The Power of Us

"Trending" seems to be a word we hear a lot. To sell your product or even yourself, paying attention to what is trending and getting yourself that title seems to be the name of the game.  

Since the rise of the internet, the trends seem to change at rapid speed.  The culture has shifted from generations to micro-generations and with each new shift, old age gets younger and younger.  

I am blessed by two amazing gifts in my past.  When I was 7, my mom and I moved in with my grandpa and I spent four years of my childhood living with him and spending time with his sisters.  It wasn't your typical childhood, but its an experience that I more deeply cherish the older I get.  I was given an appreciation for people at a variety of ages and the traditions that can be passed down. 

The other gift was travel.  My parents divorced when I was two, but my dad's military career meant that summers where spent wherever the Army sent him.  The last two years of high school, I got the privilege of living with him in Germany.  Travel birthed in me an admiration for different.  I love seeing the many ways "normal" is played out among people groups and cultures around the globe.    

Sure I love to have my way, but I also have an ability to see how the contrast from others can add to my life and my perspective.  

Recently, I've had some conversations that touch on this subject.  We tend to think if something isn't now its not worthwhile.  That couldn't be further from the truth.  Each generation has a skill the ones that bookend it don't have.  The best value comes when we come together.  

Family is an excellent example.  We don't kick grandma out when she gets too old, grandma always has her place.  From birth to death, each age presents a gift that is best treasured when we are together.  

In the church I hear people who are older getting upset when change is mentioned.  They don't want to add the newer ideas to their rituals, but never changing is not a sustainable model. 

On the other end of the spectrum is younger people saying that church must fit a list of the latest offerings.  This perspective is just the same as their older counterparts.  Demanding church be your way fails to appreciate each other.  It fails to embrace different and to love your brother you first must see him.  Instead we must all ask, "how can we take old and new and create something wonderful?"

If we fail to see the gifts in those different from us than we miss the point of the gospel itself.  "For God so loved the world (not just a subsection of it) that he gave his one an only son..." (John 3:16)  

Getting the view of all of God's people expands our view of God.  I'm not saying we all agree or rubber stamp every choice but I am saying that your perspective should include a broader view than your own personal box.  

How can you apply this to your life today or decisions that have yet to be made?  Are you bucking an idea just because its different without further examination of its merits?  Are you dismissing someone in your life because they are too old or too young?  Let's quit using those labels and see the people without the descriptors.  See who they are.  

Happy Wednesday! 

  

Walk With Me

About the time school started, I began to get up and walk before the younger kids were awake.  I found a circuit around my neighborhood that took me about a half hour.  

I loved it at first because its 100 degrees outside and a 60 degree morning walk, was amazing to enjoy the cool air.  But I began to jump out of bed for the walk each morning for reasons beyond the air temperature.  

I purposefully set out on the walk with nothing (I mean I was obviously clothed).  I left the cell phone at home and took advantage of the walk to clear my head.  I had quiet, alone time to talk with God and think about my day.  

We need more time to talk to God, to think and just be.  

It has been amazing.  I am such a people person, but surprisingly, I am loving my solo time, or maybe more accurately, my time with God.  

The thing is, I didn't know I needed it until I started doing it.  I did know I needed exercise and don't worry, I know I need more than a 30 minute walk to shed the current unwanted pounds, but the many ways this one morning ritual has helped me is a bit unbelievable.  

If you've read my blog, you know the point in all of this isn't just me.  So now its your turn.  When I titled this post, "Walk with Me," I didn't mean get out there and walk the neighborhood beside me, instead, I'm challenging you to do something like my morning walk, for you.  

I really envy the girls that seem to have self-care down to a science, but that has never been me.  Taking care of myself is something I run right by in the efforts to complete my daily checklists.  I am learning that by neglecting myself, I'm setting myself up for failure in the marathon of life. 

Are you someone like me that tends to neglect some area of self-care?  Rest? Exercise? Free thought time? Pedicure? Prayer and Bible Study? I don't know what it is for you, but if I were a betting woman, I'd put money on the fact that there is something you need to do to help yourself.  

So here's my question: 

Will you walk with me?  

Comment below or message me and share how you would answer this question.  I want to know what you need to add to your life.  

Happy Wednesday! 

Taking a Break

Hey folks, I have been juggling a lot lately.  The changes in my jobs are starting to normalize, but the next week or so in transition is going to need my attention.  I will be back (and I should have posted this last week), but the almost done posts I've been working on just need a bit more work, so I will get them to you soon.  Thanks for reading my posts! It means a lot!!! - Carrie 

Thank You!

Last night I had a conversation with a new colleague and woke up this morning with a conversation hangover.  I realized I word vomited on this new person in my life and was regretting the first impression I know I left. 

 Its not a one time occurrence either.  

