Why Do You Believe?

 Because I have moved a ton in my life and traveled even more, my faith has never been defined by denomination (Baptist, Presbyterian, Methodist, etc.) - I was simply a Christian.  I chose my churches based on their views of the Bible and their practiced spiritual priorities.  

So in 2005, when the church I'd worked for, for 3 years, left the denomination because of the denomination's decision to change the definition of "salvation" and adopt a more universal approach to their faith, I didn't see a problem.  We had to stand by the definition of Christian, as outlined in the Bible.  I was flabbergasted by the encounters I had with others who felt more allegation to the denomination than to Christianity as a whole.  They had always been a part of the Disciples of Christ denomination and that identity was supreme to them.  

Even though that choice felt foreign to me, its not uncommon.   As I read through Nabeel Qureshi's book, "Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus," I become more aware of just how impossible walking away from ones' belief system can be.  Its like the childhood assumptions created a foundation that our very identity hinges on and challenging that threatens one's perceived identity.  But this isn't just about changing religions.  

When I arrived in Visalia, and began to study the Bible from the perspective of the Jewish faith and Middle Eastern culture (from where it was written), I was in awe of how I had let Western culture taint my understanding of what the Bible was actually saying.  I realized a faith I accepted at 4, had been built upon often by uneducated volunteers filling a spot in some Sunday school class and that I had believed things just simply because someone told me to, not because I had been shown it as truth. 
  
Believing something doesn't make it true.  

Its hard to see  truth when it stands in opposition to something you have believed as truth your whole life.  It begins to open Pandora's box of wondering what beliefs are open for questioning.   Here's the thing when it comes to my faith, I am committed to believing what the Bible actually says, not what I believed it said just because its tradition.   

Studying the Bible has proven to be an enemy making activity.  Why? The more I study it and take it for what it really says in context of culture and situations of that day, the more I find myself alienated from established Christian groups.  Within the Christian community it would seem, I am by all accounts too liberal for conservatives and too conservative for liberals.   But our beliefs shouldn't be a package deal - believing x means you also believe in y and z.  

What changed for me? 

Issues like women's role in ministry, what is hell, and understanding what specific scriptures were actually saying began to completely change as I examined the original language and context of the scriptures.  

Reading my Bible wasn't enough, I had to study it.  If I assert that I believe in the Bible as God's word - active and alive, then I must know exactly what that means in order to truly live up to my calling of sharing the good news!!! 

This challenge isn't to tell you if you disagree with me, you are wrong, rather, its to ask, why do you believe what you believe?  Do you believe in something because you studied it and believe its truth or do you believe it because that is what you were always told to believe? I want to believe truth even when it crumbles the traditions I've always held true.  

So I end with this question: Why Do You Believe What You Believe? 

Making Friends In Your 30's and 40's

I am outgoing, I love to talk and I crave connection. Making friends was always pretty easy for me when I was younger.    As long as I was in school there was always a ready-made audience of people I could engage in conversation with which to build friendships. 

I have noticed as I've aged, the opportunities to meet people hasn't been as plentiful.  I have found these five things to be helpful in making friends in my 30's (and I'm guessing 40's - even though I don't hit 40 til September so if  I'm wrong, let me know). 

 Not everyone will be your best bud.  If you have 2-3 close friends, know you are heads above the rest.  In 2006, Janet Kornblum wrote an article in USA Today stating that 25% of people don't even have one close friend.  We have a very lonely society and internet dependence isn't helping matters.  I've said it before and I will keep saying it - online interaction should enhance your offline life, not replace it! Okay, now that I got that off my chest – onto the list!

 1.  Be Intentional

 We need relationships - some of us more than others so you have to be intentional!!!  Don't just expect people to come running, you have to initiate conversations and interactions. When my prayer group dissembled, I decided to start up my own.  I didn't just wait for the next opportunity, I went for it.  I invited a dozen friends, only one has met with me regularly and a few others come as they can, but I will tell you, that one and I have become close.   Join groups, talk to that fellow mom at pick up, invite an acquaintance to lunch -  just figure out a way to get in there and put in the effort.  

