Its Not Sin

Being a Christian in 2019 is hard and the biggest reason its so hard is because "Christian" can mean a variety of things based on who you are talk to.  That is confusing.  The Bible understood through context is really the only starting off place for knowing truly what a Christian is and what they believe.  As we navigate the definitions or the central beliefs, we have to be cautious with taking a belief as it comes from the lips of friends, family and acquaintances as a Bible-based Christian principle.  

March of this year, our dog was hit by a car, and in a process of a couple months, needed two surgeries, in that window, our 4-year old randomly started seizing and almost died in the local ER before recovering at the children's hospital about an hour away. 

Also in this time frame, we needed to get our roof replaced after some record rainfall left puddles in our house.  Just as we came out of all of that, our second dog and a neighbor dog got into a fight and we had to pay for the vet bills for the neighbor's dog.  

We then discovered my car was having trouble and had to be repaired.  In 5 months not only did we suffer these incidents and a few other ones too, but these incidents came with 5 major financial hits.  We went from being debt-free to $20,000 in debt and that is after the almost $10,000 we were able to pay off. 

As my husband discussed all of this with a friend, the friend (self-proclaimed fellow Christian) mentioned to my husband that maybe we had some sin in our lives that was causing all of this.  

Insert eye roll here.  Bad theology rears its ugly head.  To set the record straight, that comment is wrong!  Negative life happenings is not automatically a result of sin. If you are in question of that, read the book of Job in the Bible.  Job's friends accused Job of sin when his world was rocked, but God set them straight.  Life is hard.  

I'm not saying God never punished someone, and I'm also not saying, natural consequences of our choices isn't a thing, because it is.  But just because you go through a hard time, doesn't mean, you have sin in your life. It also doesn’t mean God has forgotten you.  God is always with us in the midst of the hard times and the good. You are a human being living in the imperfect world.  God does make us a promise in the hard times. 

 John 16:33 says, 

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

We are promised peace in the middle of the mess we call life. As Christians, we know this world is not our home.  That eternal home is heaven.  Our goal should never be a problem free life.  Instead it should be to follow Jesus and to trust him in the midst of whatever storm we have endured.  If I'm being honest, some of my biggest blessings and strongest traits were forged out of the hard things I went through in life.  A few of them were a result of sin, but God didn't forget about me or abandon me.  He let me figure it out and when I came back running, he was there.  He guided me and I followed and I was better for it.  

Sin is the wrong we do against God, and it does separate us from God.  The point of dealing with sin is so that we may be closer to our Creator.  Its not just wrong actions but attitudes and when we read the Bible, we see that the religious leaders who acted above the law and spent their time condemning the people, were living in sin.     

Each of us as friends should be supportive for those in our lives as they walk through life, waiting to cast judgement when we don't have all the information. We are best at speaking wisdom when its wrapped in love.  We also should take time to reflect into our own lives.  David is a great example of how we should approach God.  He was humble as he asked God to search him and lead him to in the right way (Psalm 139).  We all have areas we could improve or change, even in the smallest of ways.  Go to God and ask him if there is sin in your life, but not because you are fearful of being zapped, but because life connect to Jesus is the best life! 

4 Benefits of Being Bullied

As I begin this, let me say, 

I do not condone bullying. 

To be fair, kids today have to deal with bullying on a level I NEVER did as a kid, so please know I am not diminishing the severity of this issue. 

The point of this blog is to show how something meant to push me down, in fact, ended up blessing me with some amazing gifts.

As I look at some of my skill sets today, I see that many of them came through adversity and it is good to be able to celebrate beauty that can develop through pain. I am a likable person and as a whole, get a long great with others, but there was a time in my life where I wasn't so popular.  Truth be told, my home life had a lot of challenges that didn't exactly aid me in my efforts with peers at school - trying to pretend I cared about the "trivial" things that most pre-teens and teens grappled with proved a challenge as I lived with realities most people should never have to experience.

It also didn't help that I said whatever I thought.  I've never been great at censoring my opinion and when I am around people that just want to hear what they want to hear, its usually a recipe for disaster.  If all of that wasn't enough, I also, then, like now, wore my heart on my sleeve and never excelled at masking my emotions. 

All of this meant,  I had some lonely years at the bottom of the food chain. I was made fun of for my looks, family, and moral compass - just to name a few.  I was left out, picked last, teased, gossiped about, taunted and downright bullied. 

I persevered and guess what?  That season didn't last!  Yes, it felt like forever in the midst of it, but now looking back I can remember the beautiful years that followed and now I see some tools in my life box that I gained through those hard years.  Here are just a few of the rewards I gained from my bullied years:

1. A TRUE UNDERSTANDING OF WHO I AM

Being able to see myself bullied and later admired, I could see that if I left my value in the hands of others, who I am would constantly change.  Regardless of your status on the social ladder, if you know who you are and know your value, it doesn't change with the changing tides. That constant is a solid foundation in our ever-morphing world.  Those peer uncertainties don't stop when you reach adulthood either, so its good to know who you are and choose how you want to be defined.  Your value is too high to let someone else decide what it should be. 

