Showing posts with label life seasons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life seasons. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Seasons

Life in America is a rat race.  We all seem to be running for that proverbial carrot, except, it begs the question - is that really worth all the stress? I feel very lucky. As a girl, I traveled a lot around the United States and the world.  The benefit of moving and traveling is that, I got to see, early on, that my way wasn’t the only way.

Much of the world understands something that many Americans miss.  They know what they are working for.  Life is more than a job and to enjoy life means investing in you and the relationships in your life.

When I was living in Germany, my step mom got 6 weeks vacation.  That was not after years of service - that was to start!  Rest and family time was important and valued as a culture. During my semester abroad in London, I worked for a PR company.   I was required to be gone for a full hour for lunch and on more than one occasion I was asked to stop working so fast.  The pace was something I’d never experienced at a job in the US.  Europeans know there is more to life than just "geterdone." They work to live not live to work.  They understand that a well rested human produces more because they have more to give.



Recently,  I was communicating with a friend via Facebook comments.  She had a baby a few months ago.  She, like me, is a recovering overachiever, and was struggling with the lack of managing her to-do list.  When a baby comes into your life, that to-do list needs to go away.  Babies need our time and attention and the bar of what we can accomplish needs to drop considerably.  I reminded her about this season and the expectation adjustment that needs to take place.

I also reminded her of the Israelites in the desert.  After Moses leads the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt, they spend 40 years wandering in the desert (it wasn't supposed to be that long, but they had a bad moment that needed time allow them to move on). So the question is: was their live less valuable because they wandered in the desert 40 years? No! Our value is not found in what we can accomplish and yet, I know I’ve unwittingly believed that lie at times (who am I kidding, I believe it all the time).

This is a hard reminder because many of us, work to gain value.  We feel like we are only amazing when we are slaying our day, but truthfully, our value is constant and not dependent on what we do.  People are valuable, period.

We need to understand that there are times in life when we need to change the expectations.  There is value in taking it slow and enjoying life.  There is value in giving people the time and attention they need. There is value in resting so your body can heal or stay well.  There is value in taking moments of quiet mediation so your brain can regroup.  We also need to have patience with those who have lost their way.  Yes, the recovering drug addict may have regrets from years they let drugs control their life, but they are still valuable, which is why they fight to overcome the addiction.

Take some time to understand your season.  The opposite truth is also worth looking at.  Maybe your kids are grown and you have time and freedom you didn't have and now you need to add a bit to your life plate.  Where are you in life?  What season?  Are you taking that into consideration as you organize your days, weeks and months?  We need to make the moments count, but that won't look the same for all of us.  What does that look like for you?

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

What Do You See?


This week I got back from a week in Arizona.  My friend and I went on a road trip for our 40th! I forgot how much I loved road trips.



As a kid, I did several with my dad and stepmom.  Military life means moving and it also means being in new, unexplored areas.  Road trips are a great way to experience different cultures see the beauty around us.  Let me say, this trip let me meet people from around the world as well as see some amazing sights! I loved having planned parts of our journey and spontaneous moments that let the road take us on a beckoning adventure.






I also had a lot of time to think, particularly about seasons.  I don't mean fall, spring, winter, summer, but instead life seasons.

I commented to my friend as we started our journey that I didn't take full advantage of the freedom I had before husband and kids.  I just didn't realize how remarkable the freedom to make decisions and be spontaneous really was when I was in my early twenties. I had a lot of fun adventures, so I don't feel I wasted that time, but I just didn't appreciate it to the fullest.

Far too often we set our focus on what we don't have, not on what we have.  In those years, I was desiring a husband and family and the uncertainty of that reality felt daunting and often distracted me from the life before me.  In contrast its easy now to see what I had then as I live life with my family.  I miss my ability to think most days and have freedom to just be, but truthfully I am sure one day I would trade my quiet thoughtfulness for the noise of my children.  Again, its easy to get caught up in what's missing.

Recognizing the value of your current season allows you to be present in life.  As my grandma Pat often said, "You can do it all, just not at the same time."  Living in the now is the best way to get all of the blessing out of life.  Now, I love the connection I share with those who live in my home.  I love seeing the joy of life through the eyes of my kids in places that have become everyday for me.  I love hearing my kids giggle and seeing them just be kids.  I love being a mom! Sure I get overwhelmed or frustrated when I'm being disobeyed, and its easy to desire the freedom that was before they were.  If I focus on what I don't have now, I will miss out on my motherhood that I can never get back.  I can also miss out on the friendship with my husband and the way we co-parent our children.

Having a vacation with my friend was an amazing blessing and break from the norm and it allowed me to remember parts of myself that have been dormant.  It also helped me to feel appreciative for my current life season.  Tomorrow it will no longer be an option, so I best enjoy today to the fullest.

What is your reality?

Are you looking at what's missing or what is there?

There are obviously things we can't control.  Sure, you see your friends with jobs able to spend more on stuff for themselves, but they miss out on the classroom time you have.  Sure, single parenthood is a challenge but maybe you get more time to yourself or alone time with your kids.  I'm not saying ignore the negatives in life and just plaster a Pollyanna face on throughout the day to day, but embrace the beauty of whatever your life is TODAY.  Tomorrow will come soon enough and moving forward is the only direction we can truly go, so if we disengage from today, we will lose it forever!

Take some time to think about what you have now?  How can you appreciate it more than you currently do?  Happy contemplating!