2. Be Uncomfortable

Put yourself out there and engage people even if its outside your comfort zone, yes its uncomfortable and awkward, but friendships aren't made in comfort zones, goals aren't met there either.  You have to be willing to be rejected and mocked, knowing that the end game is worth the work.  I have so much more to say on this but that is a post all on its own.  

3. Be Open

Understand that you may not always know, by appearances, who is going to be your friend.  Friendship is based on so many factors – many aren’t obvious at first glance.  Being open also means being open to possibilities of why someone isn’t connecting with you.  It’s easy to assume a rejection back story, but they might not be able to leave their safe space as easily.  That's ok.  Assuming someone's motives isn't. 

 4. Be Persistent

 What happens when someone rejects you (for whatever the reason)? You get up and you go again. Starting my own business this past September has taught me to embrace the "no's" and just keep going.  Success doesn't come in the absence of failure and rejection but in the persistence to continue despite it.  This resonates equally in the area of relationships. 
 

5.  Be Genuine

 Be yourself.  To have a deep friendship you need to be you.  I have a funny, loud laugh, I love corny jokes and I cry A LOT! I mean A LOT!  I love expressing emotion and the people that get me, get it.  I know I'm annoying sometimes, but my best friends love me in the midst of it.  It’s not worth the time and energy relationships take to be someone else only to have that friendship fall a part because you weren't doing you.

 So there is it.  If this was helpful – let me know and share with others.  We need more and deeper friendships as a whole in America.  Maybe this isn't a problem for you.  If that is the case, I hope this helped you understand someone who does and maybe you will be will to reciprocate when someone else reaches out to you.  We need each other - don't forget it! Happy Wednesday!

 

7 Ways To Train Up Prayer Warrior Kids - Part 2

Last week, I started the discussion of prayer and our kids. If you missed it, please check that one out first for the top 3 of my list!  I asked for feedback and I can't wait to hear how it went!  Let me know - trust me, I am listening (well reading, but you get the point). 

 
Here is the rest of the list:


4. Home Anointing - My home isn’t just the place I come to every night, its the place where I want to serve people and offer solace.  My home is part of my ministry.  I believe praying over every room and anointing the doors of every room gives my home to God and reminds me of the purposes of my life on earth.  Heck, when I get a new car, one of the first things I do, is anoint it. 

I am not here just to build a fortune and die, but instead to share the love of Jesus with the world.  Teaching my kids to anoint our home, can help them see the bigger picture spiritually. 
 

5. Praying For Each Other - My kids see me pray.  I pray for them and on the flip side of that I invite them to pray for me.  I want them to know that I need their prayers as much as they need mine.  It adds to the "us" of family, which I think is important.  Team dynamics will be a key for them well beyond the 18 years they spend in our home.  

6. Spirit Led Prayers - We aren’t practiced in the art of being quiet and still.  We live in an ever moving society, yet being in tune with God, with ourselves and with each other requires breaks from the noise. 

 

Being able to hear the Spirit of God quietly speak to your heart allows you to pray for things that you have no knowledge of and connect again with the body of Christ. 

 

Another aspect of this is praying for people as they come to mind.  This is another great place to utilize "prayer knots" - give your kids a string to take on their day and find out who came to mind.  We never know what people face but God does, so allowing Him to lead in this discipline is an amazing gift!  

7. Be a Prayer Gifter - Sometimes the best gift you can offer someone is prayer.  It lets them know you care and takes the time to engage in the deep places in their lives. 

 

I don’t like to settle for superficial in my relationships and the best way to care for the heart of someone is to pray.  I want to teach my kids to ask first, but I can’t tell you how many times, as someone has poured out their life to me the impact that was made just by asking, “Can I pray for you?" Give the gift that doesn't make the list, but is always needed and appreciated!

 

So what did you think? 

Which of these is your favorite? 

Do you have things to add?

I would love to hear from you. 

Comment below or find me on one of my social media pages.  This only works if we do it.  Don't have kids? Don't worry, invest in your own prayer life and see who God has plopped in your path that you could teach these things too.  So many of my kids are the teens and children that I have around me in life.  They don't have to call me mom, to produce a positive impact!  Go out there and be a part of the solution!!!

