Mind Buffet

Golden Corral, Hometown Buffet, Cici's Pizza, Sizzler, Souplantation and the list goes on of all-you-can-eat buffets in our country.  When you think of a buffet its a bounty of food available to eat.  Pay your price and eat everything you can in the sitting.

Well recently, I thought about another buffet.  The mind buffet.  What am I talking about?  I talking about the thoughts we fixate on and allow our brains to consume.  As I've been reading through,"Afraid of All the Things: Tornadoes, Cancer, Adoption, and Other Stuff You Need the Gospel For," by Scarlet Hiltibidal , I was reminded of the importance of what we mentally feed on.

If your fear is being struck by lightening, feeding on YouTube videos of people struck by lightening isn't going to help. It will in fact feed the fear that you don't want to grow.  That fear will get bigger.  You don't want that.  Living in fear is living in bondage.  You become a slave to the thing you fear.

As Scarlet points out in her book, the probability of you actually going through that thing you fear is slim to none.  In his book, "When Panic Attacks: The New, Drug-Free Anxiety Therapy That Can Change Your Life," Dr. David D Burns, talks about a lie many people live by that says by worrying about something, they can keep it from happening, when in reality, worrying about it doesn't have any bearing on whether or not it happens.  

Feeding what fuels you towards peace is the best way to help yourself.  Here are some scriptures to help you in that journey.

Proverbs 4:23 - Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Romans 12:2 - Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Philippians 4:8 - Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.

2 Corinthians 10:5 - We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Colossians 3:2-5 - Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.  For you did, and your life is now with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.  Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.

I John 4:18 - There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.  The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

Facing our fears with truth and love can be very powerful.  Feeding on truth and peace instead of fear is the best mind buffet we could ask for. If you are afraid of financial ruin, focus on being wise with your money and then trust God with the rest.  Financial ruin can happen to any of us and so many things are out of our control, so focusing on that doesn't help, but creating budgets and wise investing, etc, can be a great action step.

Obviously, if fear or anxiety is out of control, speaking to your doctor and/or therapist, is a necessary step.  I don't want to oversimplify a complex issue, but I do think checking what we are feeding on is something we all can do!

Happy Wednesday!

Walk With Me

About the time school started, I began to get up and walk before the younger kids were awake.  I found a circuit around my neighborhood that took me about a half hour.  

I loved it at first because its 100 degrees outside and a 60 degree morning walk, was amazing to enjoy the cool air.  But I began to jump out of bed for the walk each morning for reasons beyond the air temperature.  

I purposefully set out on the walk with nothing (I mean I was obviously clothed).  I left the cell phone at home and took advantage of the walk to clear my head.  I had quiet, alone time to talk with God and think about my day.  

We need more time to talk to God, to think and just be.  

It has been amazing.  I am such a people person, but surprisingly, I am loving my solo time, or maybe more accurately, my time with God.  

The thing is, I didn't know I needed it until I started doing it.  I did know I needed exercise and don't worry, I know I need more than a 30 minute walk to shed the current unwanted pounds, but the many ways this one morning ritual has helped me is a bit unbelievable.  

If you've read my blog, you know the point in all of this isn't just me.  So now its your turn.  When I titled this post, "Walk with Me," I didn't mean get out there and walk the neighborhood beside me, instead, I'm challenging you to do something like my morning walk, for you.  

I really envy the girls that seem to have self-care down to a science, but that has never been me.  Taking care of myself is something I run right by in the efforts to complete my daily checklists.  I am learning that by neglecting myself, I'm setting myself up for failure in the marathon of life. 

Are you someone like me that tends to neglect some area of self-care?  Rest? Exercise? Free thought time? Pedicure? Prayer and Bible Study? I don't know what it is for you, but if I were a betting woman, I'd put money on the fact that there is something you need to do to help yourself.  

So here's my question: 

Will you walk with me?  

Comment below or message me and share how you would answer this question.  I want to know what you need to add to your life.  

Happy Wednesday! 

