You Matter

This month the topic is self-care. So many people don't take care of themselves and so it begs the question: why not?

A common thread among so many today is that when they answer the question, "do you matter?" They would answer, "no."  I mean if you ask them, they would verbally say "yes," but that voice in their head says something different.

The only way to overcome something is to face it because often the fear of facing it is worse than the actual issue itself.  We are scared if we take a mental inventory and assess the thoughts that keep us down, we will be challenged at a value level.

Step 1:

Take note of everything you are thinking.  What are the doubts and self-worth statements that are cutting at your value?  Is it:

I'm not good enough

I'm not important

My value is based on what others say or think

I don't have what it takes

I can't do this


That list just keeps going and sure we may say, "I don't believe those things," but in truth some variation of those statements above or something like them replay in your mind on a loop and that is keeping you from understanding your worth.

Truth: Life is hard.  I love this post on Instagram from @galiacollaborative

Reality is, we often rush to blaming ourselves when life doesn't go well instead of understanding that life isn't going to always go well.  Its not an indicator that we are the issue.  We all have issues but again, we aren't an issue.  Do you see the difference? 

Step 2: 

Once you've identified those mean thoughts start looking up some antonyms to those nasty thoughts.  I was processing some negative emotions recently and was feeling abandonment even though I wasn't actually being abandoned.  I got my emotion oils, and my journal and looked up those antonyms, then wrote out the opposite of abandonment in a personal way. 

I told myself, I am reclaimed, redeemed, wanted, secure.  Those were truths even though I wasn't feeling that way. 

I also listened to God's word because He tells me I matter.  

Matthew 10:31 ESV

Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.

Psalm 139:13-14 ESV

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

Matthew 16:26 ESV

For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?

That last one reminds me why we fight for our value.  We can focus on money and busy days with life check lists and lose ourselves and when we do, is it worth it?  

You are worth fighting for.  

Step 3: 

Repeat the truths of step 2, post them everywhere so you are being reminded of truth.  Our brains need repetition to create new neural pathways, so hearing yourself say the positive opposites to your go-to thoughts is what you need to replace them.  Eventually your brain will replace the bad ones with the good ones.  

Step 4: 

In all of this don't forget you are not alone.  Connect with friends and find a community that will encourage you along the way.  

Don't forget the best way to be diligent with self-care is to first say, "I matter." Only when you know your value can be able to make self-care a priority.  Happy Wednesday!