Life happens to all of us. Its not because God doesn't care or because He loves some more than others. We only see our own pain with unique, close-up perspective, and that perspective can warp what we see in the lives of others.
We spend so much time asking, "Why?" Instead we should be asking, "What now?" To have a little pity party when life falls a part isn't wrong, and honestly is probably in order. The length of the pity party is where we can find the problem.
Do you ever feel stuck? Like you know you want to be over there or even just somewhere else but you don't know where or how to get out of the current mess?
The problem is we too often run from the obstacle instead of running right into it. We have to run into it so we can understand why we are still there (sometimes under the watch of a trusted therapist).
I've mentioned before that I have several people in my life right now that are facing addiction. Its caused me to pause as I speak to them, hug them and pray for them. I want to shake them and tell them to just stop, but its not that simple. I can't do anything for them - that's called co-dependency and it doesn't yield anything beneficial.
As I was talking to one of the people on that list recently, I asked what the issue was. I probed into the self-talk and what they saw in themselves. I was met with instant emotion. I had hit a nerve because I think whether its addiction or any other life obstacle, the biggest place we get stuck is how we see ourselves.
No amount of compliments can change the negative self-talk that is on repeat in our heads. It can change but that change doesn't just happen, its has to be met with an action-plan that takes time and effort.
You have to stop the lies that feed you and the only way to do that is to face them head on!
What are those sentences you hear over an over again?
Write them down.
You should have them memorized because you hear them ALL.THE.TIME!
What is the message those sentences are speaking to you? Are they true? Trust me when I say they aren't. You aren't worthless, you aren't a loser, you aren't crazy, you aren't a nothing, you aren't the sum of your actions or the sum of the actions of others.
YOU HAVE VALUE - because and only because GOD PUT IT THERE!
You need to feed your brain the truth.
Go check out websites like this one that tell you who you are in Christ. Right those down and read them to yourself and if you need more on this topic - read about my, "I AM" journal.
Start today but stopping the negative messages and replacing them with positive ones.
Recently I was feeling abandoned. I put on my essential oils (yep, I'm that lady) and I started searching for the antonyms to abandonment. Then I wrote down those in "I statements" - I am supported, I am accepted, I am adopted...I went to work to reverse the lies playing in my head. You can do the same, but know if you've been listening to the junk for awhile, it will take awhile for the positive messages to take hold and stick. So keep at it! You've got this.
Was there a friend that this made you think of? Share it with them. Everyone can use some encouragement!!!
My goal in life is to help people be the best versions of themselves, instead of being limited by the mental filters often adopted through circumstances, opinions of others and traumas faced. Why is this my goal for others? Because it started as a personal goal, and I realized I am not alone.
Those lies we get trained to believe and walk out keep us down and keep us from being the people God intended when he made us. Self-discovery at its core works best when we discover who God made us to be - usually a better version than we can even envision. Its easy to see the failures and push the play button on a loop message that makes us feel defeated.
I don't have to let my struggle with anger, self-doubt and anxiety keep me prisoner to self-prescribed limitations, and neither do you (insert your struggles here). It begins to look like a mountain I can't climb, but that is not the truth. God has already defeated the enemy and conquered it all on the cross (Romans 8:37). He created me with purpose and wants me to see myself the way he does.
Today, I was listening to Jihan Solomon Thomas in a video on essential oils. She was sharing her life and some of her motivational methods. She shared something she does to keep herself going and I want to share it with you!
I can take no credit for this. But I LOVE IT!!!!
Here we go.
1. Get a Journal - whatever you like: binders, composition book, leather, spiral-bound (you get the picture).
2. Divide it Up With Your Life Categories - finances, career, motherhood, fatherhood, emotions, hobbies etc. Each of us will have different categories because we are different (and that a beautiful thing!)
3. Write "I AM" statements - write what you want to be. Declare the life you want, and the goals that get lost in the self-doubt fog.
Examples among my categories, I would write:
I am debt free
I am mortgage free.
I am a responder and in control.
I am a loving mom full of grace and joy.
I am in control of my emotions and am able to speak from a place of calm.
I AM healthy and fit and am excited about what I see in the mirror.
These thoughts encourage me to fight the doubt I face when I feel overwhelmed by anxiety and subsequent anger. I can keep my goals ahead of me and not allow the delays to hold me back.
Do some research on how the brain works. You can create pathways that promote positivity or conversely continue to stay stuck in the junk that keeps you in a negative mental space.
I've seen lists like this before based on scripture like this one from Soul Shepherding. Things like the list below can help me to see myself the way God does:
I AM a new creation. (2 Corinthians 5:17)
I AM a child of God. (Galatians 3:26)
I AM forgiven. (Ephesians 1:7)
I AM chosen. (Ephesians 1:11)
Regardless of your inspiration or what is on your list, its time to write one!
4. Read your "I AM" statements - This is the gold. Writing it and envisioning it is an amazing step, but then you have to convince yourself they are possible - that happens with repetition. Read back your statements. Get out of your own way and make room for God to work and allow yourself to see what is truly there.
Let's get out of our rut, and stop believing the crap we've borrowed from the negative spinners along the way. What would your categories be? What would be on your list? What would your "I AM" statements be? I'd love to hear from you. Let's get this "I AM" train a moving!