Seeing God

I have a wonderful relationship with God and have given my life to serving him, but trust has been an issue for me since I was little.  Facing divorce, disease and an abusive step parent at an early age, created this fear.  Even though I see the hand of God through it all and even have gratitude for some of the worst moments because of what they birthed, its still a knee jerk reaction - fear.  Bad things happen in this world.  John 16:33 tells us that. 

 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

As I navigate real life, I find I have to remember that I have access to peace. 

We just got back from almost two weeks in Texas.  It was family time, it was fun, it was exhausting.  We landed in LAX right in the peak of evening rush hour.  We got in our car and got the 405 ready for the long drive home, because we were ready to go home.  As we merged into traffic, our car check engine light came on and then it started to rev loudly and wouldn't shift into the upper gears.  We managed to get off an exit pretty quickly in Culver City off Sepulveda.  We pulled into a parking lot and my husband tried a few things to get the car working.  His attempts didn't work.  

I grabbed his hand as he got back into the car and we prayed.  I asked God for help because my internal panic mode was kicking into gear much better than the car transmission. 

I then searched for autobody shops near us.  The closest one was Rony's.  I dialed and a man answered, it was Rony.  I asked when he closed.  He told me 5 o'clock (an hour before this call), but he was still there, what did I need?  I told him what happened and where we were and he told us to come on over.  Rony checked out the car and promised to make this a priority so we could get home.  He recommended some hotels and told us when he opened in the morning.  He would start working tonight on what the issue could be based on the reading he got from the computer.  

We managed to take our car down the couple blocks to our hotel.  In the morning when my husband took the car down, Rony gave us one of his own to drive back to the hotel.  He promised to have an answer by check out so we would know what our next steps would be.  

The two options were pricey and it looked like a rental car was in our future while the car got fixed.  I prayed again and in the midst of my questions and fear, I also found that peace.  Why? Because as I looked online, Rony's had amazing reviews.  He was honest, decent prices and quality work.  I didn't even look at that before pulling into his lot.  He was close, he was open, we were desperate.  Yet, God led us to this awesome place.  God had his hand on us through the hardship and I saw it.  I decided to thank him and recognize him for it.  I decided to trust.  

The option was in, $1200 and we would have to drive home in a rental car and come back for the car later.  Then ten minutes later came another call and a question about the battery.  Turns out, our newish battery didn't hold a charge while parked for two weeks and it was talking to the computer correctly.  Resetting the code could work.  Rony tried it,  he tested it and all seemed good.  He seemed reticent to let us leave since, he wouldn't be able to do anything if it didn't work, but he was pretty sure the car was good.  He was right.  We went home that day in our car and because it wasn't rush hour, we did it under three hours! The bill was under $200 instead of $1200.  

God is always there, even if the bill had been $1200, but seeing that God was caring for us and directing us, allowed me to understand the peace he gives us.  

I could have focused on the fact that our car broke down in the first place and why couldn't God just let me get home Tuesday night, but instead I chose to see his provisions in the midst of life.  

I hear people misquote I Corinthians 10:13 all the time.  They say, "God won't give you more than you can bear," but that is not what that passage is saying.  Its talking about temptation not hardship.  John 16:33 is a much better passage to hold onto.  This world can suck but God is God in the end and he is with us in the middle of the suck.  

You can trust him and so can I.  Let's focus on that.  How have you seen God in the midst of real life?  Have you been paying attention?  Look for the clues that his there.  I promise you won't be disappointed! 

P.S. If you live near Culver City - go to Rony's! He's a good guy and a mechanic that won't take advantage! 

What are YOU Thinking?

Have you ever paid attention to everything you think about in a given day?  Today, I offer you one simple exercise.

Take note for one hour (I would suggest at different times) each day for a week about the thoughts that went through your head.  You don't have to share them with others, but it might be helpful to check out any patterns you have.

What do you think about?

How do you think about or think through life situations? 

Did you have a negative or positive thought process to life as it happened? 

Were you surprised by how much you thought about certain things?

If you were to put them in categories, how many thought categories do you have?

What were the thoughts you didn't like? 

What were the thoughts you loved? 

What else stuck out to you in this exercise?  

