Finding Freedom

If you've been on this blog for anytime at all, you know I had an abortion when I was 18.  To say I regretted my abortion is the biggest understatement EVER and the pain I felt, forced me to deal with it and the other junk in my past. My own healing led to helping others because when you know how bad something sucks, you have no choice but to be there for others in your shoes.

 Because of this, I'm on a group on Facebook for those who regret their abortion.  Its a group that is free from political positions and just a place of support.  A woman recently posted on the group seeking some help.  She explained her story and felt her decision was the best choice for her and yet she's really regretting it now (a story I hear ALL.THE.TIME because seriously pro-choice or pro-life has nothing to do with emotions). In her post she was wanting to know how other people managed to live without thinking about it all the time!

Truth.  You can't.  When you are dealing with any inner conflict, distracting yourself is the same as putting a band-aid on an open wound that needs stitches. 

The best way to heal from any emotional issue is to do two things no one ever wants to do...

1. Ask For Help

2. Face It

Running from our past and our pain doesn't make the problem get better, instead that pain grows and we just have more to deal with later.  We have to dive right in and face whatever crap we are afraid we will see when we examine our thoughts and feelings.  I say ask for help first because when its a big emotional issue, facing it alone can take us to a dark place and we need someone there to keep us from going there. 

This isn't just abortion.

I know friends with drug and alcohol addiction that doesn't stop because they are afraid to face themselves and they can't ask for help.  Doing those simple things takes a TON of courage!!! 
You have to be so sick of the pain that you will do anything to be better. 

So if you have something sitting in your emotional closet that has been haunting you for awhile and you want to be DONE WITH IT - start with the two steps above. 

Please note:  Dealing with your junk doesn't mean it will never affect you again.  Scars don't just apply to our physical bodies, there are emotional ones too, but there is a difference between daily being plagued by emotions and being triggered every once in awhile. 

I get emotional about my abortion because if I could find a time machine, I'd go back and do it differently, but I can't so I made peace with it, I let myself  heal from my pain, I corrected to dumb lies that played in my head and I now walk in healing. 

If you hear one thing from this let it be:

DON'T LIVE TRAPPED BY PAINFUL EMOTIONS!!! GET HELP AND BE WHOLE!!!

Trust me its worth it.  If you have walked something difficult - loss of a parent or child, abuse,  addiction, abortion, divorce, slavery etc, and you are free from that now, HELP SOMEONE ELSE! Don't let that pain echo in the lives around you.  Trust me there is someone out there that needs you.  Just open your eyes.

Happy Wednesday and everyone have a HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Benefit of Brokenness

Today, I was scrolling through Facebook and came across a post from a childhood friend.  Like me, she has been through her own trauma in life.  She now gives back to her community in her daily employment.  Reading her post about a new realization about herself as she researched how people process trauma in life, got me thinking as well.  

I will be the first to tell you.  I am a hot mess.  I am a sweet, loving woman with a big heart and a good head on her shoulders, but I also battle anxiety daily as a result of some of the experiences I have walked through.  I struggle with anger and yelling and keeping my cool in areas of personal and societal injustice.  i am at times overly empathetic and can face depression when I look too deep into the hearts of the hurting.  I am also resilient.  When I fall, I get back up and keep going.  

I have also come a long way.  I have never been one to shy away from personal betterment and have sought to face my inner turmoil instead of hide from it.  I believe in a big God and often invite him into my mess to help me overcome one more of my issues.  I’ve slowly learned to trust and jump into life in spite of the fear.  I have allowed my heart to heal from pain its felt along the path of life.  

Despite my imperfections, I am better because I was broken.  

Its like the bubble of a “good life” leaves this protective shell over us.  That shell keeps us safe but it also leaves us self-focused and generally unimpacted by what is happening around us.  

When I was broken, I was hurt.  With intentional focus, counseling, prayer, Bible study, support groups and a great community of friends and family, my broken places have been mended, but in the process my shell was shattered.  I am now gifted with an ability to empathize with people in the midst of hardship or their own pain.  I am able to walk with people in genuine relationship and offer real love to a world that needs it.  Jesus is my Savior and the ultimate example in love and sacrifice.  He has shown me how a walk through hell can bring a bit of heaven to others.  

Romans 5:8 - But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

There is always a flip side to every trial we face.  Often the benefits aren’t realized until we have some distance between us and the trial faced. It is too much to ask someone in the midst of a storm to see the rainbow.  In the midst of a storm you must stay safe and protected not look out at the rainbow coming.  

But if you, like me have walked through a few storms in life, and are now living outside of that past experience; it may be time to see just how special you are as a result of surviving.  You may need to face some pain and allow those wounds to heal, but once that has taken place - see how that trial has transformed you into a crucial solution to the agony people around you undergo.  

What has your broken bubble given you in a perspective that can touch someone else in a real way?  What is your next step?  Be intentional with your life, don’t just roam aimlessly with the remaining years you have on this earth.  

I would love to hear from you, what is next?  What unique perspective do you offer this world?  

Its worth it, I promise!