LeighAshley's One-derland

Yesterday, was historic for me. Why, you may ask? Because, while I have experience in event and wedding planning, whenever the event is personal, I end up so stressed out in the minutes leading up to the big event that I volcano on all around me.  I hate it! I've tried to change but it's been my own Everest that's pinnacle evades me.  Yesterday, with the help of a few friends, I pulled off a great event without the freak out!!! I happily leave my flag at the peak, knowing it can be done! Now, that we have that virginal experience behind us, let's move on to the best part, THE PARTY! 

I love Alice in Wonderland! As a girl, my mom and I sang "I'm late" as we sped out the door in the morning.  I love the tea cups at Disneyland and love the Queen's rose bushes.  So turning that theme into my baby girl's Onederland seemed a given when planning her first birthday! I started with the invitation. (I've blurred personal info). 

Then it came time to plan. I overpopulated a Pinterest board with a plethora of ideas before selecting my plan.  I'm usually on a budget which means my ideas have to be reigned in a bit.  I'm apart of a great group of local people in a "For Sale" group on Facebook and I reached out to them and got a lot of great props on loan.  Then, I searched garage sales and finally sought out my missing pieces on Amazon. Here is the final result:

In this picture are two borrowed pieces that really added to theme! 

I made this banner above the door.

As people entered they could sign a copy of Alice In Wonderland for LeighAshley to read over her life.  

The party had both kids and adults so I decided to do one long table for adults like the Mad Hatter Tea Party, Vintage Style. Then I had kids tables on the side with coloring pages and toys. 

The long table was decorated with a variety of objects to include plates I found on Amazon that I couldn't afford to use for the whole party so I added them to the table along with matching napkins.  I used moss runners I found at Hobby Lobby, log rounds spray painted gold, skeleton keys from Amazon, a collection of tea cups and tea sets, vintage books, real and silk flowers, floral card stock and added some amazing cookies that my step mom procured from a talented friend.  

The set that goes with this pot is very special, it was given to me as a wedding shower gift from a surrogate mother figure who died from cancer a little over a year ago and having that set integrated brought her spirit to the event. 

This last set is was a gift from an older women in our church, who was a friend of my husband's late grandma.  This will be a special set to have future tea parties with! 

I love the sentimental elements to a party!

Our drink table:  

The food

Our marshmallow and strawberry toadstools. 

Fruit was cut out in bunny and heart shaped. 

Sandwiches were cut into spades, hearts, diamonds and clovers.  

One of my youth group teens helped me with rose cupcakes. 

For the smash cake I had another student, who does professional cakes duplicate the cake in the invitation. 

This table also had her growing garden. 

Each flower had her monthly photos. 

The Queen demanded, "Off With Her Gifts" as the banner says. 

I loved making the Rose bushes! 

Our favors was a Mad Hatter Make & Take Tea bar.  I found fill able tea bags on Amazon and made tea tags and then founds black and green tea, dried herbs and dried fruit. I loved this idea! 

I wanted to hang paper lanterns over the long table, but the ceiling was way too high so I thought the tea bar was a good fit.  

Then there's the birthday girl in her Alice inspired tulle and striped pants 

She watched the big kids bounce outside.

She sampled the food

She hung out with her guests. 

She enjoyed her cake! 

She played! 

All in all it was a great party! It was a great memory and a lot of fun! We were blessed by all our friends who came to celebrate with us! 

 

This special guest is exactly one day younger and we got pictures of them in the hospital together.  Fun to celebrate together! 

She loved her gifts and even her cards!!!

Thanks to everyone for making it special! 

The Best Job A Mom Can Have

I've been working in ministry & non-profit since (and before) college.  I love helping people and being apart of what God is doing in people's lives.  It is very rewarding despite the lack of pay and monetary benefits.  

As my life changed and I added babies to the mix, my ability to be out in the community helping beyond my hours at the church became impossible.  I felt the desire to still be in ministry, but also knew if I neglected my family to do it, I was wrong.  God is clear that my family is the priority no matter how noble my efforts with teenagers, homeless or the broken-hearted may be.  