7 Ways To Train Up Prayer Warrior Kids- Part 1

This isn’t my first post about who I want my kids to be when they reach adulthood.  Their faith, character and integrity are definitely integral parts of what I am aiming at in my parenting strategies.  I definitely get a lot wrong because parenting is such a challenge and I am learning as I go, but seeing the end in mind in the middle of the moment is definitely key at making the parenting years count. 

One of the best tools my mom gave me as a young girl was the gift of prayer.  Prayer helps me lean into God when I don’t have enough on my own.  Prayer gets a bad wrap these days because so many say the word without actually doing the job of praying, but true prayer is powerful and life changing!

If you are like me, you want your kids to be people of prayer. 
 

I have come up with seven ways you can help kids become people of prayer.  My list was long so you will get it half today and half(ish) next week. 

Here are the first three:

 

1. Prayer Walks - Walks aren’t just for exercise, engaging your mind in knowing your surroundings and engaging your spirit to connect with God in the places you walk is making the most of that experience.  Last week I took my youth group on a prayer walk of our downtown.  Each stop represented areas we wanted to pray for in our city.  The teens responded really well. 

We also used "prayer knots" which gave them something to do on the walk.  As God brought things to mind, I asked the teens to pray and make a knot for that prayer.  We discussed what their knots were afterwards.  

Prayer walks can be connecting locations with topics of prayer or praying for each of your neighbors as you walk past their house.  Teaching your kids to be intentional in this discipline is an amazing skill.  

2. Environmental Prayers - I can recall two years ago, my son and I were in the car headed to preschool.  He called out to me that we needed to pray.  I asked why and he told me he saw a flyer for a missing cat and that cat and family needed us to pray. 

 

It completely blessed me to hear him note that and bring it to my attention.  I had never told him to pray for missing animals.  I had taught him to stop and pray whenever we heard or saw an emergency vehicle. 

 

Being aware of your surroundings is a good skill for safety but it is also a spiritual tool too.  Now when my kids see a homeless person we can offer them a grace bag of nonperishable food but also take a moment to pray.  When we hear a siren or pull over to let one pass, we pray. Thanks to Caleb, when we see lost pets, we pray.  There are so many other reminders of prayer all around us, we just have to pay attention.  What other ideas can you add to my list? 

3.Insomnia Intercession - I don’t struggle with insomnia, but when I do wake in the middle of the night, its my signal to pray.  You never know what people are going through around the world, or if someone is calling out to God and you are the one he woke to intercede (purposed intentional prayer) for them, you are blessed!  We are after all, the body of Christ - all equals and all interconnected.  Sure you can count sheep, or even count blessings like Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney in "White Christmas," but I prefer to pray.  Teaching my kids to do the same is a legacy I want to leave for the future.  

Do me a favor - try these out this week.  Comment below on how they worked and come back next week for the rest of the list. 

Training our kids to be spiritual powerhouses is the best gift we can give them.  Prayer works so well because its not just asking for the request asked in Sunday School, but it engages in spiritual things that we may have no knowledge about.  That right there is amazing!!!

Why Are We Here?

Do you know why we are here?

God met with his council and said, "Let's make man in our image." (Genesis 1:26-28) This with the purpose of us ruling with Him.  Satan wasn't a fan, of course then, he was Lucifer.  He didn't want us included just like first borns don't want to share mom and dad with their new baby sibling.  As we see the story unfold in the Bible, we can see, Satan became our enemy.  (I Peter 5:8) Satan's plans and God's plans stand in direct opposition (John 10:10). 

God did in fact create us (you know obviously, because we are here).  As we see the story unfold, we see that we messed up.  Adam and Eve left the garden.  God needed a new way to see his vision happen.  His new plan came in the form of a covenant, fancy word for promise or contract, with the children of Abraham, the nation that would come to be known as Israel.  If you've read the Bible you know they also messed up, so again, God needed a new plan to accomplish his goal.

Enter Jesus.

Who was (is) Jesus?  He was God in human form - not quite the Sci-Fi shape shifters but something like that.  Because Jesus was human he had the same issues we did (Hebrews 4:15) but because he was God he was able to be the perfect sacrifice.