I'm pretty sure I've had either a conversation hangover, or as Brene Brown puts its a vulnerability hangover on a reoccurring basis my entire life.  

I know I talk a lot.  Its not something I'm unaware of.  I have a ton of words.  When there is a lot in my head, it can often come out at once and be overwhelming to my message receiver.  In a text world I'm a "let's talk" girl.  I have too many words for a text unless I'm on my MacBook and can message you on a keyboard.  

My poor quiet husband must at times wish he were deaf, but then that wouldn't work either because I know sign language.  I covered all my talking ability options! Its who I am.  Its not the only aspect, but its definitely a defining trait.  

As I thought through all of this,  I realized, I have a lot of people who have to sort all my words on a regular basis and still love me!  You send a one line text, I send a paragraph.  You take 10 minutes to share your day, I take an hour and a half.  You are a saint! 

So this is an official, "Thank You!"  

Most of this is me being humorously self-deprecating but in all sincerity, I'm grateful for those who process all my words and love me in spite or maybe because of it!  

Who do you need to thank for adoring you in the midst of your weak points?  Do you even know what it is you do that annoys people?  Being self-aware is both a gift and a curse, but I think its imperative for a good life.  

You can't go anyway or move forward or even embrace who you are without it.  God made you with purpose and yet you are and ever will be, human.  Good, bad, ugly all wrapped up in one human.  Time to embrace and acknowledge so you can figure out what needs to change and what needs to stay.  Its a process, but we need to be in it! Happy Wednesday! 

Heartless

Last week, I sat in a hospital room with a family I've known for years.  The mother lay in the hospital bed in her last days, actually hours, as she died two hours after I went home that night. 

 Two weeks ago, I was on vacation and got word that a missionary friend got sick and took a sudden turn for the worse and died without notice it was coming.  

Three weeks ago as I left for vacation I was missing the funeral for a friend who was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and died two months later.

If you ask me, that's a lot of death to cross my path in one month.  I am an empath, which means I feel things.  I love and hate that fact about me.  It allows me to reach out to people and be a comfort in hard times, it allows me to see both sides of issues and find common ground, but it also can overwhelm me.

 I in no way ever want to make someone else's pain about me and take attention away from their grieving, but I still feel the suffering.  The reality is, as one who works in pastoral care for a church, my business is to be there.  I love to be there for others. I want it no other way, but as I sat and looked at a woman I had conversations with, and shared life with, I realized, I need to be careful.

I can't let the grief around me swallow me whole and leave me in depression city, but on the flip side I also can't let it turn me into someone heartless.  It could be easy to flip the switch and just stop feeling, but that would help no one.

I love this song by Adrien Reju! I heard it on a Hallmark movie, searched and found the song and artist.  I learned to play it on my guitar and sung it for a voice recital several years ago.  I think her words remind us of the importance of finding that balance in life between letting the turmoil around us take us down or alternatively, harden us.

Instead I have to find the balance. It takes work.  For me the relationship I have with Jesus and time in scripture help me.  My relationships with others is also a crucial component to my mental health and lastly, all things funny, help me keep my balance.  I have to be encouraged, loved on and laugh.

Have you ever thought about the extremes you are prone to?  What helps you live in balance?  What do you need to be careful of?  Are you paying attention to those things or just ignoring them and then getting discouraged when life seems to crash and burn?  Maybe its time to find what that looks like for you.  I know finding it for me, is crucial in life! Happy Wednesday! 

Seeing God

I have a wonderful relationship with God and have given my life to serving him, but trust has been an issue for me since I was little.  Facing divorce, disease and an abusive step parent at an early age, created this fear.  Even though I see the hand of God through it all and even have gratitude for some of the worst moments because of what they birthed, its still a knee jerk reaction - fear.  Bad things happen in this world.  John 16:33 tells us that. 

 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

As I navigate real life, I find I have to remember that I have access to peace. 

We just got back from almost two weeks in Texas.  It was family time, it was fun, it was exhausting.  We landed in LAX right in the peak of evening rush hour.  We got in our car and got the 405 ready for the long drive home, because we were ready to go home.  As we merged into traffic, our car check engine light came on and then it started to rev loudly and wouldn't shift into the upper gears.  We managed to get off an exit pretty quickly in Culver City off Sepulveda.  We pulled into a parking lot and my husband tried a few things to get the car working.  His attempts didn't work.  

I grabbed his hand as he got back into the car and we prayed.  I asked God for help because my internal panic mode was kicking into gear much better than the car transmission. 

I then searched for autobody shops near us.  The closest one was Rony's.  I dialed and a man answered, it was Rony.  I asked when he closed.  He told me 5 o'clock (an hour before this call), but he was still there, what did I need?  I told him what happened and where we were and he told us to come on over.  Rony checked out the car and promised to make this a priority so we could get home.  He recommended some hotels and told us when he opened in the morning.  He would start working tonight on what the issue could be based on the reading he got from the computer.  

