Resetting Life Expectations

Life is hard, isn't it?!  I feel like I was always looking for the time in life when it would be easy, but even in this amazing stage of life I find myself in, I am still struggling with challenges.  I wanted the white picket fence, the perfect family, house, etc.  Here I am living it and its just not the problem free reality that I envisioned and desperately hoped for as a girl.

Don't get me wrong, I love my life, but where along the way did I pick up the notion that the good life was a perfect life?  Where did I gather in the info that a problem-free existence was possible.  I've been a Christian all my life, and I've studied the Bible, but does it say that anywhere in that book?  No, in fact, it says just the opposite.  We are told about the problems of life.  It shouldn't be a surprise!

John 16:33 
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart! I have overcome the world."  

Its no accident that John 15 comes before this verse.  John 15 talks about God as the vine and us as the branches.  He discusses the vital truth of being close and connected to God to grow and thrive.   We need this truth in order to survive life. 

There was a time in my junior high days that the first chapter of Jeremiah struck me with a nugget of truth. Read part of it with me: 

Jeremiah 1:4-10 

The Call of Jeremiah
4 The word of the Lord came to me, saying,

5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
    before you were born I set you apart;
    I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”

6 “Alas, Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I do not know how to speak; I am too young.”

7 But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am too young.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. 8 Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the Lord.

9 Then the Lord reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, “I have put my words in your mouth. 10 See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant.”

Now go back and look at verse eight.  Do you see that word, "rescue?"  God doesn't promise we won't go through the "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day," or days as it usually goes in life, and he never promises the perfect, scripted life.  Instead he promises never to leave us or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6, Joshua 1:5-9, I Kings 8:57, Genesis 28:15, Hebrews 13:5)  and he promises to rescue.

Why does God promise that?  Because he knows when life is hard, we feel alone, defeated and inadequate. Jeremiah wasn't just some random guy having a bad day, Jeremiah was a prophet that God sent out to share his truth and love, knowing Jeremiah wouldn't be received with open arms.  He knew he would be treated badly, but he still sent him because God loves people and wants the best for them.  God also loved Jeremiah, which is why he assures him he will rescue him.

Often in scripture, God sent people on missions by giving the job description and then promising to be there.  He doesn't say it will be easy, he promises his presence, which means something when you are an all-loving, all-powerful God.  When God says he will do something, he will do it.  It doesn't matter if the promise seems impossible.  Man and God don't operate in the same realm.  He doesn't have our limitations.  In fact, our God didn't just send us, he also sent himself in the form of Jesus, who did everything he told us to do. He led by example.

Also, have you ever noticed the richest life usually comes as a result of the passage through the "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad" experiences?   The sweet life isn't being a Stepford Wife - in fact there perfect existence is in reality, no existence at all.  Messy life is the best life.

I can't finish this without reminding my Christian readers out there, that this Bible filled with people like Jeremiah doesn't just stop with the men and women in this book.  We have been given a mission.  Matthew 28:16-20 is God's mission for us.  Go read it if you don't know it, and if you do, go get reminded.  These promises are still for us today as we walk the same road that has already been walked.  As you struggle to love that woman that trash talked you, face cancer, stand up for truth in a loving way, share love with the homeless, listen attentively to that annoying talker, invite that friend to church or Bible study, be loving to a spouse that is on your last nerve and the list goes on, remember you are on a mission from God.

So what are the keys to a good life?  I think its pretty simple.

1. Know Your Mission
2. Know Your God
3. Enjoy the Beauty Amidst the Storms
4. Press On In Love

Maybe its time to throw out the childhood expectations you had for life.  I know I need to and re-calibrate what I am aiming for.  God will rescue you if you let him.  Being his means having a peace in the one true God no matter the circumstances, but it doesn't mean problem free. Sometimes I need reminded of that reality.  God loves me and he always has.  He loved the girl with the abusive stepdad, with all the baggage after divorce and abuse as much as he loves the wife and mom I am today.

Do you need to reconnect with God today?  Do you need to clarify your mission and get to know your God, your master, a little more?   Do you just need the encouragement that you aren't alone and you are seen?  Take this truth and keep on.  You are needed.  Happy Wednesday!  - Carrie

Its Not Sin

Being a Christian in 2019 is hard and the biggest reason its so hard is because "Christian" can mean a variety of things based on who you are talk to.  That is confusing.  The Bible understood through context is really the only starting off place for knowing truly what a Christian is and what they believe.  As we navigate the definitions or the central beliefs, we have to be cautious with taking a belief as it comes from the lips of friends, family and acquaintances as a Bible-based Christian principle.  

