Full Circle

As a girl, I never really felt like I had a place.  I was loved, but with my parents divorced, each creating new families, made it hard for me to feel like I had my own family.  

When I married Kevin, I distinctly remember a family trip to Disneyland where I realized, I had married into the same position I had growing up.  I loved my husband and step daughters, but they were a family before I came a long and I wasn't really sure where I fit.  

Obviously, we powered through the growing pains of our new family, but its been remarkable how adding our two littles has given me what I never had before.  Sure I have a definite place as mom, but the true blessing has been has its restored the heart of that little girl in me.  Raising them with Kevin and being a family has done a remarkable job of healing the wounds of my childhood.  Watching my kids live the benefits of mom and dad in the same house, has given me what I never got.  

Isn't God amazing?! All those years, God was walking with me through the hard times even if I didn't see him and to show his love for me in unique ways because the truth is, I always had a place in his family.  I was always wanted and always part of something beyond myself, even if I couldn't see it.  God saw it and God saw me. 

We live in a world that is cruel at times and we encounter people that don't always use kindness as their compass, but God is there and his time table isn't the same as ours, but not seeing it, isn't the same as it not happening.  

As we look at Turkey Day approaching and we make our thankful list, let's look at the ways God has been good to us, not only in this year but in our life.  

Can you think of some way you felt you were forgotten that later you saw the story come full circle?  

God loves you and is always working in your life.  Its not about what makes sense in the moment, but when we know we can trust our Creator and Savior, we can trust that he is there even when life is not what we hoped it was.  

Besides the story above, I can't tell you how many times God showed me was listening and cared.  

I had a major crush on this guy in high school and we went out once or twice, but it just never came together.   We rediscovered each other in college and ended up dating for a couple years.  He wasn't the one, but while we were dating, I found an old high school journal where I asked God to let me date him.  There was more to it than that, but I thought, "wow, God saw me."  

In high school while living in Germany, we went to Israel and visited the Holocaust Museum.  They have a Garden of Remembrance where trees are planted in memory of those non-Jewish people who risked their lives to save Jews during the Holocaust.  A tree is planted once that person dies.  When I was there, Corrie Ten Boom had just passed away.  I loved her and her story and wanted so desperately to see her tree.  It was time to go and I still had not found her tree.  I told God just how much I wanted to see it and asked if he would let me find the tree. Another woman in our tour and I were talking and as we talked I discovered we'd gotten lost and had been separated from the group.  As we turned to head back the way we had come, I looked down and guess what I saw?  You guessed it - Corrie Ten Boom's tree.  That wasn't a life altering request but it mattered to God, because I matter to God!  Being seen and valued is one of the greatest gifts we can ask for. 

Isn't that worth being grateful for?  Have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone! - Carrie  

Are You Really Thankful?

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and let's all face it, between the controversy over its origin, the full-force Christmas décor already surrounding us, and the replacement of Black Friday with Thanksgiving Day shopping, you have to ask if its still a holiday, or if its just an excuse to indulge in gluttony? 

Thanksgiving shouldn't just be an annual holiday that has been nearly forgotten. Instead, it should be a state of mind. We have a lot to be grateful for!  Unfortunately, most Americans (you know like 99% of us) get distracted by our wish lists and to-do lists and never take the time to recognize our obnoxious abundance.

A few weeks ago we were blessed to have a special guest visit our church.  Stanley Gitari came from Kenya to let us know what his ministry is doing with the children in his village.  While he is a native to Maua, Kenya, he went to college in the US and has experienced our culture.  He can attest to the statistic that if you live in America, you are in the top 10% of the world.  Our homeless can go to a shelter and take a shower that will assuredly be pumping out clean water and most likely its also hot.   I would never want to live what our homeless do, but to think that they are living higher than 90% of the world is astonishing.

The things we take for granted, are things that are luxuries for so many other!  That is why I love this video by a church in Charlotte, because it allows us to see even what we have at the most basic level, is a gift! 

Two weekends ago I was in Monterey, at the Organic Outreach Conference.  This amazing event equips Christian leaders with tools to help love the world around us because God is love!  As I wrote down copious notes at the conference, I was more than inspired! There was one thing that hit me between the eyes as I listened to the various speakers and that was the statistics surrounding the state of the American church today. 

You see all Christians are called to share the love of God with the world (Matthew 28:18-20) and statistics show that a majority of Christians strongly agree (55%) with the fact that we all have a personal responsibility to share our faith, and 43% of people said they felt comfortable doing so, yet in contrast, 61% of those same people said they haven't shared Jesus with anyone in the last six months.  Why?  Why aren't we sharing the love of Jesus?  The reality is we just don't care. 

We have lost our compassion for the world around us.  Another study quoted showed that while 21% of Christians claim to pray to win the lottery only 20% said they prayed for friends of other faiths or no-faiths.  Really? I'd say we've lost some perspective.  According to one speaker, Adam T Barr, Christianity is the fastest growing religion in the world, just not in America.  We are fat, dumb and happy and quite frankly, its unacceptable. 

Consumerism is our God and we will continue to bow at the alter of our own needs as a culture.  So what is the solution? I'm not suggesting you sell all you have and animate impoverished lives to understand the plight of the world.  We live the latte life and I don't see that changing anytime soon. 

