Let me first say, I am not Miss Manners and don't live my life to the book of etiquette, but even with that being said, we are crossing over into a territory that is sad to me. I spent ten years planning weddings for our church and for friends. I also have worked as a youth pastor for 14 years and a good chunk of that job is planning events. I love event planning and its a great fit for my anxiety-prone personality. The anxiety, while usually a negative, proves helpful when you have to envision every possible scenario ahead of time. That way, you are prepared for whatever may come.
So there are really two things I want to share (and trust me there are way more than two issues).
1. Don't Abandon Paper!
Our digital world is saving some trees and that is great, but some events warrant the extra step of pen to paper. If you want to gather friends at your house for a fun get together or even have a kids birthday party, I really don't think its an issue to do a Facebook event, even though if you are inviting older folks or those not as technologically advanced, you may wish to also have a paper invite. Both is great!
The more formal the event, the less I think a Facebook event suffices. For example, if you are getting married, send out invitations!!!! This is a big deal, and even if you have a small budget, you can print things fairly inexpensively these days. It doesn't have to be super complicated, ornate or embellished, but tradition of the invitation, is really vital. Sending someone a note is personal.
It says you care.
Before I leave this point, let's discuss the "Thank-you" note. I admit, I can go overboard with this topic, but if someone takes the time to give you a gift (for any occasion) or make time to celebrate a special event with you, a thank-you note is important. As I explained to my six-year-old son - if they took the time to give and wrap the gift, you can take the time to thank them for it. Please for big events, don't send out a pre-printed standard thank-you. That is almost as bad as not sending one.
Its like saying,
"I know I am supposed to send this to you, but I don't care enough to take the time to actually do this properly."
It doesn't have to be long, but tell them you are glad they came to your event, thank them for their card or gift. Let them know why it means something to you, and sign your name. DONE! If you are lucky enough to have people rally around you in life, than you owe them the thanks for being there.
Please Note: If you are a thank-you note giver and you miss something here and there, its okay, we aren't perfect and frankly, this blog post isn't addressing you because you write them in the first place.
2. RSVP
First, let me say, please RSVP! Its common courtesy and unless it says "regrets only," please let the person know you got the invite and you either plan to come or don't plan to. If you have an scheduling issue that won't allow you to know until after the RSVP, please alert the person inviting you to this issue. Silence may be easier for you, but it is RUDE!!!
Now, my sister enters the scene. She called to get my feedback on an event she is hosting and how to handle a specific situation. Someone had RSVP'ed for more than were invited and she reminded me of my own list of similar experiences. Take note of who is invited and if you want to bring someone (a date, your kids), first ask if it is okay before giving your RSVP. Please consider the cost the host is having to pay, the people limit they may have or the venue constraints. You aren't the one planning so you don't have all the facts. Please check first before you just make a decision on that front. Look at the envelope who is invited? The Family, the couple, you and a date or JUST YOU? Please note and RSVP accordingly.
Like I said there is more I could say, but that is all for now. Please go about your regularly scheduled lives.
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