March of this year, our dog was hit by a car, and in a process of a couple months, needed two surgeries, in that window, our 4-year old randomly started seizing and almost died in the local ER before recovering at the children's hospital about an hour away. 

Also in this time frame, we needed to get our roof replaced after some record rainfall left puddles in our house.  Just as we came out of all of that, our second dog and a neighbor dog got into a fight and we had to pay for the vet bills for the neighbor's dog.  

We then discovered my car was having trouble and had to be repaired.  In 5 months not only did we suffer these incidents and a few other ones too, but these incidents came with 5 major financial hits.  We went from being debt-free to $20,000 in debt and that is after the almost $10,000 we were able to pay off. 

As my husband discussed all of this with a friend, the friend (self-proclaimed fellow Christian) mentioned to my husband that maybe we had some sin in our lives that was causing all of this.  

Insert eye roll here.  Bad theology rears its ugly head.  To set the record straight, that comment is wrong!  Negative life happenings is not automatically a result of sin. If you are in question of that, read the book of Job in the Bible.  Job's friends accused Job of sin when his world was rocked, but God set them straight.  Life is hard.  

I'm not saying God never punished someone, and I'm also not saying, natural consequences of our choices isn't a thing, because it is.  But just because you go through a hard time, doesn't mean, you have sin in your life. It also doesn’t mean God has forgotten you.  God is always with us in the midst of the hard times and the good. You are a human being living in the imperfect world.  God does make us a promise in the hard times. 

 John 16:33 says, 

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

We are promised peace in the middle of the mess we call life. As Christians, we know this world is not our home.  That eternal home is heaven.  Our goal should never be a problem free life.  Instead it should be to follow Jesus and to trust him in the midst of whatever storm we have endured.  If I'm being honest, some of my biggest blessings and strongest traits were forged out of the hard things I went through in life.  A few of them were a result of sin, but God didn't forget about me or abandon me.  He let me figure it out and when I came back running, he was there.  He guided me and I followed and I was better for it.  

Sin is the wrong we do against God, and it does separate us from God.  The point of dealing with sin is so that we may be closer to our Creator.  Its not just wrong actions but attitudes and when we read the Bible, we see that the religious leaders who acted above the law and spent their time condemning the people, were living in sin.     

Each of us as friends should be supportive for those in our lives as they walk through life, waiting to cast judgement when we don't have all the information. We are best at speaking wisdom when its wrapped in love.  We also should take time to reflect into our own lives.  David is a great example of how we should approach God.  He was humble as he asked God to search him and lead him to in the right way (Psalm 139).  We all have areas we could improve or change, even in the smallest of ways.  Go to God and ask him if there is sin in your life, but not because you are fearful of being zapped, but because life connect to Jesus is the best life! 

Facing The Suck

Tonight, I watched the documentary on Fred Rogers, "Won't You Be My Neighbor?" I watched it with a mixed group of teens and residents of a local Senior Living facility.  Yes, that mixed group is an odd couple, but its is one that has bonded over the past few years as we've hung out quite a bit.  Its fun to see opposites generations have fun together, but that is a different topic for a different post.

I finished the movie inspired as I truly feel it is my movie mothership! I was most inspired by Mr. Roger's life work as a response to the areas of hurt in his own childhood.  This is a goal I've attempted to live out as well.  Each of us face challenges in life and it was remarkable to see how those challenges shaped this man's work.

While watching the documentary the title to this blog post, "Facing The Suck," just came at me with an epiphany moment.

Its the suckiest parts of life that often birth the sweetest treasures in life.  Mr. Rogers didn't set out to become famous, he merely understood a need through his own experience and that experienced birth empathy that compelled him to meet a need in children pervasive over the generations.

When I see this in my own life, I see examples of the suck becoming the sweet like in my lack of finances as a child that lead to an amazing ability to problem solve and create something wonderful out of whatever is before me.  I learned to use what I had through those years of lean.  Those moments I was mocked, bullied and at times even tortured, grew an empathy for others and an ability to spot those alienated.

The thing is if we ignore or run from those moments or seasons of suck we miss out on the sweet flip side that can find us later in life.  Its in facing the suck that blessing is found.  Living from your place of suck helps you to embrace reality while not settling for the mess.

Look at the non-profit M.A.D.D. for example.  You know you started it? Moms who lost their babies to drunk drivers.  They could have let that pain destroy them (and I'm sure it did in the beginning), but instead of remaining paralyzed by the pain, it motivated them to stand in the gap for others and do something about the problem of drunk driving.  It doesn't mean the pain goes away.  Grieving a life or pain from childhood isn't wrong, in fact its necessary.  I'm not sure pain from loss ever goes away, but we can choose to let it make us better or bitter.