Being a mom hasn't made me irrelevant in the body of Christ.  It hasn't benched me from the game for a few years, instead, I have found the perfect ministry opportunity as I've looked for a way to serve God and keep my priorities in tact.  You ready for my big revelation? The best job I have available to me as a Christian, ministry minded mom is PRAYER! Prayer is often overlooked but as a Christian it is your most important tool.  

Don't believe me? Read a few of these verses and see if it doesn't change your mind: 

Psalm 118:21, Psalm 66:20, Ezra 8:23, Colossians 4:2, Hebrews 5:7, James 5:15, Psalm 120:1 Psalm 116:1, Daniel 10:12, I Chronicles 5:20 and Ephesians 6:18.  

Prayer can be an intimidating word because of its simplicity, or it gets used in a way that minimizes its role in our spiritual journey. Prayer is crucial because it goes before us and prepares the path or better yet, prepares us for the path. 

“Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart.”

Colossians 4:2 NLT

 Best of all, it's the perfect job for moms because we can do it anytime, anywhere! In my journey to prayer warrior, I have discovered some ways to make my prayers as a mom more effective so I'd like to share those with you. (Note: You don't have to be a mom to apply them.)

1. Set reminders

There were some people in my life going through a hard time that really needed prayer so I set a reminder everyday at a specific time to pray for those people.  Even if I get busy, I get an alert telling me to put my mind on things above.  Might as well you my smartphone for spiritual things.

2. War Room, sort of

I was inspired by the movie, "War Room" that came out this past year, but wasn't at liberty to empty my closet in order to have one, by one, I mean a dedicated spot for prayer.  Instead, I began to fill up the inside of my cabinet doors.  

If you come to my house you may open a pantry door or kitchen cabinet and find a photo of someone I want to pray for or a notecard with a scripture I want to meditate on. I can fill my house with prayer prompts without creating a cluttered environment.   As I go about my day, I am reminded through my own busyness path to focus on the Lord.  

3. Keep Those Photo Cards

I don't send Christmas cards, but Valentines instead. I use the Christmas cards I get to make my list of Valentines, but usually those cards still find their way to the trash after the holidays.  This year, I cut out the photos instead of blessing the trash can with them and added them to my cabinet collection.  If you sent me a photo card you can be assured you've been added to my list of prayer. 

4.  Write it down

I don't always journal, but I do pray.  I decided this year, as I prayed I'd note what leadings I got from God.  Sometimes what I get is just my stomach talking about food, but when I am seeking intently, I can hear from God and write it down so I don't forget. Now I have a reminder when I need to look back on what God has said. It also forces me to have some quiet, intentional time listening to God.

5. Pray a Day

One of the results of number four, is a new relationship God prompted me to pursue with a mom ahead of me in the mommy race. Her kids are grown and now we get together to talk and pray.  I can glean from her through her experience when I just need a little help.  This last week she brought a tool that has me in awe.  It's a piece of paper with thirty-one attributes with corresponding scriptures so I can pray each day for my kids in a new area of their character.  I love it! Targeted prayer is amazing and each day of every month I can pray for what the Bible calls my kids to be.  I have found this makes good prayers for my hubby and me as well.  Today, was loving.  But in the last week I've read passages and prayed for my kids to be things like peacemakers, generous and respectful to others.  Whether you use a list like mine or make your own, assign each day a prayer target.  Maybe the first of every month is missionaries, second, politicians, etc. until thirty-one categories are covered.  Maybe you use letters and pray for people in those letter ranges instead. Regardless of your method, planning your prayers makes just as much sense as planning your finances. You cover it all!  

Prayer is powerful! It's a noble calling and God needs his children to get in the game and fight with him in this spiritual battle (Ephesians 6:12).

James 5:16b NLT

“The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.”

These years of diapers, the laundry avalanche, permissions slips and school projects can leave you lost and go by with a whirlwind, but they can count for something and it's your job to stand up and be counted.  We aren't always prepared for what's ahead but as Christians we know someone who is and He can help us, but we must stay connected despite the chaos.  