Gratitude.  Gratitude is the answer.  As a Christian, I have received the greatest gift.  I believe that I need Jesus and I believe he is God.  I accepted his free gift that gives grace to all I've done wrong.  The sacrifice of his life, as the act of love needed to forgive all I've done, is the greatest gift.  It means that my life is more than the 90 years I live on earth.  I will spend eternity with him and I must live for that and not the few years in comparison, I have on this planet.  I know God has the best planned for me (Jeremiah 29:11) and while I can't always see it, I can be grateful in that knowledge because I have no idea what God has planned to do with even the worst of circumstances, but I know he won't let it go to waste.  My part is to be grateful. 

As we say goodbye to loved ones, I am grateful for the years I had.
As I suffer with sickness, I am grateful for my normal health. 
As I turn on lights in my house, I am grateful that I have electricity. 
As I take a shower or open a bottle of water, I am grateful for clean water or hot water. 
As I put on my shoes, I am grateful to have them.
As I hug my husband, I am grateful for the force he is in my life, both to encourage me and challenge me to be a better woman. 

This list goes on, and on and on. 

I am grateful for my years of infertility because of the compassion its given me for women who face that plight. 
I am grateful for a mom who would go hungry so my sister and I could eat because I was given the best example of how to mother my kids - sacrificially. 
I am grateful for the moments that sucked and had me raising a white flag because they strengthened me. 

This list goes on and on and on. 

Don't just let gratitude reside in a prescribed day of the year (or even month) but sew it into your life.  Make it a response you have to whatever comes your way.  Let it transform you so that you have compassion for those around you and love them like it's your job...because - it is!!!! 

Happy Thanksgiving!  Today and every day after...

My Momtastrophy Of A Morning

This morning I lost it.  I mean ugly tears cascading down my face for issues of little consequence, yet in those moments my world was over.  Okay, so my world wasn’t over, but my reaction to issue ratio would warrant that sentence.   It was just a normal day that I turned into my very own momtastrophy.  Thanksgiving is this week and my son’s school is in session for the first two days of the week.  Today, Monday, was a special class treat.  They would have a Thanksgiving Feast and it was going to be epic.  Today they would dress like pilgrims to use their pilgrim hat and tomorrow is Indian day.  Kids were asked if possible to wear black pants and a black or white top.  Simple.  

I turned simple into stressful.  The outfit I had picked, turned out to have a ton of flaws.  The shirt needed to be ironed (I don’t iron, unless absolutely necessary), his jacket had a rip in the sleeve, both shirt and jacket were looking too small and his pants were flooding him as they were too big.  I looked through his closet finding patterns and grays, but no other clothes that fit exact specifications.  Meanwhile, Katie is trying to wrangle LeighAshley who is running all over the house refusing to cooperate with any request given to her.  We were running out of time and were trying to get out to make it to the bus stop in time.  

I tried to steam the shirt with no luck, then quickly stitched the whole in the jacket, but managed to sew the lining in such a way that made it hard to put on so I had to pull out the stitches and go again.  The clock was ticking.  I glanced at the clock and the bus stop option was out.  We now had to race to get to school on time.  I managed to get dressed enough to get out of the house but was trying to get all the school necessities together and do Caleb’s hair.  There was yelling from the other room as Katie was exasperated by LeighAshley and at times my voice joined the “let’s just get out of here” choir.  It was spiraling out of control fast.  I had lost it.  We got in the car and as we drove down the road I heard my little girl ask, “Mommy, ok?” She was responding to my tears.  “Yes, Mommy is ok.”  I told my boy he looked handsome and gave him kisses telling him I’d be there for the fun in a few hours.  As he jumped from the car, I just began to cry even more.  LeighAshley and I repeated our early dialogue many times between the school and home.  I was a wreck and honestly I didn’t know why. 

Fast-forward two hours and I rolled into the school ready to join my son.  I look around at kids in an array of outfits, most of which weren’t the strict guidelines that had taken over in my head.  Lots of jeans with black shirts, oatmeal colored sweaters, one even in a neon sweatsuit and I realized, I had lost my ever loving mind!!! Why? Why had I made something so simple and unimportant the King of my morning.  How had I let this consume me to the level of receiving a First Class trip on the crazy train?  

The fun started with cookie decorating then onto games and crafts.  My son sat working on his turkey craft and sang a song about majoring in the minors and my heart sank inside my chest.  I looked at him and said, “Sweetie, that is what mom did this morning, can you forgive me?”  He was quick to hug me and was definitely fine with moving on.  We had a great time, and I have a sweet memory with my son, his class, teachers and other parents from the day.  It was epic. 

There is a lesson here.  I am a prime example of how we as moms can make a mountain out of a mole hill.  Where do the priorities go when our hair is on fire and we are running around in an undefinable stream of insanity?  

What matters most?  I want my kids to feel loved and special.  I want them to know what matters most is who they are and how they treat people, not what outfit they are wearing.  The funny thing was, all that stress, and I had a handful of compliments on his jacket.  You know the one he was growing out of with a hole in the sleeve.  Geez!  Reality check party of one, and yet, I’d venture to say, I am not alone in this boat.  Stop and ask, is what I am freaking out about - inwardly or outwardly - a major or minor issue?  If its minor, let it go, we have far too many major issues to worry about!  Let me be your lesson for the day.  

Happy Thanksgiving!