2. AN EYE FOR THE ALIENATED

I can join a crowd and in an instant am aware of anyone being left out.  I have a hyper-awareness of those off on their own.  It makes a great skill in connecting with teens as a youth pastor and reaching people just as a human being.  Not everyone wants to be a part of the crowd because we all have different personalities but being aware of those around you and checking-in to make sure their separation is by choice, is an amazing gift.

3. AN ABILITY TO GIVE GRACE

I can recall one particular person who said some pretty devastating words to me in regards to my life and more specifically why I should take it.  Suicide is very serious business.  But since those years, I realize that in our junior high days we don't always realize the weight of our words.  We live in the moment and often only see ourselves.

This person grew up and later after discussion regretted and apologized for this very conversation.  It wasn't because it was in their memory - honestly, they had completely forgotten it, but I hadn't and as I saw the root of this adolescent indiscretion, I was able to forgive this person.  Good people do bad things.  It happens and like this person, I too have had my moments.  Grace is a beautiful gift to give and receive.  I want to be in that gift-giving business so I am ready when its my turn to receive it. 

4. A HEART OF COMPASSION & EMPATHY

Even though I can be a down-right emotional mess at times, my vast array of social standings throughout my life, has gifted me with the ability to see beyond someone's masks and see them.  I have a compassion for those suffering and experiencing pain in whatever circumstances they are living.  I truly do cry with people because I can naturally put myself in their shoes.  I obviously have to put up boundaries for myself so I don't develop some superman complex and try to save the world, because I am not and cannot, but it does give me some great prayer times. Its a gift to see someone and be able to meet them where they are.


What lemons have brought you lemonade in life?  Can you see some skills you have today because of adversity you have faced?  Maybe its time to notice it and share it!!!

4 Things To Do Before You Speak

Recently, while driving I heard a radio DJ speak some truth that resonated with me.  I am not sure the topic they were discussing as I had just gotten back in the car, but Zach, said something to the effect that many people think that if something is true that is enough for them to speak it to others, but context and timing have a huge impact on when and how we should speak it.  I couldn’t agree more!  Speaking truth in the wrong time or with the wrong motives is in fact, wrong.  

Sometimes the best thing we can do is be quiet.  This week in my Bible reading, I was working through one of my favorite books, James.   In James, we are told to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger (James 1: 19-21).  I know more than anyone that my mouth can be my greatest asset and quickest downfall.  

We think we always have the best thing to say and we are usually dying to get it out.  We are often so quick to speak that we fail to hear the person to which we are talking and in life words aren’t the only solution resource we have to offer.  So what else can we do besides run our mouth?  Well, its pretty simple!

1. Pray - 

We aren’t God and prayer often reminds us of that.  We are called to walk by the Spirit of God but how can we do that when we are walking by the spirit of self.  Its not a part of the Holy Trinity its just a human perspective and not the only one.   Prayer connects us with people through God who knows the other person greater than we do. 

 2. Be -

In an online world, we have lost some offline tools.  The best relationships are found in human, face-to-face, contact.  Quiet is awkward but often necessary.  I recall a story by pastor and author Craig Groeschel where he went to be with a family who had lost a child.  He felt he floundered in his condolences but later found his quiet presence with them in their home was exactly what they needed.  We need to not only be still in our time with God, but also in our relationships with each other.  Just being in the presence of our family and friends without outside distractions can be a powerful force that forges the relationship and holds our souls together.

3. Touch -

I recently ran into a woman I know in public.  She happens to be someone I hold a  great affection for and unfortunately don’t see often.  As our paths crossed, she shared some new bad news she received from her doctor.  In that very public place I grabbed her and hugged her.  That hug did more for both of us than any words I could utter in that moment.  During my years in college, I heard the statistic that as humans we need 20 hugs a day to feel secure.  I don’t know if the number is accurate, but I do know the concept is true.  We need physical touch.  Touch is very powerful with friends and family.  When my friend, who is not a touchy-feely kind of person, lost his wife, he was welcoming of a hug.  It was comforting in a very tenderly hearted moment.

4. Listen - 

We learn the most by listening not by talking.  When I say listen, I mean actively receiving and processing what the other person has to say without any thought to a rebuttal.  Sometimes the best way to make headway with someone in a debate or growing a relationship is by lending a listening ear.  Whether or not you understand or agree, can you become empathic or hear the heart behind the words?  

Not only do we not need to have all the answers in every situation, we likely do not have them anyway.  Too many debates are happening on social media and they are tearing up relationships because there is no relational foundation for the weight of the words we are using.  We think we know the words to say to change someone’s mind on a hot topic or to salve the soul of someone walking a hard road, and even if we do, I suggest you first pause before you speak.  Ask yourself, “Even if this is true, is this the best time and medium in which I can say it?”   Maybe its your turn to speak truth, but taking a second to evaluate can save a lot of heartache if its not.  Remember, you have other tools at your discretion, use them!