Most of us want to change, yet few of us actually do anything about it, and I believe its because we aren't willing to do the internal inventory and discover where we truly are in life.  

Taking inventory of your thoughts, helps you to see where you are.  When you decide what you want from life, then retraining your thought life can help you to get there.  If you want to know more about this, then go grab a book by Dr. Caroline Leaf.  

As you take inventory above, I would also ask the question: 

What thoughts do I want in my brain?  

If you didn't like the way you thought about life or yourself or you found yourself stuck in a negative mental cycle, what would you want to replace it with?  

This month on mindset, really is important because how we think about our life is one of the most important building blocks for changing words and actions.  There is so much out of our control, but if we focus solely on that, we can miss what we do have control over.  That is where our time and thoughts should be spent.  

I'd love to hear how this went for you! Happy Wednesday! 

Mindset Matters

You can thank Dr. Caroline Leaf for our theme this month, because I've been reading her book and watching videos of her talks and I felt inspired to focus this month on Mindset.  Our mindset in life is so important. The mind is where life starts, yet so often we trip mindlessly through life, unaware of what we are thinking.

The New Kings James version of Psalm 23:7 says, "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he." Other versions say a man thinks first the cost.  Regardless of the version, the focus in on our thoughts.  What we do and say comes from what we think.

2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV) tells us, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

Bad thoughts lead to self-doubt, depression, anxiety (and the list goes on).  Letting them run free can lead us down a bad path.  Thoughts are important!  If I didn't already know that in life, Dr. Caroline Leaf has hit that point home with true precision backed by her work in the field of cognitive neurology.

So here it is, here is what I've learned from her.  If you want things to change in your life, you start with your thoughts and it takes 3, 21 day cycles of intentional thought (7-16 minutes a day) to create a thought strong enough to make its way into our conscious mind and life.  It is work!  But its worth it!!!!! 

I asked God, what thought I should first work on.  I suspected it would be my anger.  I am over losing my temper, but I was wrong.  God told me it was my motherhood that needs to be addressed first.  That's ironic for May and Mother's Day, right?! As I thought about it I realized, how off track I was.  I get annoyed at my kids when they disrupt what I am doing.  I get agitated when they aren't moving as quickly as I need them to be when we have to get going.  Those things are understandable because well motherhood is hard, and trust me, I have NO JUDGEMENT for all you moms out there.  I get it! I just realized I was looking at it wrong.  

A month ago I was sitting in an ER with my baby on tubes worried I was going to lose my little girl, if that isn't a wake up call, I'm not sure what is.  These kids in my home are a gift, and unless we are talking about my 33 year old, special needs step daughter, who gets older but lives the same life every day and every year, my kids will grow up quickly and be gone before I know it.  Eighteen years in the scheme of life are quick. I will spend more time at home without kids than I will with kids.  They spend more time out of my home than in it, and I want to maximize those years.  

I can't live in some perfectionistic mindset with my kids because I have and will screw up when it comes to being a mom, but I can cherish the moments I have with them, and that is my focus in this process.  

Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." We help each other in our encounters with one another to become better people.  We can learn to be more Christ like when we are challenged by human interaction.  That was quite the lesson when I said, "I do," thirteen years ago.  Marriage is the perfect place to understand this verse because becoming better is painful as you work in relationships, especially when you have cemented your life to another flawed human.  

Well, parenting is just another step in the process.  I want to be the best version of me possible.  I want to allow God to refine my places of pride and selfishness.  I get to practice putting someone else needs above my own.  

At the end of the day, I can get frustrated that my kids are interrupting that tv show I want to watch or  I can cherish the moment to be with them.  I understand things need to get done and we can't spend every waking hour playing with the kids, but I admit there are lots of moments when selfish me just doesn't want to do the mom stuff, I just want to be left alone. In those moments, I realize I need a mental shift. 

So here I am day 7 into my first round of 21 days, with a few months to go in replacing thoughts.  

Then I will figure out the next thought pattern I need to change and work on that for 63 days.  