Unexpected Blessings

For the past two weeks I have been sick. It started after a big rain as an allergy reaction, then didn't go away and it would appear (as I was just informed by the doctor) I got a secondary infection from someone else.  So now I'm on some medicine and on the mend.  But as I've battled sinus issues and coughs etc, I did what my mom taught me (and reminded me) to do:

PRAY FOR THOSE WHO ARE SICK

I prayed for others with sicknesses like mine, but also those bedridden with chronic illnesses.  I prayed for people who aren't just sick for two weeks then get better, going about their lives, but those who face sick as a norm. As I prayed, do you know the amazing truth I discovered in praying for others who are sick? 

Doing so aids me with empathy.  I hate being sick, and it's challenging to find motivation to keep trekking with the responsibilities of life.  I can't imagine that reality being my reality!

Praying for those in my shoes also enables me to walk in gratitude! I can praise God that I live a fairly healthy life.  Embodying gratitude is truly about perspective, that is what Paul is talking about when he implores us to be grateful in all circumstances (I Thessalonians 5:18).  It's not saying, "Thank you God I'm sick, I love being sick!" Instead it's seeing what I do have through the lens of this challenge.  

I also see gratitude in the fact that I have people to help care for me. 

My husband has been caring enough to forego his time to veg to be with the kids so I could nap or get a bath. Can I tell you what a blessing that has been?!

Lastly, I've grown in appreciation for my mom! My mom was hit by a car a few years back and now struggles with Thoracic Outlet Syndrome, a nerve disorder that has her in constant pain.  She rarely complains, and keeps moving forward as a spiritual light to so many.  What a Godly example! She's also the one, afterall, that taught me to pray for others through the trials of life so that what I face can positively impact the world!!!

If you are reading this, maybe you've begun to do some reflection into areas where your life can lead you to pray.  What challenges have got you down and what perspective can you see that will grant you gratitude? Life is tough, and my cold isn't even a major challenge, but if you invite God into any challenge, you may be amazed at the results!

All God's Children

In case you are just tuning in, we live in a narcissistic, entitled society.  We've been conditioned to get everything our way, right away.  It seems like the perfect set up for life until you compare it to the paradigms of the Bible.  We are literally called to an existence at the opposite end of the spectrum.  That can create an intense inner conflict as we seek out a path in the midst of this struggle.

Lately, I've been overwhelmed by my over abundance! I am admittedly, an empathetic, heart on her sleeve, emotional woman.  It's an aspect of my personality that I equally love and hate.  I love that I can go there with people in ministry and feel what they feel.  The other side of that coin is becoming so invested that I become debilitated by the cruelty exposed in the life experiences happening around me, something only magnified by the small world afforded to me with social media.  Videos depicting the plight of countless refugees, Christians and other humans tortured at the hand of ISIS, innocent people murdered as a result of someone's fame obsession and young girls sold into sex trade to satisfy the perversions of sick individuals have all left me asking some hard questions.  

Its hard to stomach the vast array of life occurrences that are experienced by individuals all equally loved by the same Savior.  My routine drive through the Starbucks line and quandary over getting the right hair products can seem vapid in light of the simultaneous struggle happening in the lives of those experiencing persecution and abuse.  Who am I to belly ache about my poor service from my home warranty when I have a home! 

My life has it's struggles and I don't want to diminish the challenges so many in Western countries face with disease, divorce, addictions, abuse, familial loss and the like, but truthfully my everyday routine is free from danger and oppression.  That fact alone has illuminated a truly humbling perspective.  As I have taken all this to God, I've discovered some clarifying tenants to my outlook.

I had nothing to do with the circumstances I was born into; I can take no credit for when and where I came into existence only how I respond to that existence. Yes, my culture has bred a hyper-selfish nature! I do think a great deal more about myself than I should.  I do spend too much time on the details often forsaking the heart of what matters most. This is a struggle, I believe, I will always work at because it is so innate in our society.  I can be intentional to pursue others-focused activities and volunteerism to keep on track and honor the lives those in lesser circumstances.  I can also stand up against injustice when I see it around me or have opportunities to be involved in efforts across the globe. 

