Connecting with Jesus in a New Way

Today while reading "Walking With God, God's Way" by William Wyatt, I read that our purpose is to be transformed into God's image. Because God doesn't need us, our steps in ministry are to walk alongside God in what he is already doing. Each step of life is about knowing God and becoming more like him. I also read that when we go through awful things (the author shared a story about a missionary rape victim) we get to share in just part of the suffering Christ experienced on the cross. It just got me thinking. The horrible experiences are a connection with the horrible suffering our Savior lived out on the cross. Its an offering of intimacy. Now I am not saying God zaps us with tradegy. Don't forget our God is good, but he allows it and hopes that through it we will find him and know him in a new way.

I have a story that captures some of this, it may be something I've already written about in a previous post. Many years ago, my mom was married to a man named Kurt. Kurt had a difficult childhood. He was exposed to pornography and child abuse from his dad. His mom would just sit back and watch while this would occur. Kurt drank. That is how he coped with tumultuous emotional agony he journeyed. When he drank, he hit my mom.

Our lives with Kurt included hiding, yelling, fighting, pushing, hitting, and inappropriate touching. However, Kurt found God through our life with him. Fast forward about 20 years. Kurt was sick, and dying. Eventually he died. My mom officiated the funeral. Weird, yes, but amazing at the same time. Kurt at one point almost killed my mom. As a girl I watched him try to stab her with a screwdriver after beating her mercilously. Years later she had to have back surgery as a result of the injuries she incurred in that marriage. She will forever be marked physical due to the marriage, but God has healed the heart. God replaced pain with forgiveness and empathy for a hurting man. As I walked through my emotions during all of this, God revealed to me that the worst years of my life, were the best years of Kurt's. I realized that those years showed him God, and I came to a place in my heart of gratitude and acceptance. It was worth all the pain if Kurt found God through it. Those feelings weren't there for any other reason except God put them there.

I felt the amazing glow of 2 Corinthians 4:7 in my own life:

"We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves." (NLT)

My suffering in those years (and a few other issues in my life) have allowed me to share with others and be empathetic to the life experience of those around me. May God bring you to this place as you have walked and continue to walk in a place of pain. May God be your rescue, your guiding light and your sacred companion. Let that light shine through your cracks, and may you find comfort in his understanding as he held all of that pain on the cross.