Too many of us are guilty of sharing a daily encouragement with a friend or even ourselves and thinking it will inspire change, but don't be fooled, its not that simple. If it were, no one would have any issues in life.  It takes daily attention for 63 days, according to Dr. Caroline Leaf.  Let give our thoughts the respect, time and attention they need! 

What thoughts do you need to change?  Ask God to reveal your first thought.  Check out this video series if you want to learn more. (Note: I just linked video 1, but there are 3 others that you can watch after it.) Check back in next week for more on mindset!!! 

Getting Unstuck

I'm not gonna lie, I feel a bit beat up lately by life.  It just seems to be one thing after the next and its made my threshold for challenges pretty low.  Monday of last week, I was met with two smaller issues that simply sent me over the edge.

Reality is...life is hard.  It was never meant to be a Thursday night sitcom, where something dumb happens and we figure it out in 30 minutes.  We are going to always have challenges to face.  Some are harder than others.

Emotions like fear, anxiety and anger can become dominating forces that seem to wreak havoc in our daily lives.  

Dr. Caroline Leaf shares in her book, "Think, Learn, Succeed," that fear isn't a innate emotion but a learned state.  We are born into love and fear is a reaction learned from life.  She shares this from a scientific place as a neurologist, but I've seen this unfold in my life and understood its truth as I look at my journey.

I wasn't scared of what would happen to my daughter, until the day one month ago yesterday when I was riding in an ambulance to the ER. (Heck, this morning I saw an ambulance pass by with sirens howling and I started to cry just remembering that day).  In the weeks since that sudden seizure, I have been met with many fearful thoughts.  When she falls or hits her head.  When she starts coughing (what she did before the seizure).  When she looks like something just isn't right.  All of those now bring on an initial fear response.  This has illuminated the truth of Dr. Leaf's research. 

We don't think in "what if" terms until we are met with the reality of worse case scenario.  Fear is an awful beast.  It can be a blessing when it signals danger and we are able to use it to fuel wisdom and get out of a bad situation.  But fear is often misused to control us in ways that keep us emotionally and sometimes even physically paralyzed from living life.  Fear is often a disguised emotion. 

In my years in counseling, one of the biggest light bulb moments was when I realized my anger problem, really wasn't an anger problem but a fear and anxiety problem.  Anger was the beast emerging from me but it was really a signal of internal panic or even stress.  Insecurities, self-imposed pressure or anxiety of the things out of my control unleashed emotions that weren't equal with the weight of the current situation.  

I've seen how important our words are but those words first start as thoughts.  We have to be detectives in discovering who we are and why we are.  This work is important if we ever want to move forward.  I recently heard a talk by Mel Robbins, where she asks, "What is the next chapter of your life?" Introspection is the key to moving forward.  So many things in the physical world, translate well into our spirit/soul world.  Take organizing for example. I don't care who you watch or who your organization Yoda is because they all start at the same place: 

Take it all out.  

If you are going to organize your closet, you first have to get all the clothes and stuff out, then you can determine what you need to keep and get rid of, and then based on what is left decide the right way to organize it.  

The same is true for our thoughts and feelings.  You have to bring them out of cobb webbs and hiding and find out what is there.  Then and only then can you look at what needs to be there and what needs to be replaced.  

Dr. Caroline Leaf says thoughts can be redesigned.  I love that concept.  As long as we keep going in a mindless state, passively allowing life to happen, we will be victims to the mental blocks and bad thoughts that we've allowed to grow.  

Being aware of this new fear response, helps me to redesign the thoughts and move forward with confidence.  As a Christian I believe in a God who has a plan.  It may not always make sense to me, but my God has all the power, but also is a loving God.  Love and power together are a safe zone.  It doesn't mean that everything will turn out perfect, but it does mean that I can trust him, even when it doesn't.  Keeping that fact before me each time I'm faced with my new fear, will be an immense help in finding freedom from the fear. 

Replacing thoughts is not some one and done experience.  You can't read this blog post, think - great point, and just go on in life.  No, there is work that goes into it, that work is daily and takes a while to reach the finish line.  Dr. Caroline Leaf says 63 days is the key for those dendrites to rewire and recreate a new conscious mental pathway. (Check her out - just google search and discover the many ways you can learn about all of this from her).  

