Yes, the teen years are challenging both for the teen and the parent, but teenagers are amazing people in process, who are full of possibilities and open to life.
It has been my honor for a good part of my adult life to work with junior high and high school students. My journey with this unique population started in my junior year of college. I worked as a volunteer with the youth group at the church I attended during my semester abroad in London.
One favorite memory was a sleepover my friend, Kristin, and I hosted at one of the girl's homes. We painted nails and hung out making snacks in the kitchen, and we also shared our experiences through timelines of our life. We even managed to learn a bit about God over the course of the evening.
I loved it! Maybe that was when working with teens became a part of me, I just didn't know it yet.
I came back to the states and my senior year intern experience for my sign language minor involved planning an event with Imagination Celebration, an arts festival for the local deaf students.
This arts festival included deaf dancers from Gallaudet University and around the world. It was an amazing experience and I was so honored to be involved and to see the faces of the students who attended.
My senior year I had no idea what I was going to do after graduation. It was daunting to see the end of college approaching without any idea what was in store. But then I was contacted by Julie Wood from Doulos Ministries, who said I had signed up for more information about their ministry my Freshman year (a memory I still don't recall to this day).
Doulos Ministries offers post-college aged adults a one-year discipleship program that not only teaches about the Bible and provides ministry training, but works as the care staff for Shelterwood their residential care facility for troubled teens (now its called a therapeutic boarding school). This year also came with training from the staff counselors. I applied and was accepted and began to work on raising support.
After graduation I returned to Visalia, Ca, the town my dad and stepmom relocated to after my dad's retirement from the Army. He decided to trade his role as a Military Chaplain for the lead Pastor of a church. While I was home for the summer I worked alongside the youth pastor as the assistant. I enjoyed building relationships with the kids and teens of the church over the summer, then headed to Colorado for the next adventure.
The year at Shelterwood was wonderful but hard, I packed my bags a couple of times in that year completely done with the experience, but I made a commitment, so I stayed. I tell people I'd never take it out of my life, but I'd also never do it again.
I forged friendships in that year that have been amazing blessings over the years. I also learned a ton! Working with teenagers facing hard stuff changed me and how I looked at life, how I viewed my Bible and how I faced the world, and I was better because of it. As the year wrapped up, I thought my time with teenagers was over.
I got a call from my dad asking if I wanted to come be the youth pastor at his church, after the one I'd worked with had to be let go. I really wanted to stay in Colorado but had a hard time getting a full-time job. I told my dad if I didn't get a job I applied for at my church, I would consider going. I didn't get the job,but I still wasn't sure. One night I decided to stay in Colorado, and before calling my dad, I called my mom in Ohio. She wisely told me to sleep on it. I woke up the next morning and knew I needed to go, despite my resistance to do so.
February 1, 2003 I drove out with my dad in his van behind me and moved myself and all my belongings to Visalia. It started out as a very part-time position that came with free housing in my parents' guest house. I told myself this was temporary.
My hours grew and so did my years there. Before I knew it I had been there 15 years. It was crazy to see adults around town who I knew as a teenager. The silly moments, the tearful exchanges, the relationships and spiritual growth were all part of this career I accidentally built.
Shortly after my 15 year marker, my dad announced he was retiring. He and my stepmom were moving to Texas to live near some friends and I was faced with the reality of being without my family in my work and in my town.
In this 15 years, I had gotten married, helped raised my husband's two girls and birthed two kids of my own. I have my own family but it is different. What was really weird was, I was going to stay at the church. That church of my dad's I had temporarily come to help. A new pastor stepped into my dad's spot and things started to change.
I saw 16 years come and go, but just after that, our children's pastor stepped down from her job, and the offer to do both children and youth full-time was offered to me. I didn't want full-time and I also knew I couldn't be a youth pastor forever. Some of the aspects of the job were proving hard with kids of my own.
So plans were made to hire someone and shift me into an Associate Pastor role working primarily with women. It seemed like natural transition as many of the teens I'd loved over the years, came back to me seeking guidance as adults. It was like my past created a new position for me.
I knew it was time for a change and I am happy with my new role, but I have to say I miss teenagers. My husband says I will never stop being a youth pastor because being there for teens is just part of me. I'm sure he's right, and as I reflect over the journey, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Thank you to every teenager who crossed my path and just know I am always here for you from the youth group kids still in high school, to the ones in their 30's who I knew when it all started. Teenagers are a blessing, something more people should appreciate! Happy Wednesday!