We managed to take our car down the couple blocks to our hotel.  In the morning when my husband took the car down, Rony gave us one of his own to drive back to the hotel.  He promised to have an answer by check out so we would know what our next steps would be.  

The two options were pricey and it looked like a rental car was in our future while the car got fixed.  I prayed again and in the midst of my questions and fear, I also found that peace.  Why? Because as I looked online, Rony's had amazing reviews.  He was honest, decent prices and quality work.  I didn't even look at that before pulling into his lot.  He was close, he was open, we were desperate.  Yet, God led us to this awesome place.  God had his hand on us through the hardship and I saw it.  I decided to thank him and recognize him for it.  I decided to trust.  

The option was in, $1200 and we would have to drive home in a rental car and come back for the car later.  Then ten minutes later came another call and a question about the battery.  Turns out, our newish battery didn't hold a charge while parked for two weeks and it was talking to the computer correctly.  Resetting the code could work.  Rony tried it,  he tested it and all seemed good.  He seemed reticent to let us leave since, he wouldn't be able to do anything if it didn't work, but he was pretty sure the car was good.  He was right.  We went home that day in our car and because it wasn't rush hour, we did it under three hours! The bill was under $200 instead of $1200.  

God is always there, even if the bill had been $1200, but seeing that God was caring for us and directing us, allowed me to understand the peace he gives us.  

I could have focused on the fact that our car broke down in the first place and why couldn't God just let me get home Tuesday night, but instead I chose to see his provisions in the midst of life.  

I hear people misquote I Corinthians 10:13 all the time.  They say, "God won't give you more than you can bear," but that is not what that passage is saying.  Its talking about temptation not hardship.  John 16:33 is a much better passage to hold onto.  This world can suck but God is God in the end and he is with us in the middle of the suck.  

You can trust him and so can I.  Let's focus on that.  How have you seen God in the midst of real life?  Have you been paying attention?  Look for the clues that his there.  I promise you won't be disappointed! 

P.S. If you live near Culver City - go to Rony's! He's a good guy and a mechanic that won't take advantage! 

Short-sighted

I went into work last week to hear that the night before a local girl had died in a tragic car accident.  Due to a suspicious tweet posted earlier that night, there was question as to whether it was an accident or intentional.   A few minutes later, a girl in my youth group walked in the door with tears in her eyes.  She knew the girl who had died and it was hitting her hard.  It wasn't a best friend, but a person she looked up to.  She noted that she had just seen the girl from the accident a few days ago and the reality of the finality of life, hit hard.  

I remember being her age and getting the news that a friend in Ohio had been in a bicycling accident and died.  I had just moved to Germany but had seen the friend just before leaving.  I wasn't able to attend the service and I was grieving for my friend from a distance.  

We all have suffered loss.  Some of it we see coming and other times we are completely taken off guard.

As I sat next to the my youth group girl, I found myself in a sea of deep thoughts.  I am a Christian.  That means that I believe in a God who created us to be in a relationship, and when something got in the way, He made a way for us to be restored to him - all because the center of Christianity is love!  

The restoration process means there is more than this world we live in.  When we die we go to a place that has been prepared for us.  That life is eternal which is a drastic contrast to our finite life on earth.   Thinking about this girl, I am reminded there is more than just this world.  

Francis Chan compares it by taking a white rope and painting a quarter inch red.  He says life is the red and the rope is eternity.  We should live for the rope instead of the red end. 

 Living with that perspective should make us more loving people because we aren't as concerned with whether someone wrongs us or whether or not we got what we'd aimed for in a certain encounter.  Instead we are focused on the things that matter beyond this life.  The last thing we want is to become short-sighted and miss the whole reason we are here. 

I Corinthians 13:13 says, "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."  It doesn't say our wealth will last.  You can't take your stuff with you when you die. Its deeper parts of ourselves and the way we lived that last.  Being people who love others, who have faith against the odds, and hope in the midst of doubt, those are the things that last.  

My faith in God isn't blind faith.  

The faith we are asked to have as Christians is the same faith I have every day that my house won't collapse on me when I walk inside.  The building was tested and proved sound, so now I live with faith because of the evidence.  The same is true for my faith.  There is evidence in history and archaeology that prove the people in the Bible were real.  There is evidence that Jesus was in fact, who he said he was. 

I can look beyond the 90ish years I have on earth (I mean I have no idea how long I will live) and see the eternal perspective.  I can share that hope, love and faith with others and help encourage them in life.  

Its a reminder to look beyond what is right in front of us and change our perspective.  Get the big picture when we need it to help us and help us encourage others too.