In order for man to rule with God and his celestial council, (I Corinthians 6:3) we needed to be perfect, but no man had been able to do that.  In the pre-Jesus days, that perfection was sought through atonement - animal sacrifice.

Satan nor anyone of Jesus' day knew He came to die.

Everyone thought he came to rule like King David had.  They were expecting a government take over.  Jesus instead came to be the final sacrifice.  (Matthew 4:1-11) His blood would atone, not only for the wrongs of the Jewish people, but for all people.  His new covenant included everyone.

Good Friday is the day Jesus died.  Jesus first incited Satan with the purpose of being killed so he could take us back from our enemy - a rescue mission.

Then came Sunday.

Satan thought he had won, but he was duped.  Easter Sunday is the day Jesus came back to life.  He conquered the grave.  (I Corinthians 15:55-57) Good Friday and Easter re-established God's plan.  We can now rule with Him!

All we have to do is: 1) Believe, 2) Receive, 3) Follow (Romans 3:23, 3:10, 5:12, 6:23, 5:8, 10:9-10, 10:13, 10:17).  

In essence if we made the choice to accept God's sacrifice for our life, we are accepting a royal leadership role.

When we see stories in the news about Prince Harry's upcoming wedding with Meghan Markle, we read about the ways Meghan must transition into her role of royalty.  People have been up in arms over her requirement to give us social media, and yet trading everyday for royalty does come with perks and sacrifice.

Doesn't this same thing happen for us?  If we know we have become royalty with Jesus' act of love, doesn't that motivate us to live differently?  Instead of a focus on acquiring more on earth or getting what we want, shouldn't we be looking to the needs of others as more important than our own (Philippians 2:3-11). 

Easter is coming, and we have a story to tell.  That doesn't mean we don't participate in family gatherings, Easter egg hunts or shopping for a new outfit, but we have much more to celebrate!!!  Easter is a celebration of our freedom - our emancipation from death!!!  We aren't just waiting for the day we rule but we have part of God living in us (John 14:15-17) and heaven starts now!

So why are we here?  We are here to know God and make him known.  We are here to love one another.  We are here for purposes beyond this physical world!

4 Lessons From Disney's "Wrinkle In Time"

This last week my son and I finished reading the book, “A Wrinkle In Time” by Madeleine L'Engle. I told my son we couldn't see the movie until we finished the book, and even though he didn’t quite get why, he was motivated to complete it. We had a great mother/son date going to see the movie, but I would be lying if I didn't admit my disappointment with  Disney's take on this treasured book.  The undeniable Christian themes in the book were replaced with a universal religious message that didn’t resonate with me.  (On a side note: I also felt rushed through the story and missed some of the scenes that were omitted from the book.  I felt the depth of the story was lost as some of the modern elements inadvertently added  a superficial quality that distracted from the overall themes).  

Despite my criticisms, I still came away with some teaching points that Caleb and I discussed and were about to apply to our own lives.  

1. The Importance of Parenting - In the end, Dr. Murry apologizes to his daughter, Meg, for missing out on 4 years of her life because of his tessering misadventures.  He looks at her and says, “Instead of shaking hands with the universe, I should have been holding yours.”  

Parents are people and we have our own dreams and aspirations and that is never wrong, but when those dreams supersede our role as parent we miss out on the greatest opportunity we have to shape someone’s life.   Parenting is hard in the moments, but over before you know it. You can’t get that time back, so its important to give it your full attention.  We have to be present as parents and this message met me loud and clear from the silver screen.  

2. The Paramount Power of Love - Clearly when Charles Wallace is overtaken by IT, he is in all accounts, demon-possessed.  IT uses fear, revenge and anger as its primary weapon in overcoming any and every target.  Love, was the only thing that could overcome the evil of IT.  Love is what Jesus did on the cross, he gave his life for all and cared for us in that act, despite our flaws.  As Meg points out, love sees us for who we are and doesn’t quit in the midst of reality.  That love is what defeated IT and returned Charles Wallace to his body and home.  Love is what Christians are tasked to share with the world, regardless the circumstances.  