Local friends lost a child to a blood disease and every year at her birthday, they celebrate by asking folks to donate blood.  That is an excellent example of facing the suck.

Its hard to think the crap storm we are in could be a gold mine but it definitely can be! Fertilizer does grow rich, nutritious produce, after all!  Life crap grows character, passion and purpose.

Our world changes so quickly and yet human emotions pretty much stay the same.  Life is hard and each of us have a choice to make.  We can let life take us down or grow from the our place of suck.

Again, let me state that this is not saying avoid painful emotion and skip grieving because that is a part of the process. We must own our emotions and walk that out, but there comes a time when we can become stuck in a bad place or choose to change the world through our own experiences.

Mr. Rogers is an amazing example and if you haven't see the documentary about him, I highly recommend it.  I also recommend you ask yourself what your own past junk has birthed in you.  Are you following your passions and maximizing your positive impact in the world?  The thing is the darker the world becomes, the further your light can reach.  Now is the time to make a difference! Happy Wednesday!!!

4 Things I Know...That I Don't Really Know

Sunday morning before heading to church, I got a call.  The news on the other end shocked me.  A woman at church, who I had just seen, had a heart attack and died the night before.  She wasn't young, but I still didn't see it coming.  She was making plans for upcoming events, trips with her husband, we had even just discussed food for a Christmas Event later this year.  The news of her death seemed surreal.  I can tell you, her death isn't the first one to take me off-guard either. 

Having this reaction got me thinking.  You see I know: 

1. Life is Short -

I know there is no guarantee for the days we are given. That is a truth I know, that I know, that I know and yet when the reality of this truth hits me in the face, I am reminded, I actually live life as if it will keep going as it always does, without recognizing we never know what is really around the corner.

As I contemplated the vast chasm between a fact I knew in my head and acted out in my life,  I wondered, what other truths do I know that apparently, I don't really know? 

Here are some others that came to mind:  

2.  Life Isn't Fair -

I know good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people.  I know just because I deserve something, it doesn't mean I will get it because life isn't fair and yet when I am faced with a situation that is definitely unfair, I am forced to reckon myself to a truth that I have suddenly forgotten. 

This reminder hits me once a week when I watch American Ninja Warrior with my son.  Here are competitors who train all year for this event, and yet, one slip of the foot on the first obstacle can take down even the most seasoned athlete.   

3.  I Have Absolutely No Control  -

Similar to the first two items, I often find myself in an anxious mess over hurdles in life because I have bought into the deceptive lie that by worrying, I can affect the outcome of anything in life. I have no control over a million things that can influence my life.

This truth seems to resonate pretty strongly through our country right now as people face evacuation from their homes in hurricanes and fires.  You drive away, after doing what you can to protect your home, without guarantee all will be well when you return.  One can't control a natural disaster or the obscene amount of traffic you encounter on your exit or reentry after the storm.  

Lack of control does not just touch us in disastrous circumstances; it also touches us in the every day world - rush hour traffic, repairman wait times, your toddler's behavior, a spouse walking out, your cable going out at the exact moment its supposed to tape your favorite show, losing a loved one to an accident or disease.  From momentous to the mundane, we have NO control over so many outside influences that affect our lives.  That can be a scary reality.  

4.  God is in Control -

Here's the great news I often (way too often) forget.  Not only is there a God in control, but he is a good God.  When life goes sideways and I experience one of the above, I can eventually find solace in this truth (you know, once I stop trying to be God in my own life).

Isaiah 55:8-9 reminds us that God sees and knows things we cannot comprehend.  He sees the full picture and regardless of what is happening in the moment - he's got it.  There are moments when this reality hits me like a two-by-four, as I find myself comparing reality with what I would do if I were God.

I don't see all He does so my decision will always be based on limited information.   I may one day understand why he did what he did in a particular situation but I also may never know this side of heaven. 

Truthfully, this list could continue on indefinitely, because as human beings, I find putting beliefs into practice can be easier said than done.  I just hope as you read this list, you will examine your own belief gaps and seek the truth you need to narrow that gap - if even just a bit. 

Find encouragement today in whatever mess you find yourself in, because you are not alone.  The rest of us humans are floundering too, like fish out of water.  We don't have to have it all together or be the best, we just have to continue to seek God and live a life that takes the best out of each moment.  There are no guarantees and just because we fail to recognize truth, doesn't change it from being true.  Happy Wednesday!