There are no shortage of bullies or bad guys in our world today, but it seems that the worst person to each of us, is ourselves.
Since we are talking about mindset this month, we would be remiss if we didn't address the word/thought connection (I don't know why but writing this made me start singing the "Rainbow Connection" in my head). Our thoughts are often fueled by what we tell ourselves, whether it be silently or out loud. It stands to reason that if we want our thoughts to change, our words need a makeover as well. Yes, we can say encouraging things to help keep ourselves going, but far too often, we are the ones tearing ourself down.
If you did the exercise a few weeks ago, you may have been surprised by the thoughts you had. How much of it was negative self-talk?
This year my son's school has had the theme, "Speak Life.'' (Psalm 19:14 (NIV) - "May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.") He came home the first week of school excited to show me a video on YouTube. He brought up the video for TobyMac's "Speak Life" - and was so excited to show me how speaking good words helped us to be better people and help others.
The truth is, we are motivated by life giving words. I'm sure this next sentence is repeat for me, but it needs to be said. If we were the kind of friends to others that we are to ourselves, we would need new friends.
1. Ask yourself - If my best friend were in the same situation I were, what would I say to them? We far too often give ourselves permission to belittle ourselves, when we would never speak to someone else in the same way. So start by speaking to yourself, the way you would speak to a good friend.
2. Focus on your strengths - When your tempted to bully yourself and start a hyper focus fest on the ways in which you suck, take a moment to write down your strengths - the best things about you and begin to look at that.
If I've learned one thing from reading books from authors like Dr. Caroline Leaf or Carol Dweck its that the more you think something, the stronger that thought becomes and the strong thoughts are the "go-to" thoughts as we navigate in life. So instead of focusing our thoughts on the negative, flip the script and focus on the best things.
If you don't know what your strengths are - gather your friends and ask them. Take notes if you have to, but leave that time, knowing your best qualities. Change the filter - you are awesome!
3. Praise God for You and Your Life - A thankful heart prepares the way for God. Praising him and thanking him has amazing power to open our hearts to receive from God. God created us, he knows us and honoring him and connecting with him only enhances how we live.
Go into your day with a beautiful view of you. Next week we will get into the why, which I think is the last remaining piece in this topic discussion, so come on back! See you Wednesday!
Life happens to all of us. Its not because God doesn't care or because He loves some more than others. We only see our own pain with unique, close-up perspective, and that perspective can warp what we see in the lives of others.
We spend so much time asking, "Why?" Instead we should be asking, "What now?" To have a little pity party when life falls a part isn't wrong, and honestly is probably in order. The length of the pity party is where we can find the problem.
Do you ever feel stuck? Like you know you want to be over there or even just somewhere else but you don't know where or how to get out of the current mess?
The problem is we too often run from the obstacle instead of running right into it. We have to run into it so we can understand why we are still there (sometimes under the watch of a trusted therapist).
I've mentioned before that I have several people in my life right now that are facing addiction. Its caused me to pause as I speak to them, hug them and pray for them. I want to shake them and tell them to just stop, but its not that simple. I can't do anything for them - that's called co-dependency and it doesn't yield anything beneficial.
As I was talking to one of the people on that list recently, I asked what the issue was. I probed into the self-talk and what they saw in themselves. I was met with instant emotion. I had hit a nerve because I think whether its addiction or any other life obstacle, the biggest place we get stuck is how we see ourselves.
No amount of compliments can change the negative self-talk that is on repeat in our heads. It can change but that change doesn't just happen, its has to be met with an action-plan that takes time and effort.
You have to stop the lies that feed you and the only way to do that is to face them head on!
What are those sentences you hear over an over again?
Write them down.
You should have them memorized because you hear them ALL.THE.TIME!
What is the message those sentences are speaking to you? Are they true? Trust me when I say they aren't. You aren't worthless, you aren't a loser, you aren't crazy, you aren't a nothing, you aren't the sum of your actions or the sum of the actions of others.
YOU HAVE VALUE - because and only because GOD PUT IT THERE!
You need to feed your brain the truth.
Go check out websites like this one that tell you who you are in Christ. Right those down and read them to yourself and if you need more on this topic - read about my, "I AM" journal.
Start today but stopping the negative messages and replacing them with positive ones.
Recently I was feeling abandoned. I put on my essential oils (yep, I'm that lady) and I started searching for the antonyms to abandonment. Then I wrote down those in "I statements" - I am supported, I am accepted, I am adopted...I went to work to reverse the lies playing in my head. You can do the same, but know if you've been listening to the junk for awhile, it will take awhile for the positive messages to take hold and stick. So keep at it! You've got this.
Was there a friend that this made you think of? Share it with them. Everyone can use some encouragement!!!
I will be honest, I get tired of my own issues. I work hard to be the best I can be. I am always learning and growing but I still fail - A LOT!!! My mom lovingly helped me recently to see, despite my lifetime battle with the same issues, I am making progress. I rebound faster and when I fail its not the train wreck status it was in the past.
January of this year I got hit pretty hard and wrote the following. Unfortunately, I'm just getting around to sharing it with you.
I often feel unworthy of the words I write in this blog. This past week was no exception. After reading the mantras I needed to feed the positive in my thoughts, I found myself in my pit of despair speaking the lies I am fighting so hard to conquer.
When I feel like an utter failure, like the one mistake God made, and when I hear myself question if I even deserve the life I live, I am encouraged to know I am not alone in this struggle.
My thoughts can often be my greatest battle. Books have been written about the spiritual battlefield of the mind. I am not just fighting for myself, but anyone else who battles the inner demons. This is the first week of this new year and I've already fallen, but its not going to keep my down.
I don't know how you are starting your year off, but if its less than those sparkly ideals you envisioned, don't give up! Remember, you aren't alone, God is speaking to you and working in you and he wants you to get up and keep going. If my life can be an example of the ways God leads you down that path, then let it be. Truth is I am not a failure, but I do fail because I am a human.
When I define myself with my missteps I am doing no one any favors. We are in a fight every day against the enemy and against our personal issues. I have to keep fighting for myself and for the people that rely on me.
I don't know what you get up and face, but I do know you are worth the fight. Change the script and begin to call out the thoughts that don't belong in your self-talk. Speak life and truth and be the kind of friend to yourself that you would want to be to someone else.
If you remember anything from these words, remember you are worth it. Don't judge yourself by the number of times you fall on your face, but the number of times you get up. You will get there, even if it takes 90 years. Here are a few scriptures to give you encouragement today!!!
Deuteronomy 31:6 - Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the one who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.
Psalm 55:22 - Give your worries to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will never let good people down.
Ephesians 2:10 - God created you to do amazing things. (paraphrase)
Romans 15:13 - I pray that the God who gives hope will fill you with much joy and peace while you trust in him. Then your hope will overflow by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Psalm 46:1 - God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Lamentations 3:22-23 - The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
