What Happens In the End

Earlier this month, I was writing grad cards for those students who were graduating and even though I try to make each card I write unique and personal for that person, let's face it, the bulk of what I can say is the same..."praying for what God has ahead," "excited to see what God will do in your life," "I know there is so much you can accomplish..."

While writing a card I realized, as I stand in a place of ministry where I have seen the lives people grow into, that just because I see the potential, doesn't mean it will happen.

I can think of former students who I've seen blossom into a spiritual and professional leader.  I've seen people become some of the most amazing spouses and parents, but I've also seen the other side of the spectrum.

Some students in all appearances, threw their life away, not because they made a mistake or bad choice, but some have chosen to just quit on the life that is before them and allow their mistakes to be their life instead of learning from them.

Each of us have potential.  God created us to all be amazing in our own way, and a lot influences who we become, but at the end of the day, that final decision is up to us.  It may not feel like a choice and yet, it truly is that simple.  We can't control the circumstances we face, but we can control how we let it shape us.

The best example I have of this is my grandma and her sister.  They are both gone now, but in their life, they both experienced the same hardships for the most part, but their attitude toward life was in stark contrast.  My great aunt was the quintessential Pollyana.  Life was sunshine and rainbows no matter what day it was.  She wasn't overly optomistic, but sincere in her love of life and others.  She made the decision to filter life through a glass half full perspective.  She was fun to be around!  My grandma was an amazing women, but unfortunately she lived with a pessimistic, glass half empty filter that often resembled Eeyore.  She was my grandma so I loved being around her, but the contrast between her and her sister, was definitely notable.

I have to remind myself often that I get to tell my story and decide how to tell it.  I can look at the negatives or see the beauty in the midst of the hard times.  My family has been hit pretty hard lately, yet my son and I were just watching a video about the slums in India and I realized my worse day is better than many peoples' reality.

Its never too late to change.  Its never too late to turn the tide of your life.  Maybe today is the day for you, or maybe you have a friend you need to share this with so that she can make the critical changes she needs to make.

We are all in this life together.  Our narrative may be different but our humanity is the same.  Let's help each other step up to the life we were created to live.  You've got this!! Keeping this basic reality check in mind can fuel the exact change you were looking for! This week has been crazy for me at work so this is my first time in years that I didn't get a blog post out on a Wednesday, so Happy Friday!  God bless you all!!!

A CHOICE

I got a text.  It was from a friend in rehab (I have a few of them there at the moment).  She thanked me for my card and I quickly responded with the following: 

I LOVE YOU!!! 

Followed by: 

I'm proud of you. 

As I typed that last sentence I had this epiphany.  I'm saying to someone in rehab that I am proud of them, and the "why" is what birthed my deep thought.  I have met several people lately in the middle of their life mess, and honestly, I am in the middle of my own life mess.  I could record and replay the message I hear from people faced with reality - they are awful for where they are and facing it just reminds them of the bad person they are. 

Reality is, we all are in the midst of some type of life situation.  The details are different for all of us, but humanity is in all of us.  It takes courage to face up to life.   

I realized in that moment people have to make a choice in who they become.   

1. Those who face life head on and in spite of the failures and struggles that seek to define them, reach out for the life they want.  These people seek to be whole, healthy individuals.  The struggle is the hurdle, not the defining quality.  These people call out for help when they get stuck so they will ensure they reach their goals and find success.  

2.  Those who hide behind their masks and keep their secrets, thoughts and addictions from the world.  Perfection is always an illusion and those who put up the image of perfection are usually trading relationships for busy work or looking good.  These people are tired from being who everyone else wants them to be and feeling enslaved to self-imposed expectations.  

We often get tricked into thinking we are the only ones struggling with thoughts, insecurities, fears, addictions, weaknesses, temptations, etc, because so many people seem to have it together.  BUT ITS A LIE! There are no perfect people. 

 Of course not everyone's junk is created equal and some of us have more to overcome, but we can choose to cry at reality and keep making excuses, all the while climbing deeper in the pit, or we can face the man in the mirror and do what we have to do to be who we want to be.  We have to speak truth to the lies and realize while we will always be facing new obstacles throughout life, how we respond to them largely affects how they affect us.  

I was proud of this woman as well as a few others I am working with because they are choosing to face all the hurt and pain below the surface.  Usually the addictions or bad behaviors we develop are symptoms of some underlying issue.  

My own choice to have an abortion at 18 was a cover-up mission to hide the pain I had from divorce, abuse and false religious expectation.  Its sad that my turning point came at the cost of my son, but it was where I faced myself and the lies I was holding as truth and began to heal from everything.  

I am proud of people who make the choice, no matter how big or small, to be themselves, face lies they believe and begin to find their voice in this world.  I am proud of people who say, "no," to the things that keep them down and are willing to do the work in exchange for freedom.  

So here's my final question for you, which person are you?  If you are number 1, or see you are number 2 and want to change, hear me say: I AM PROUD OF YOU! We each have some choice in the person we are each day.  Find your choice and make it wisely! Happy Wednesday!!!