What Happens In the End

Earlier this month, I was writing grad cards for those students who were graduating and even though I try to make each card I write unique and personal for that person, let's face it, the bulk of what I can say is the same..."praying for what God has ahead," "excited to see what God will do in your life," "I know there is so much you can accomplish..."

While writing a card I realized, as I stand in a place of ministry where I have seen the lives people grow into, that just because I see the potential, doesn't mean it will happen.

I can think of former students who I've seen blossom into a spiritual and professional leader.  I've seen people become some of the most amazing spouses and parents, but I've also seen the other side of the spectrum.

Some students in all appearances, threw their life away, not because they made a mistake or bad choice, but some have chosen to just quit on the life that is before them and allow their mistakes to be their life instead of learning from them.

Each of us have potential.  God created us to all be amazing in our own way, and a lot influences who we become, but at the end of the day, that final decision is up to us.  It may not feel like a choice and yet, it truly is that simple.  We can't control the circumstances we face, but we can control how we let it shape us.

The best example I have of this is my grandma and her sister.  They are both gone now, but in their life, they both experienced the same hardships for the most part, but their attitude toward life was in stark contrast.  My great aunt was the quintessential Pollyana.  Life was sunshine and rainbows no matter what day it was.  She wasn't overly optomistic, but sincere in her love of life and others.  She made the decision to filter life through a glass half full perspective.  She was fun to be around!  My grandma was an amazing women, but unfortunately she lived with a pessimistic, glass half empty filter that often resembled Eeyore.  She was my grandma so I loved being around her, but the contrast between her and her sister, was definitely notable.

I have to remind myself often that I get to tell my story and decide how to tell it.  I can look at the negatives or see the beauty in the midst of the hard times.  My family has been hit pretty hard lately, yet my son and I were just watching a video about the slums in India and I realized my worse day is better than many peoples' reality.

Its never too late to change.  Its never too late to turn the tide of your life.  Maybe today is the day for you, or maybe you have a friend you need to share this with so that she can make the critical changes she needs to make.

We are all in this life together.  Our narrative may be different but our humanity is the same.  Let's help each other step up to the life we were created to live.  You've got this!! Keeping this basic reality check in mind can fuel the exact change you were looking for! This week has been crazy for me at work so this is my first time in years that I didn't get a blog post out on a Wednesday, so Happy Friday!  God bless you all!!!

Facing The Suck

Tonight, I watched the documentary on Fred Rogers, "Won't You Be My Neighbor?" I watched it with a mixed group of teens and residents of a local Senior Living facility.  Yes, that mixed group is an odd couple, but its is one that has bonded over the past few years as we've hung out quite a bit.  Its fun to see opposites generations have fun together, but that is a different topic for a different post.

I finished the movie inspired as I truly feel it is my movie mothership! I was most inspired by Mr. Roger's life work as a response to the areas of hurt in his own childhood.  This is a goal I've attempted to live out as well.  Each of us face challenges in life and it was remarkable to see how those challenges shaped this man's work.

While watching the documentary the title to this blog post, "Facing The Suck," just came at me with an epiphany moment.

Its the suckiest parts of life that often birth the sweetest treasures in life.  Mr. Rogers didn't set out to become famous, he merely understood a need through his own experience and that experienced birth empathy that compelled him to meet a need in children pervasive over the generations.

When I see this in my own life, I see examples of the suck becoming the sweet like in my lack of finances as a child that lead to an amazing ability to problem solve and create something wonderful out of whatever is before me.  I learned to use what I had through those years of lean.  Those moments I was mocked, bullied and at times even tortured, grew an empathy for others and an ability to spot those alienated.

The thing is if we ignore or run from those moments or seasons of suck we miss out on the sweet flip side that can find us later in life.  Its in facing the suck that blessing is found.  Living from your place of suck helps you to embrace reality while not settling for the mess.

Look at the non-profit M.A.D.D. for example.  You know you started it? Moms who lost their babies to drunk drivers.  They could have let that pain destroy them (and I'm sure it did in the beginning), but instead of remaining paralyzed by the pain, it motivated them to stand in the gap for others and do something about the problem of drunk driving.  It doesn't mean the pain goes away.  Grieving a life or pain from childhood isn't wrong, in fact its necessary.  I'm not sure pain from loss ever goes away, but we can choose to let it make us better or bitter.

Local friends lost a child to a blood disease and every year at her birthday, they celebrate by asking folks to donate blood.  That is an excellent example of facing the suck.

Its hard to think the crap storm we are in could be a gold mine but it definitely can be! Fertilizer does grow rich, nutritious produce, after all!  Life crap grows character, passion and purpose.

Our world changes so quickly and yet human emotions pretty much stay the same.  Life is hard and each of us have a choice to make.  We can let life take us down or grow from the our place of suck.

Again, let me state that this is not saying avoid painful emotion and skip grieving because that is a part of the process. We must own our emotions and walk that out, but there comes a time when we can become stuck in a bad place or choose to change the world through our own experiences.

Mr. Rogers is an amazing example and if you haven't see the documentary about him, I highly recommend it.  I also recommend you ask yourself what your own past junk has birthed in you.  Are you following your passions and maximizing your positive impact in the world?  The thing is the darker the world becomes, the further your light can reach.  Now is the time to make a difference! Happy Wednesday!!!

Spiritual Life - Tethered?

Tether in its simplest definition means being connected to something else that restricts movement. When you use a rope to tether a dog to a tree, it keeps the dog in an area around that tree that is restricted by the rope’s distance.

There are many things we are tethered to in life, whether we recognize it or not. Some are pleasant experiences, others are not. I am tethered to Kevin Guy in marriage; I am tethered to Verizon Wireless in my phone plan with a contract. I am tethered to a job, a house, a car, bills, kids and the list goes on. Tether is a connection but a connection that can be restrictive, dependent upon to what you are connected. What are your connections?

If you are tethered to something that adds to your life then the tether really isn’t a bad thing, in fact, it probably keeps you from bad things, but if you are tethered to the wrong thing, it can be an awful, limiting and possibly even dangerous experience. It’s important to know what you are connected to and pay attention to how we get tethered. You may think of tethered in the scope of marriage or employment, but it goes beyond that. When you hang out with people or get into a book series or tv show you are being tethered through their beliefs. What you believe isn’t just seen in what you would say in a conversation with someone, but in how you live your life. If you believe someone is a bad influence you would show that by choosing to stay away from that person.

Our connections with the world around us can limit us in our relationship with God and that can be a dangerous to our spirit. We often don’t realize this reality until it’s too late. We find ourselves believing things that aren’t Biblical and inevitably putting distance between us and God. Take some time to mimic the words of David and ask God to reveal to you where you have strayed and lead you back to him. (Psalm 139:23)