What We Can Learn From Elf on the Shelf

I don't personally have an "Elf on the Shelf" in my house.  Its not that I am a hater of the Christmas tradition, I just don't have time for that PLUS I want there to be more of a Jesus focus in my house. Everything else seems to be so focused on the gifts under the tree and that just seems to foster materialism in my kiddos.  I can't do nothing so instead we do have the "Star From Afar" .  Its been fun and seems to help me strike the balance I'm looking for.  Santa does visit this house and my kiddos have their lists for what they want to get from us and Santa this year.  I'm letting you know all of this because as I've been scrolling through my various social media feeds I've seen a variety of perspectives:

- Friends who don't do Santa at all
- Friends, like me, who do Santa but no Elf
-Videos like this one from the (amazing) Holderness Family who have an Elf that's lazy
- Friends that do the Elf with some creativity but nothing anyone is Pinning
- Friends who go Elf crazy with creative feats every night

Here's the thing.  There isn't a right way, there is just personal preference.  Each of us can do it our way without shaming someone else for doing it differently.  We need to model this example in more areas than an Elf on the Shelf.  We all need more grace these days instead of everyone throwing things at their perceived opponent in life's opinion wars.

I definitely applaud the passion and conviction I see in my friends and family.  Heck, have you met me? I usually have an opinion and am willing to rant at the invitation (or perceived invitation - ha!)

But let's take a minute and hear each other out and realize there may be 5 variations of doing things, 5 plus opinions on each subject and we might actually learn something from a person in a different category than us.

Before you call someone a moron for thinking xy or z, stop and ask, how they see it?  Sometimes we have to put ourselves on pause and look deeper to see someone else.  Sure, it may not change our minds (I am not getting an Elf just because my friends have one and are rocking their elf morning findings), but I can appreciate others even in our differences.

Take for example the "Baby It's Cold Outside" debacle.  I read the lyrics and I can completely see rape culture in there, and yet when I read an article from the daughter of the song writer, I saw that the culture of that day meant something different and maybe instead of banning the song we just open discussion and teach our kids to dig deeper and discover the messages beyond our own framework of understanding.  Words 60, 20 and even 2 years ago don't always mean the same thing as when we encounter said words, so learning to inject culture in our understanding is a major life skill. 

I know some of you may think, "Carrie grow a backbone and pick a side." There are times when I do, do just that, but we have become too polarized and need to take a minute and find a way to work together.  Can we respect people we don't agree with?  I say yes! We need to practice respectfully disagreeing.  That might take a step away from the computer (funny as you are reading this on a screen), but finding balance in spending time with actual people versus virtual time, is important because it reestablishes an ability to see the person and not just pummel thoughts behind the protection of a screen.

Let's learn something from the Elf on the Shelf beyond that is poops Hershey kisses and takes marshmallow baths.  What areas of life do you need to check out other view points for the purpose of appreciating difference and allowing yourself to see the person and not just the issue?  You got this.  Now go out there and have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! 

The Best Gift You Can Give!

This morning, I looked down at the counter, which is always a mess!  (I try to keep it cleaned off, but my attempts just don't seem to meet with much success).  There amongst some papers was a notecard.   It was addressed to me so I looked at the return address.  It wasn't an address I recognized.  I curiously opened the envelope and discovered a thank you card.  It was filled with sweet, encouraging words from a woman on staff at my son's school.  A few weeks ago we got to chatting as I was heading out from my monthly recess duty.  She is a delightful woman.  Her words spoke of the encouragement I brought to her, but it was her words that brought something wonderful to my heart this morning.

I have sent several cards out to friends and family on my heart this past month.  You know what I've realized this morning? I need to do it more!

I know you can like a friend's social media posts, you can text a nice meme or comment on their sweet instagram picture, but even with all the ways to connect - there is still something about a handwritten letter in the mail!  

We live in a time saving world with insta-everything.  We get more done and yet time is a wonderful gift.  When we sit down to write a letter, we have to stop and think about what we say.  Sure, we can use white out if we make a mistake, but its harder to do then to delete and re-write on the keyboard.  Its that time and effort that

1. still our hearts to think about someone
2. communicates care.

Don't we need more care?  Look at our world.  Take out all the opinions we fling around like a verbal food fight and look at just the "out of our control" experiences.  This week alone, we see:

* fires raging in Gatlinburg,
* a plane crash with a promising Brazilian soccer team all casualties,
* a car/knife attack on the Ohio State campus

those are just the highlights and its only Wednesday!

We need more encouragement.  We need to know, we are loved, we are in community and its gonna be okay.  We can't look to get those things from our government or even our religious leaders, we need to be a part of the solution and through some encouragement around.

People are going nuts on shopping deals right now, trying to get the latest for their kids or best deals for Christmas gifts so Christmas morning can be magical, and yet sometimes the best gift we can give someone is recognition that they matter.

Challenge:  Write a hand-written note each day during the month of December?  Can you think of thirty-one people who you could encourage or communicate your heart with?  

All you need: Paper, envelopes, pen, addresses and stamps.

Easy!

Don't know how to write a note?

It doesn't have to be long, just start:

Dear ____________________,

I was thinking of you.  I wanted you to know FILL IN WITH YOUR FEELINGS OR WHAT YOU APPRECIATE.  I am always encouraged by your FILL IN WHAT MAKES THEM SPECIAL.  

Then wish them a Merry Christmas.  You may even let them know you are there if the holidays are hard for them because of a lost loved one.

Sincerely,

Your name here

DONE!

Make it your own, but just start.  It will get easier as the month goes, but take time to send something that isn't fast.  Write out your heart, your thoughts, your thanks or whatever comes to mind.

Let me know if you are gonna do this with me.  I'd love to have a team to help spread the love.

What are you waiting for?  Get writing, December starts tomorrow!