week.  By the time I write again next week, it will be a new year.  People will be hot on the trail of whatever resolutions they have set for themselves.

The thing is, come February, most people will be back to pre-resolution status quo.

Perfectionism and comparison seem to have some culpability in this quick rebound. Far too often we see the common resolutions and we see what others are aiming at and we jump on the bandwagon.  Its not just because we want to do what others are doing, in fact, I don't think that is our motivation.  We see what we hope to have, we see others going for it and we decide to join them.

So what's the problem with that?  We don't factor ourselves into the equation.

I need to lose a good 40 pounds, but honestly, that is no where on my goal list at the moment.  Its important but its taken a back seat to my zeal for mental and emotional health goals.  Being in a good head space and hitting other marks is more in my sights.

I have to take the time to look back and see what this past year's journey has been and celebrate the journey.  I can tell you I didn't always walk the path I started, wandering off course did happen for me in 2018, but not in a bad way.  I consciously decided in some places through out the year to change course.

I have to take the reality of this last year into consideration as I look to the year ahead.  If I want to aim at something big, I've got to count the cost, and decide if that is worth it.  I also have to have a plan to do what I want to do or its really just a fun conversation more than it is an actual goal.

Please don't just jump on the common resolution bandwagons.  Take some time to:

1. Take yourself into account (and if you don't know yourself that well, then maybe that should be your goal).

2. Consider what you did this year.  Do you want to stay at the same pace?

3. Count the cost - in order to change that pace you have to decide if its worth the sacrifice.

4. Plan how you will accomplish your goals.  Set benchmarks and deadlines for that so you will stay motivated.

5. Get someone to hold you accountable and do it with you.  Alone means you probably won't get it done.

Share with me something on your list.  I'd love to hear it.  My priorities are organizing my space and eliminating clutter.  I also want to get most if not all of my book done this year.  I want to be consistent and keep it simple, eliminating distractions.  Now its your turn.  Comment below or message me!!! I want to hear from you.