 I also have come to understand guilt, while understandable, is not a healthy response.  I was recently speaking with a friend about a family who were visiting Mexico. During their stay, one of their two daughters was abducted. That would be tough to walk out as those parents did what they could to save their lost child, but would still continue to give their best to the daughter in their care.  They wouldn't want the one in their custody to have guilt, as she did nothing wrong, nor treat her badly to keep things fair. That would never happen. This scenerio is a great metaphor for us as God's children.  God loves us all the same, but sin in this world can create some undesirable circumstances for some of his children.  The rest of us can pray and do our part but continue to live in God's best and desire for all, which leads to the next point.

God's goodness is not bound by the parameters of circumstance.  Recently, I was reminded of this truth at a day of worship I attended. Circumstances reflect the state of our world not the goodness of God. Even in the harshest of realities, God is at work to bring goodness to his children.  

We often focus on the moment when God sees the journey as a whole.  He is not limited by time like we are.  If we could have a broadened perspective spanning the scope of our entire lives we may come to see God in vastly different ways.  

Be grateful for the life you've been given and continue to pray for the people of this world, just as you would a sibling who was lost, knowing WE ARE ALL GOD'S CHILDREN! 

I Surrender All

I've been in two major tornados in my life. Once as a little girl living in my grandpa's (Pappy) trailer in Indiana and again as a college student at Texas Christian University (TCU) in Fort Worth, Texas.  Both were pretty intense situations. 

The metal roof of the barn behind our trailer was torn off during the first tornado; in the second, whole buildings were ripped up in the heart of downtown Fort Worth.  I still recall seeing a beautiful church sitting next to the steeple removed and placed just adjacent to the building.  

Tornados come through and when a structure gives way to the powerful winds it's taken apart piece by piece until nothing is left.  Imagine with me, if you will, a barn.

 As a tornado plows ahead in the path of the barn the roof comes off, the screws come loose, the walls burst forth.  It's a force that cannot be denied!

This afternoon I left my kids at home with my husband.  I got in my car and I drove to an event called, Oasis, put on by Full Sail Ministries.  This is a "come as you can" event with worship, prayer and spiritually directed stations to meet God on your own as you choose on a beautiful, peaceful ranch.  For someone like me working in ministry and motherhood, two things that are both busy and mentally taxing, this event is a HUGE gift. 

After a time of worship in the barn, the first station I visited centered around our posture of prayer before The Lord.  I laid my body down, face to the ground and said, "Lord, I surrender." As I said these words, God gave me a picture, something he does often.  This picture was of a barn and, you guessed it, a tornado. I could see this barn giving itself to the tornado saying, "I surrender."  As I saw this a sense of freedom filled my being.  

God has so much for me but it means letting go and wholly trusting him to do as he wishes, no matter the circumstances or feelings to the contrary.  It means giving him all and allowing him to get to work.  The surrender makes the process easier.  

So often my type A personality (my husband might say controlling), keeps me in a regimented schedule that pulls away from the force of the tornado instead of just giving in. When I fight the surrender I end up causing more pain and damage. The fight in life isn't mine, it's God's, and like with a barn and a tornado, I have no work to do, just be still! Exodus states this very truth in the fourteenth verse of the fourteenth chapter. As long as we fight it, we miss out on being apart of something bigger than ourselves. God is working for our good both personally and as a collective, and I'm glad for each opportunity he gives me to be the barn, because I need the practice.  What are you holding back? What do you need to surrender? It's not enough until you surrender ALL! 

 

Motherhood: A Message Amongst the Chaos

Today was a great day, you know why? Today, I only had to wear the "Mommy" hat! The work hats and the juggle I normally face weren't an issue.  I wasn't racing around with errands either.  I was able to focus on my kids! 

My son responded well to the multi-hat absence, and I was able to ask him for cooperation without a panicked "I've got a million things to do so get with the program" voice that usually flies from my mouth.  I calmly interacted with my son.  I encouraged him to help me with household chores and to treat his sister kindly and when he first disobeyed he got a response not a reaction, which only made things better!  