Now its your turn, you have a choice. If you don't do the work and develop new habits, nothing will change. What thoughts do have running amok in your head?  Is today the day your evaluate and redesign your thought life? Just know I'm over here with you; a woman in process!

You Matter

This month the topic is self-care. So many people don't take care of themselves and so it begs the question: why not?

A common thread among so many today is that when they answer the question, "do you matter?" They would answer, "no."  I mean if you ask them, they would verbally say "yes," but that voice in their head says something different.

The only way to overcome something is to face it because often the fear of facing it is worse than the actual issue itself.  We are scared if we take a mental inventory and assess the thoughts that keep us down, we will be challenged at a value level.

Step 1:

Take note of everything you are thinking.  What are the doubts and self-worth statements that are cutting at your value?  Is it:

I'm not good enough

I'm not important

My value is based on what others say or think

I don't have what it takes

I can't do this


That list just keeps going and sure we may say, "I don't believe those things," but in truth some variation of those statements above or something like them replay in your mind on a loop and that is keeping you from understanding your worth.

Truth: Life is hard.  I love this post on Instagram from @galiacollaborative

Reality is, we often rush to blaming ourselves when life doesn't go well instead of understanding that life isn't going to always go well.  Its not an indicator that we are the issue.  We all have issues but again, we aren't an issue.  Do you see the difference? 

Step 2: 

Once you've identified those mean thoughts start looking up some antonyms to those nasty thoughts.  I was processing some negative emotions recently and was feeling abandonment even though I wasn't actually being abandoned.  I got my emotion oils, and my journal and looked up those antonyms, then wrote out the opposite of abandonment in a personal way. 

I told myself, I am reclaimed, redeemed, wanted, secure.  Those were truths even though I wasn't feeling that way. 

I also listened to God's word because He tells me I matter.  

Matthew 10:31 ESV

Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.

Psalm 139:13-14 ESV

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

Matthew 16:26 ESV

For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?

That last one reminds me why we fight for our value.  We can focus on money and busy days with life check lists and lose ourselves and when we do, is it worth it?  

You are worth fighting for.  

Step 3: 

Repeat the truths of step 2, post them everywhere so you are being reminded of truth.  Our brains need repetition to create new neural pathways, so hearing yourself say the positive opposites to your go-to thoughts is what you need to replace them.  Eventually your brain will replace the bad ones with the good ones.  

Step 4: 

In all of this don't forget you are not alone.  Connect with friends and find a community that will encourage you along the way.  

Don't forget the best way to be diligent with self-care is to first say, "I matter." Only when you know your value can be able to make self-care a priority.  Happy Wednesday!  

Best Costume Yet!!!

I'm not the biggest Halloween fan, in fact before having kids I pretty much boycotted the holiday.  Its a combination of reasons, one of which includes I don't do scary.  I can explain all that another time, because even though I'm not a Halloween fan, I am a fan of dressing up.  I can remember having a dress up trunk when I was 7 years old.

I'm also competitive, so having a chance each year to dress up my stepdaughter, Katie, for her various contests, is fun.  My kids pretty much want the "purchase and wear" costumes at this point and aren't yet ready for the "mom's getting creative" costume, so getting to do fun stuff with Katie is a hoot! I will definitely show some of my favorite costume creations below.

But all of it got me thinking, about why dressing up is so fun.  There are a lot of different reasons, one of which includes being something other than ourselves.  Yes, we are great but its not everyday you get to be a super hero or your favorite celebrity.  So why not?

In real life sometimes we need to get dressed up mentally and be what we hope to be, not what we see ourselves as IRL.  I'm not saying you shouldn't be yourself, but actually find the courage to be the real you.

I have had way too many conversations with people lately who are refusing to give it their best because all the see in the mirror is a loser.   Its not that they don't want to give it their all, its just that they see their lack and can't imagine themselves any more than that.  Its frustrating when I can see the possibilities and I am the only one in that boat.  I know its not just an issue with a few select folks, all of us have areas where we lack foresight into the possibilities of who we were made to be. We get stuck and lost in a self-doubt funk and I say its time to get out!!!

