Two Kinds of People

I sat in church recently and just gazed at my son sitting next to me.  I am in awe sometimes of who he is because even though my husband I had part in making him, he grew in my body, I birthed him and we have raised him since then - he is his own person.  As parents we help him grow but part of that journey is discovering who he is.  At the end of the day, God made him. 

I pulled him close and whispered something into his ear that I wanted to share with you. 

There are two kinds of people in this world.

1. People who want to discover who you are and get to know you.

2.  People who judge you and try to make you something they want you to be. 

Show love to everyone, but make sure the people you spend time with are people in the first group.  Be around people who want to know you, instead of the people who tell you who to be.  That can be hard in our world, where people say they are individuals yet put their energy into being just like everyone else.  Yet being ourselves is necessary for personal happiness, holiness and freedom.  God made us with a purpose and the world is suffering if we aren't being ourselves.  God may transform us more into his likeness as we seek him in relationship but that comes from the freedom of living in the shoes he placed us in. 

I didn't end the lesson with that point because I felt it imperative I finish up the lesson by adding - you also need to be the first person.  Its easy to judge people, but its harder to dig deeper and find out who they are and what makes them tick.  Doing so is worth it.  Deeper relationships happen through authenticity.

Last night I was at a local summer book club.  We are reading through, "UnAshamed" by Christine Caine.  One of the discussion questions was something like, "Do you hang out with people with the goal of friendship and fitting in or for respect?"  As we discussed, we noted as teens and young adults our aim is often to fit in and be accepted, and its not until we get older that we realize the importance of being respected.

Dr. Henry Cloud shares in his book, "Changes that Heal," that true bonding isn't possible without proper boundaries.  Respect is a part of that.  We can't get close to people who don't respect where they end and we begin.

Do you foster relationships that bring healing to your life and bring out the best in you and others or do the relationships in your life bring about pain and unhealthy conflict?

We get to choose how we want our lives to be - well, at some level. Too often we complain about the things we can't control and passively accept the circumstances and people we have a say about.  I'm not advocating mistreatment of others, instead, I am encouraging you to be and be around the first type of person I listed above.  Show love to the second time of person but keep your emotional distance.  They need to learn to be the first type of person and you can model it for them by being the first person.  We all deserve the best relationships, do you have those in your life? What are the biggest obstacles you face in being the first person? I'd love to hear from you!  Happy Wednesday!

Spiritual Life - The Lights of Christmas

It never fails, the most profound things seem to always come from the mouth of my 3 year old. He has been many a sermon illustration or communion meditation, as I can see God in the questions and comments he makes. Christmas time brings with it a lot of his favorites to include lights. The other night driving home from Target, been there 5 times in 3 days...I know it highlights the need for a support group, we decided to go see some lights. While not every house is decked out yet, there are enough to enjoy with kids. My 5 year old in a 28 year old's body and my 3 year old loved identifying everything they saw and heard as we pulled over to watch a light show to music in a neighbor's yard. We had a fun time.

The next morning my son asked me, as we were driving, where all the lights were? I explained that we don't turn them on in the day because you can only see them at night when its dark. I've heard Christine Caine share a similar story about her daughter and a flashlight and it sent me into spiritual mode. As I discussed this phenomenon with my son, and answered a long string of, "why" I realized this spoke deeply to the commission God has given us and brought a certain scripture to mind.

Matthew 5:16 - In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they might see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

Our light only shines in darkness. When we congregate only with other Christians and shut out the world we are wasting our light because it is doing nothing. That is not what we were called to do. We were called to shine and that only truly happens in darkness. Being with other believers is not wrong, but our time with believers should be spent encouraging and preparing us to go out with purpose to share our light.

Its easy to get stuck in what's comfortable and easy, but that was never what we were made for! Doing life should be a little messy and uncomfortable. We should be around people that challenge our views and our norms. We need to be people who are approachable and adaptable to whatever mission field God calls us to. If we are so used to being with others like us we miss out on a great gift. Why?

1. We won't grow, and growing is what brings us closer to God.
2. We won't get a full picture of who God is - we are all made in his image and when we only seek out others like us, we only get a limited view of our Father. Sure the world can taint people but find the challenge of seeing God in everyone.
3. We will miss out on what God is doing. We were meant to be apart of something bigger than ourselves and when we put a box on our experiences we handicap God from working fully in our lives!
4. We won't fully know love! The manner of love given to us by God means loving people who hurt us, and when we know love beyond an easy mutual affinity with someone else, we begin to know what the cross was all about.
5. We won't shine. We will be a boring house with lights on it but not plugged in as the sun shines on us exposes the cords. Let the sun set and plug in so you shine and shine bright!!!

In the words of Chris Rice - "Take your candle, go light your world."