3. The Significance of Facing Your Fears - Calvin’s relationship with his parent (mom in book vs dad in movie) is  tumultuous at best.  The fear he faces is referenced in movie and as the final scenes conclude, he notes that it took him a "trip around the universe" to face his fears.  Finding Nemo is another movie that highlights this theme and its something we all need to learn.  Fear is a prison and love is the antidote. It does take risk to face one’s fears, but even if you fail, you are stronger for trying, and its easier to dust yourself off and try again.  Being free from fear is definitely worth any risk involved! 

4. The Treasure Of Being You - We are imperfect people and our comparison game of why someone else is better than us or how “this one thing” would make us better is a lie and a trap.  When we focus on what we wish we were, we miss out the beauty of who we actually are.  Meg is a great example of this as she encounters her dream self and has to use her faults to save the day.  This doesn’t mean we stop working at being better people, it just means we acknowledge the wonderful creation of God we truly are.   

Do any of these speak to you in the reality of your life, today?  Is there a challenge in these four points that can motivate you to explore outside your comfort zone and encourage you to grow as a person?  Whether you watched the movie or not, loved it or hated it, I think the bonus lesson is no matter what, you can always glean from your experiences in life, fictional or otherwise!  Happy Wednesday and beyond!! 

Why Parenting Is So Hard!

I think anyone who has kids, of any variety, knows parenting is HARD! Don't get me wrong, it is also amazing!! Becoming a mom awakened a part of me that didn't exist before.  I am in awe of these mini-people who fill my life with frustration and happiness of equal and epic proportions. 

But why is parenting so hard?  That is a bigger question than this blog post could ever answer, but the answer that is currently resonating with me is because of what our kids reveal in us.  Even though kids are unique, they still reflect the best and worst of us, as parents. 

My son is just like me so finding the parallels of my personal issues in his behavior has never been hard, but my daughter is another story.   When I found out my youngest was a girl, I cried. I cried because I wanted a boy.   

At the time I didn't fully understand what was happening in my soul, but as I've been her mom, I see now it was fear.  I was afraid to be a mom to a girl, because I was afraid to look at parts of myself I was subconsciously avoiding. 

As God has walked with me into the darkness of my hidden self-loathing, I have faced my fear of not being enough in being her mom. 

Let me be clear, I love my daughter and I wouldn't trade her for the world.  I also welcome the journey of self-discovery that raising her has led me on.  I am one who wholeheartedly believes, the best life is one that is free from past junk! Despite the pain of facing my inner demons, I am eager to be baggage-free. 

But all of this just enforces the challenges of parenting.  We are humans in process, after all.  Having to do everyday life and then be sent the unexpected self-awareness curveball through your child's behavior is downright, overwhelming!   You never know when your child will playback your greatest fears and worst habits in their tantrum about homework, or be hurt by a friend and be crushed in a way you remember happening when you were younger.  What is that one thing you hate about yourself?  Seeing it in that face you'd die for or wish you could rescue them from your flaw you despise  - is terrifying!    We can't stop our kids from being like us - human or from getting hurt. 

The good news is, we aren't alone and God has a plan.  He will use every ounce of our good and bad parenting to shape their character and purpose and to heal our past in the process if we let him.  Some of my favorite traits were birthed out of the hardest challenges I faced, so I have to allow my kids to do the same.  When I look at this in reverse, I can tell you, I know my parents faults, but I love being like them in spite of those traits. 

How great is God that he uses our kids to draw us out of our comfort zones and allows us the space to grow in our relationship with him, self-awareness and desire to heal?! 

As I am reading Job right now in the Bible, I am reminded how often we feel the need to give advice when what we really need to do is offer encouragement.  Sure advice is necessary at times, but we don't have all the answers so engaging others like we do, isn't always helpful.  Job had three friends with loads of advice, but failed to give him what he needed - someone to remind him, he wasn't alone and to encourage not to give up. 

So here I am, letting you know - you aren't alone, so don't give up!  If you need more relational time, make space in your schedule to spend time with people - face to face, so you can grow your friendships and take care of your soul.  Keep going - God is bigger than whatever you face.  Ask him to show you just how big he is, then stand back and watch!!!  Happy Wednesday!