A woman in your church finds out her dad is dying of cancer, she needs to go back and forth between her family and her dad and you know she needs help. Trouble is, you aren't sure what to do.
Its a friend's birthday and you don't want to just get a gift card, but you aren't sure what to get and its too late to get clues without being super obvious. What do you do?
A co-worker got dumped and its having a rough morning. You would love to show up with a treat, but you aren't sure their go-to comfort food or drink and you feel it will ruin the surprise to ask. So how do you get her something without being awkward and asking?
I have an answer. Its called notes. Your phone contact list has a note category. Its the perfect place to keep track of those things the people in your life love. Maybe you get a favorites list off Pinterest and give it to all your friends then add it to their contact so you have it when you need it. Or maybe you just ask questions and take notes. Either way, doing this will make you not only a great gift giver but a considerate person.
The key is knowing ahead of time.
So maybe you find out what you can do to help before they need it. Sure you can always take someone a meal going through a hard time, but sometimes you want to do something different and in the age of food allergies, it can be a challenge sometimes to take a meal. So finding out what you can do to lighten the load is important.
This past month I got two stand out gifts. One had me a hot mess on Instagram Live. I didn't win the lottery or anything and the gift wasn't even purchased. My mom sent me something I wanted and didn't even know it because she was listening to a conversation of me just sharing a childhood memory that I tried to recreate, even though I didn't have the bowl I had as a kid. She sent me the bowl and I melted into the floor and felt like the most loved person on the planet.
The day after Christmas a friend and I went out shopping for the clearance deals. I talked with her about a vintage Santa mug I wanted but realized it too late and everywhere is sold out. Two weeks later she showed up to church with a gift bag and guess what was in it. A Santa mug. So sweet.
One of the easiest things to find out is what someone's Starbucks drink or go-to drink is. I was headed to a friend's house and told her I was stopping at Starbucks on the way. I not only got her a drink, but made note in my contacts of her order so that a few months after that, she was having a bad day, I could show up with a drink. It made her day.
A few years ago I got my sister and her husband's favorite treats via email and saved it for future reference so I can bless them from time to time with what they love. Life is busy and crazy but being a thoughtful person is important and the best way to be there is to listen, ask questions and take notes!
Another friend just lost her sister. We were talking and she mentioned the day of the funeral. I wasn't able to go, but made note in my calendar so I could text her that morning and let her know I was thinking about her.
Little things make a big difference and if you start doing this, it won't take big effort.
We got this!!!
Often after Thanksgiving we start the jokes about adjusting our belt buckles because we are so full from our glutinous meal. Well here it is the middle of the week after Thanksgiving and I feel full after the glutinous, materialistic shopping spree.
Do you ever wonder if our priorities are a mess?! I am right now the person standing in the glass house throwing stones, my friend, because over the past (almost) week, I dropped some serious coin on my crazy long Christmas list.
I know there are good things involved, giving is always good and buying gifts for others isn't so focused on me (though I did purchase a few small things for myself along the way), but the push to buy-buy-buy, and the over abundance of ads and emails of discounts (and yes, I added to this with my oil sales) can begin to feel overwhelming.
The question would be, just because its the norm and what we all do, does it mean its okay? Because have you heard of the Colosseum in Rome? Looking back at history, you wonder, "what were they thinking?" But it was the norm so I'm sure few questioned it.
We have people everywhere starving and we are fighting over sales and ravenously putting things in our virtual and literal carts at feverish speed to grab the deal so we can give the gifts to all and keep the commercial giants in business. We've sacrificed our Thanksgiving holiday for extra time to get more stuff and you just have to ask, if I took a step back, would this look ridiculous? I think so.
My kids have enough. It doesn't mean they don't want more and it doesn't mean that I don't love giving them what they want because it gives me joy, but really I worry that all I am doing is feeding the materialistic monster.
Again, let me stay, I'm standing here in my glass house, throwing rocks, but I guess I'm pausing to look at the rock and question, "why I'm standing in this glass house?" I'm not gonna lie, I love Black Friday. I hate that stores open on Thanksgiving, but I was there this year and years past, so if I say anything against it, I'm hypocrite party of one, over here.
We aren't changing the status quo tomorrow or even next Christmas, but maybe we have a discussion about this within our families and discuss ways we can change the climate of culture a bit? What step can we take? Sure we have Give Back Tuesday, but doesn't that just seem like a way to sound like the pre-Black Friday, Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, Cyber Monday incessant deals weren't terrible. Its like, "Hey, we have Give Back Tuesday, so we aren't that bad!"
What if we sat down with our kids in September and said something like:
This is our Christmas budget this year, how much should we each sacrifice to give to something that matters to us? Who can we help? What is important to this family?
What giving traditions should we bake into the season, not just one day of, "whoops, I spent too much here's some money to appease my guilt!" I mean really give throughout the season.
I'm not here with some tips, just asking the question so you can have the discussion. Thanksgiving meals are still beyond our ability to eat them and yet we still keep making them, but I know some that had a Keto Thanksgiving this year, and tailored their dinner table to their diet, so considering the cost of the calories does come into play. Let's take this step with Christmas gifts!
The real thing at stake is your soul. I find myself having to take a step back and examine the real meaning of the celebration. Hint:Its not to see how many presents I can stuff under the tree to show off my deal conquest.
What do you think?
