Sometimes the best thing we can do is be quiet. This week in my Bible reading, I was working through one of my favorite books, James. In James, we are told to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger (James 1: 19-21). I know more than anyone that my mouth can be my greatest asset and quickest downfall.
We think we always have the best thing to say and we are usually dying to get it out. We are often so quick to speak that we fail to hear the person to which we are talking and in life words aren’t the only solution resource we have to offer. So what else can we do besides run our mouth? Well, its pretty simple!
1. Pray -
We aren’t God and prayer often reminds us of that. We are called to walk by the Spirit of God but how can we do that when we are walking by the spirit of self. Its not a part of the Holy Trinity its just a human perspective and not the only one. Prayer connects us with people through God who knows the other person greater than we do.
2. Be -
In an online world, we have lost some offline tools. The best relationships are found in human, face-to-face, contact. Quiet is awkward but often necessary. I recall a story by pastor and author Craig Groeschel where he went to be with a family who had lost a child. He felt he floundered in his condolences but later found his quiet presence with them in their home was exactly what they needed. We need to not only be still in our time with God, but also in our relationships with each other. Just being in the presence of our family and friends without outside distractions can be a powerful force that forges the relationship and holds our souls together.
3. Touch -
I recently ran into a woman I know in public. She happens to be someone I hold a great affection for and unfortunately don’t see often. As our paths crossed, she shared some new bad news she received from her doctor. In that very public place I grabbed her and hugged her. That hug did more for both of us than any words I could utter in that moment. During my years in college, I heard the statistic that as humans we need 20 hugs a day to feel secure. I don’t know if the number is accurate, but I do know the concept is true. We need physical touch. Touch is very powerful with friends and family. When my friend, who is not a touchy-feely kind of person, lost his wife, he was welcoming of a hug. It was comforting in a very tenderly hearted moment.
4. Listen -
We learn the most by listening not by talking. When I say listen, I mean actively receiving and processing what the other person has to say without any thought to a rebuttal. Sometimes the best way to make headway with someone in a debate or growing a relationship is by lending a listening ear. Whether or not you understand or agree, can you become empathic or hear the heart behind the words?
1. Pray -
We aren’t God and prayer often reminds us of that. We are called to walk by the Spirit of God but how can we do that when we are walking by the spirit of self. Its not a part of the Holy Trinity its just a human perspective and not the only one. Prayer connects us with people through God who knows the other person greater than we do.
2. Be -
In an online world, we have lost some offline tools. The best relationships are found in human, face-to-face, contact. Quiet is awkward but often necessary. I recall a story by pastor and author Craig Groeschel where he went to be with a family who had lost a child. He felt he floundered in his condolences but later found his quiet presence with them in their home was exactly what they needed. We need to not only be still in our time with God, but also in our relationships with each other. Just being in the presence of our family and friends without outside distractions can be a powerful force that forges the relationship and holds our souls together.
3. Touch -
I recently ran into a woman I know in public. She happens to be someone I hold a great affection for and unfortunately don’t see often. As our paths crossed, she shared some new bad news she received from her doctor. In that very public place I grabbed her and hugged her. That hug did more for both of us than any words I could utter in that moment. During my years in college, I heard the statistic that as humans we need 20 hugs a day to feel secure. I don’t know if the number is accurate, but I do know the concept is true. We need physical touch. Touch is very powerful with friends and family. When my friend, who is not a touchy-feely kind of person, lost his wife, he was welcoming of a hug. It was comforting in a very tenderly hearted moment.
4. Listen -
We learn the most by listening not by talking. When I say listen, I mean actively receiving and processing what the other person has to say without any thought to a rebuttal. Sometimes the best way to make headway with someone in a debate or growing a relationship is by lending a listening ear. Whether or not you understand or agree, can you become empathic or hear the heart behind the words?
Not only do we not need to have all the answers in every situation, we likely do not have them anyway. Too many debates are happening on social media and they are tearing up relationships because there is no relational foundation for the weight of the words we are using. We think we know the words to say to change someone’s mind on a hot topic or to salve the soul of someone walking a hard road, and even if we do, I suggest you first pause before you speak. Ask yourself, “Even if this is true, is this the best time and medium in which I can say it?” Maybe its your turn to speak truth, but taking a second to evaluate can save a lot of heartache if its not. Remember, you have other tools at your discretion, use them!
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