I don’t know about you, but I love the Holderness family. Their videos are so funny and right on point with life. Their humor gives me the laugh I need as a pick me up for my day.
Their video released just before Christmas (which I can't find now, so if you find it, let me know) was about the ten year review from 2010 to 2020. As I watched their video I began to cry not just because of the progression of their family but because when I thought about what that 10 years meant for me I realized how much reality had changed, transformed really.
January 2010 I was a woman living a reality different than where I stand today. Kevin and I got married in 2005 and I stepped right into the step-mom role. I love those bonus daughters of mine (though it wasn't even close to easy in those first few years), but I desperately wanted my own kids. We tried but I was the woman who had been waiting 5 years to have a baby. I had been calling out to God wondering if I would ever have children on my own. It was a dream I had no control over and was left with a decision to trust God and promise to love him even if I never had children of my own.
But here I stand 10 years out with two beautiful babies of my own. My son is almost 9 and my daughter is almost 5 and I couldn’t be happier with the role of mom, and having gone through such a hard time and having the children in the first place makes motherhood all the more precious. I see the hand of God not only in the timing, but in how he has changed my heart in the motherhood process. I can tell you while life isn't always perfect, I am truly happy! I have joy with my family in the midst of bad days and that joy prevails because it comes in contentment and gratitude to God.
Life is funny, we hit hard times and we move past them. We are changed for going through them, but when you look back on life, sometimes you can begin to ask yourself, "Did that even happen?" Of course it did, but the events of my life seem like these stories that are part of me and some are horrors and some utter delights and yet they aren't my reality, today. Sometimes I feel like I've already lived several lives.
I can’t even imagine what the next ten years will hold, except in 10 years from now I will be the mother of a high school senior and an eighth grader and that is completely crazy to me. I’ll also be 51 so let’s not talk about that!
Let's end by talking about you, not me. Where are you? Have you come out of something horrible or are you in the midst of something you'd rather be done with? Remember time is slow in the moments but fast in the years. How can you bring more joy into the next 10 years? Surrender what you can't control and be proactive where you do have choices. Don't let life pass you by.
This year I want to be more proactive in writing my story and publishing a book (a first of many, if you know me, you know I have all the words). What about you? Tell me. Tell me your journey, tell me your goals, I'm listening! Also, Happy New Year!!!
I don't personally have an "Elf on the Shelf" in my house. Its not that I am a hater of the Christmas tradition, I just don't have time for that PLUS I want there to be more of a Jesus focus in my house. Everything else seems to be so focused on the gifts under the tree and that just seems to foster materialism in my kiddos. I can't do nothing so instead we do have the "Star From Afar" . Its been fun and seems to help me strike the balance I'm looking for. Santa does visit this house and my kiddos have their lists for what they want to get from us and Santa this year. I'm letting you know all of this because as I've been scrolling through my various social media feeds I've seen a variety of perspectives:
- Friends who don't do Santa at all
- Friends, like me, who do Santa but no Elf
-Videos like this one from the (amazing) Holderness Family who have an Elf that's lazy
- Friends that do the Elf with some creativity but nothing anyone is Pinning
- Friends who go Elf crazy with creative feats every night
Here's the thing. There isn't a right way, there is just personal preference. Each of us can do it our way without shaming someone else for doing it differently. We need to model this example in more areas than an Elf on the Shelf. We all need more grace these days instead of everyone throwing things at their perceived opponent in life's opinion wars.
I definitely applaud the passion and conviction I see in my friends and family. Heck, have you met me? I usually have an opinion and am willing to rant at the invitation (or perceived invitation - ha!)
But let's take a minute and hear each other out and realize there may be 5 variations of doing things, 5 plus opinions on each subject and we might actually learn something from a person in a different category than us.
Before you call someone a moron for thinking xy or z, stop and ask, how they see it? Sometimes we have to put ourselves on pause and look deeper to see someone else. Sure, it may not change our minds (I am not getting an Elf just because my friends have one and are rocking their elf morning findings), but I can appreciate others even in our differences.
Take for example the "Baby It's Cold Outside" debacle. I read the lyrics and I can completely see rape culture in there, and yet when I read an article from the daughter of the song writer, I saw that the culture of that day meant something different and maybe instead of banning the song we just open discussion and teach our kids to dig deeper and discover the messages beyond our own framework of understanding. Words 60, 20 and even 2 years ago don't always mean the same thing as when we encounter said words, so learning to inject culture in our understanding is a major life skill.
I know some of you may think, "Carrie grow a backbone and pick a side." There are times when I do, do just that, but we have become too polarized and need to take a minute and find a way to work together. Can we respect people we don't agree with? I say yes! We need to practice respectfully disagreeing. That might take a step away from the computer (funny as you are reading this on a screen), but finding balance in spending time with actual people versus virtual time, is important because it reestablishes an ability to see the person and not just pummel thoughts behind the protection of a screen.
Let's learn something from the Elf on the Shelf beyond that is poops Hershey kisses and takes marshmallow baths. What areas of life do you need to check out other view points for the purpose of appreciating difference and allowing yourself to see the person and not just the issue? You got this. Now go out there and have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!