I've been a mom long enough to know that doesn't always work out.  Some days even with just one hat and well tempered responses you still get a defiant grumpy gus.  

I also know on days where my list is a mile long, all that has to be accomplished wrecks my motherhood which dominoes into a self-loathing pity party ending in a guilt trip and complete devaluing of my abilities as a mom.  

It's nice to look back on history where moms were just moms, but for many today that look back does nothing but cause discontentment and resentment to reality.  

I have to work.  

We weren't created to do it all, but sometimes we have to do more than God intended when He created the world. I try to work from home some days so my kids still get me but that also creates some serious chaos.  I chose this particular mix of work and home life so I wouldn't miss out on these precious years.  These days go quickly! 

I realize I have to: 

1. Make the most of each day

2. Give myself a pass now and then

3. Let stuff go sometimes - Supermom does not exist! 

4.  Understand I'm doing more than God ever intended, it's not best case scenario, but it will all be ok if I persevere. 

I am a GOOD Mommy!  I don't always have good days, but my kids were given to me with purpose and they need me.  They will survive my "moments." 

On days when I start believing anything else I need to remember the truth in the sentences above.  

Today, maybe you need to give yourself a break.  Embrace the truth that you're a good mom! Sometimes it's not you that needs to change as much as the amount on my plate! Take off what you can and give the rest to God!! You've got this!!

The Used Life

A year from this day I was pregnant.

We had finished summer with a great trip with our extended family in Carlsbad, compliments of my parents, and had gone to Disneyland before heading home.

My Aunt and Uncle hosted us and we enjoyed some time with them when we weren't in the park.

I was gearing up for the arrival of our new baby at home and was trying to figure out the best way to absorb the office furniture into the rest of the house as we now needed that space for a nursery.

I didn't have much of a budget and had struggled to get my vision for the room to come to life. As I talked to my Aunt, I discovered so many of the things in their gorgeous home were garage sale or Craigslist finds. 

 I shared my difficulty in finding matching lamps to place in the room and her response sparked something in me. She told me I didn't need matching lamps, furthermore, making a room look nice wasn't about trends but finding items you love. If you love it, you can find the right spot for it in your home. I could see the truth in this just by looking at her house. She was creative and innovative as she made things work where she needed them. It amazed me each room we entered how many things were treasures she had taken from someone else's discards. She had to revamp a few things to make them presentable or even a thing a beauty, but I was inspired. 

 I came home and began to search yard sales, Craiglist, Facebook groups and slowly began selling my stuff as I bought things that worked for the space. 

 I found something else besides furniture, I found God. At this point you may be asking, "What is she even talking about?" Let me take a moment to explain. You see as I set out to search, I prayed. I discovered not only was God meeting my needs but through the process he was teaching me to trust him instead of holding onto my things and relying on them. He also invited me to be a blessing to others through the things I was discarding. I could pray for the people who were buying what no longer worked for our home and discovered some amazing stories of just what a particular item meant to them.

 A year later, the room is pretty much done (okay so my house will forever be a work in progress). I have a baby who is 6 months old and I am still doing it. I found a great Facebook group that is secret and private and its a great way to look for things I need in everyday life. I can then go by pick it up with kids still in the car and give them my money or visa versa. 

I have discovered that I don't have to go to a store to buy everything I need. Sometimes, more often than you think, you can use something someone else has already used and save some money. There have been times when I say, "God, I really need this." I don't have the money to buy it new, and sure enough there it is in a price range I can handle! 

This past year I've become aware of just how consumer-based our society has become! Reusing, repurposing and borrowing is a great way to save money, save the environment and quite frankly, built community. 

 That has been the greatest treasure in all of this! I have found a community. As we buy and sell between each other, friendships are forming. Women rallying together to find donations for a cause, performing random acts of kindness as they show up at someone's door and just having fun! 

 The past year has taught me that the used life, is the life for me...and yes, I will do a post about my living room redo with pictures. So you better come back and check it out.