So guess what? Its time to put on the best costume yet!  Dress up like the person you can't imagine being and just pretend you are that person.  Don't let your head game get in the way.  Be that best version of you that looks like fiction and pretend you are dressing up in a costume.  Take it out into the world and see what happens.  You may find that the possibilities others see, the ones that seems fiction in your own mind, really is a reality!

Embrace the best version of you and do what it takes to be that person.  Sure, it takes work, but so does some of those fabulous costumes out there.  You get what you give.

I hope you found encouragement in this and in some of my other posts.  This is really supposed to be a place where people can come and feed their souls. Sure I push us all to grow, but why not?  I don't know who reads these things and I can't possibly personally know each and every person, but I can say I want the very best for you.  Its true.  As promised before you leave, here are some costumes I've made for my sweet Katie, that I will share with you.  There is one or two in here of me as well.

Be the Be

I have a real struggle with contentment.  Its not that I don’t love my life because I do.  I know I have a stellar family and am so happy with that reality.  

This discontentment comes when I look in the mirror (usually on a figurative level).  I have a hard time loving and embracing myself.  I see the beauty God has created but I also see the human with all her cracks and flaws and its easy to begin to compare to others around me.  

Before I know it I begin to think "if only" I looked like that, had their money, had that job, lived in that neighborhood, had their temperament, had been raised by their parents, and the list continues.  This is such a big deal because much of it happens on a subconscious level.  

I’ve become aware of what I am thinking and it astounds me just how much I have a “wish I had that…” thought. 

The real battle happens in our minds.  I’ve seen so much research on the power of our thoughts and its very surreal to think the real issue isn't what we have or don't have, but is our thoughts! Re-thinking a few things could be just what is needed to bring about the best results.  

Even the Bible speaks to our thoughts:  

I Corinthians 10:5

5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Those mental roadblocks are supposed to be destroyed so we can stay on mental task.  

As I thought about all this (while driving, by the way), I thought we need to “Be the BE!”  By this I don’t mean be the "b" word; instead I mean, begin to live from where we are, not where we want to be.  We need to get good at being ourselves.  Its very hard to do in a culture that constantly throws comparisons in our face.  

Sometimes it just seems easier to be like everyone else.  I see this person finding success by doing motherhood or business a certain way and my brain just wants to copy their method and be them.  But the world doesn't need that.  I was made with a purpose and by living out me, I make the greatest impact.
  

Yes, it can be hard because there are things about myself, that crush me.  I’m not talking about my stringy hair or any other superficial quality but areas of character that motherhood has exposed in me and left me embarrassed.  

Its become apparent that I don't always deal well when things don't go as planned and often I can lash out when I feel out of control or when I'm operating in an anxiety induced episode.  The woman that emerges is someone I am less than proud of.  She's been around my whole life, but now I see her emerging in my kids and the horror grows.  

But remember the battle is in the mind.  When I set my focus on that, I can in fact bring her out more.  When I slow it down and center myself and remind myself of all the good qualities I am passing on, the monster I see looks a bit smaller.    

Perfectionism has been at the root many a time; unable to see the whole picture narrowing in on the missteps and the failures unable to look them square in the eye and wanting so badly for them to just go away.  

But no one is perfect, even if the image they present looks it.

There is always something.  Embracing ourselves warts and all is the best way to live.  Not because we can’t change and everyone better just get used to our negative qualities but because accepting reality is really the first step to make changes.  

Why am I sharing all this with the world?  Its not because I need you to feel sorry for me or come tell me I’m great or suggest I see a counselor.  I am sharing this because I am not alone.  Many of you need to also -  

BE the BE!  

What ways are you allowing discontent thoughts and comparing yourself with others?  What ways are you narrowing in on your flaws to the exclusion of your beauty?  How can you embrace yourself, and be the person you were created to be?  It starts with a look into your emotional mirror and a decision to start with you not the you, you wish you were. You were created with purpose as is. Go forth and rock life!